Light of Love

The light is all it takes to awake me from the night,

Be it the moon, or the screen of my phone, or sunrise.

It finds my eyes, it washes away the sleep,

I've even awoken to the glow of my own heart in-love
more than once.

But that faded into the fabric of my being because promises were given that he couldn't keep.

----

On the edge of my seat endless eons every single day,

Waiting but not stagnant I cannot allow myself to doubt what I feel.

What we feel is summoning itself towards us,

The more passionately I feel it the faster and harder it comes along.

I will not stop.
I'll sing this song.
I don't care that I've been alone so long.
After years of waking up I can't be so wrong.
I can't be making this up, he'll come along.


I don't always understand the dance,
But I dance on.

I curl my hair, put red lipstick on,

But I do it because it feels pure, it makes me happy, I sing my song,

I never knew I had this much joy and peace within me for way too long.

I don't look so stunning because I need a man,

I know more than a few that'd gladly hold my hand.

I am stunning, because that's me,
And living as anything less would be fighting reality.

And though my moon,
She craves her sun,
My female essence desires male,
I want just one.
I won't settle for less,
I don't want more.
I'm not desperate, nor am I a whore.

Many a good man has vied for my heart
Tried for my heart
But I know before we start its over
Not there
Nor ever shall be
No matter how good on paper,
 not truth
Not reality

And of the ones that I did love
Too quickly the boat capsized
They saw my light
I saw it in their eyes
But
When the chase was over
They'd run and hide
My HONESTY became sharply real
against the pattern of their inner lies
And the pain of the difference
Was more than they could deny
They left without even saying goodbye
They left the shell of their integrity behind


This level of beauty
Of honesty
Tears a less ready heart to smithereens
It takes many years
To build the strength
To OWN your facts without restraint


So come to me lover
Set fire to my inner moon
Melt my soul
And I'll make you room.

I'll love you like
The moon and stars
Move poets to tears
Move ocean's tide
And if you stay strong
Don't run and hide
And prove yourself true
That your passion abides
I'll follow you
With my every day
Like the entire universe loving you
In every way
Like life itself
touching you
Tenderly
You have to be yourself before you come to me
Own your truth and live in reality

Find me
I want to see you see me
See the spark
Feel the gravity
You come get me
Prove your love
Through every glance
Through actions too
And I'll love you endlessly
Unselfishly and true
I'll give you a love so pure
It's only seen by very few
Received by fewer
Nothing more sacred
Nothing truer

-----

I live on
As if you see me
Because I love what it is to be
Who I am
Like a source of light
Drawing eyes naturally without a fight

But I won't settle
I won't sell my soul
Years of thinking
'close' was enough have taken a toll
And now I want
No one but you
I don't know where you'll come from
But when you do

I know my life
As I have known
Was just preparing me
for an even brighter road

So on the edge of my seat endless eons everyday

I love every moment of this agony
Waiting for you to find me
But it's tearing me from inside
And I won't run and hide

I'll curl my hair, put my red lipstick on
I refuse to be anything less than me
And now it's dawn
Everyday
So full and deep
I've got evolution to fulfill so I can't sleep
I have a promise to the universe to keep

You'll come along
Unknown when
I'll be singing my song
I won't pretend
That I don't want you
No games
But
No haste
You have to prove you love me beyond the chase
And when you do
I'll know it's you
Divinity
Loving divinity
In the forms of my man and lady

Release You

I'm not less because you were inconsistent..
I'm not less because you treated me like a whore,
When I gave you respect, devotion, love, honesty, my body, my heart, my soul
and you wanted MORE.


I still have my integrity.
You have a broken image of what you are
and what you THINK you should be.

I have to lose all the pieces of everything.
I have to sit in this intense space.
This immense place,
of deep discomfort,
And I can handle it.

I would've given you the devotion of all my days,
The love of a good woman shouldn't be taken for granted.
You chased me, defaced me, erased me and in your heart,
 fearful resistance supplanted,
All the feelings you declared for me.

All the nightmares of your reality,
You can't erase,
They will follow you wherever you go,
Wherever you call home,
And you chose to face them all alone.

I am not made less because you had to maintain a false sense of superiority,
Just to avoid your inner feelings of inferiority,
You have shown your priorities,
And I see that honesty is NOT ranking highly.

