You Are Never Above Feeling

Being on a path of consciousness, never think that you are above, or beyond, or past, having to heal or feel anything.. 

There is much to feel, and even more to heal, and it must be felt in order to be healed.. So the remnants of your ancient wounds are going to rise up slowly over time, to the surface, to be felt.. Scanned, observed, absorbed, processed, and released.. Be it through art or movement or tears or words or all of it. 

It will feel like starting over, all over again.. It will feel like dying and coming alive all over again.. It will feel like regressing into pitch black and then exploding into broad brilliant daylight.. Over and over again. You ain't too pure for this work. Pure ain't even pure. Get yourself off of your sanitized pedestal of detachment, and reawaken your sixth sense.. The emotions/sensations of energy.. And FEEL that.. SIT in that intensity, while you go about your day to day chores.. And NOW you are on the path..

This is not for the faint of heart, the lazy, or those who can't be bothered with emotions.. This is emotional work... Becoming conscious. We are dealing with a universal energy field, for goodness sake..

This is work for us all, in order to expand into the highest level of self-expression, of love, of communication, of success and abundance in all ways, individually. We are all in this together, individually, and we are unified in that.

This work will start to call you by tapping it's finger gently on the window of your heart.. Then years later it's banging on the door with fists.. And then, if we haven't engaged our truth head on, well, reality will burn our comfortable prison to the ground. You'll feel your passion, your heart, your truth, writhing within you, begging, scratching, scraping at your insides because it's dying to be free.. YOU are dying to be free and to live a life, not to satisfy anyone else's ideals, but to truly express your soul, here in this world of form. 

So the question is.. Have you answered the door?? Are you listening to your passion, to what pulls you with delight and ecstasy, what excites every nerve-ending of your mind and every particle of your soul?? Are you answering the call to step outside of your complacency, and comfort zone, to keep growing, to keep discovering, to stay connected to the pulse of life itself flowing through you??

Well, it's never too late to change your answer. 

Go ahead, feel. Feel everything. Let it tear your old self and ideas to shreds. Then, light and free and magnificent, there YOU are. 

Faith

Faith is fighting to know my own worth and majesty after a lifetime of not seeing or feeling it.

Faith is believing that no matter how embarrassing my learning has been, that I am brilliant and never was anything less. Even if I've felt the sting of embarrassment more times than I can imagine or express.

Faith is believing, in spite of the ugly patterns I've faced for far too many years, that real love is everywhere and that a partner equal in consciousness and strength exists, and will become part of my life, at any moment. Faith is believing it's not too late, that I'm not being punished, that I never should settle, that every truly happy couple I see inspires me and shows me love is real and possible.

Faith is fighting to believe these things, fighting to be happy, because there is no reason to stay beaten down, ever.

Faith is knowing that these feelings are just old wounds leaving me, and that I'm better and brighter by the day.

No matter how worthless I've ever felt in my youth, no matter how unseen by my own family, my own friends, by lovers, I SEE