Maybe if I were less,
 you'd still be around,
Because my fearless adherence to the truth wouldn't intimidate you,
You would be able to control me,
Sedate yourself,
 and I wouldn't call you out on it because I'd be less free..

But I'm not and my disgust is not because of me,
And I won't waste my breath blaming it on you and your inconsistency,
I'm only bothered that it takes more than a week to release the love I had for you from deep within me.

I'm not doubting my beauty
I'm not doubting my grace
I'm not wishing you'd come back to me,
Don't even show me your shameful face.

My mind knows you were childish,
And my heart wants no less than a REAL love
to breathe deep into my lungs.
I'm just waiting for my body to release you,
And heal the wounds leveled by your lying tongue.
Your hands never lied, you were cold and CRUEL,
And the judgement in your voice LASHING at ME
 but stemming from within YOU.

You were part of my story,
But you burned down the glory,
You pillaged the beautiful place in which you were held,
You decimated the love you beheld,
You destroyed your throne,
Now you're on your own,
And your place
In my heart
Became as an object
A catalyst
Not a man
No longer priceless
But a dime a dozen

So enjoy your material wasteland,
And I'll hear from you when you realized how tragically you played your hand
Guarantee it'll be too late
You chose your fate
And with this I release you.
God bless you in all you do.
I deserve much better than you.

Stress, Stretching Your Limits, and Transcendence..

The only way to become stronger when you workout is to extend just past your natural, comfortable limits. Well, that truth extends in every direction of life, tangible and intangible alike.

I tell my students regularly that when they practice, they should come to the point of comfort, then let themselves go beyond that, to the realm where it takes work to still breathe rhythmically and keep their facial muscles relaxed. We get to the edge of the comfort zone, and then where we would typically stop, we hover... And breathe.. And burn.. And let the intensity course through our veins and mind. This process is both purifying in our denial of limitation, our bold facing and enveloping of the sensations we may typically run away from, and in the growth it produces. We force ourselves to stretch our awareness to encompass more pieces of information in each split moment, instead of the brain's default maneuver: truncating anything remotely familiar and flattening it to a 2-dimensional version of itself.

This doesn't just happen on the yoga mat, or in the gym, but in our daily lives as well. At least, we are invited into this process, whether we embrace it or not is our choice. We tend to think of stress as something other than life; something we can escape one day, something not present in heaven or nirvana. Stress is ever present though, stress is a major guru in life- the heat and pressure giving us an opportunity and the energy to turn the coal of our untrained mind into the diamond of pure loving awareness and authenticity of spirit.

STRESS AND CHALLENGES ARE NOT OTHER THAN LIFE, SO DON'T KEEP WAITING FOR THEM TO DISAPPEAR BEFORE YOU START LIVING AUTHENTICALLY OR MORE FULLY!! Instead, use stress for what it provides- a potent opportunity for purification and growth. Anyone can be perfectly loving and peaceful on vacation, with zero responsibilities, no time constraints, but it takes an advanced soul to begin to generate love and peace right in the hot mess that is child-rearing, career, time schedules and limitations of time and space. THIS is our opportunity and challenge. THIS is life: life is love... And life is mining for the diamond of love inside yourself and letting its light guide you, not around or avoiding the dark and dangerous areas of life experience, but going right through them, feeling them, aching, hurting, falling, embarrassing yourself, stinging at the mistakes, and this letting that memory of pain motivate you to hold stronger to the truth of your heart in every single situation.

THAT is real life. Those moments where you are completely free from stress are blissful... Pure bliss, and you earn them by learning to dance with stress and welcome it as the training grounds. Eventually, you can handle an astonishing amount of stress without any ill effects, just a great deal of growth. It requires the development of intense self care as well: knowing when to rest, relax, hide, only to recharge and run right back into the ring.

Life is beautiful, amazing, pure love and miracles are unfolding around us and through us constantly. However, stress is part of this gorgeous experience. Stress and other suffering is the catalyst for real growth, real expansion, and the development of true, functional, unshakeable peace.

Let your desire to be a more loving, wise, compassionate, decisive and authentic being pull you through stress, let it motivate your development so that the more it hurts, the more you work on forming habits that express your inner goodness and sense of rightness. Slowly we stretch our limits and retrain our reactions, and down the road a little ways, we can see how far we have truly come. And the journey never stops... This is what it is to be alive as a human being.

Sent from my iPhone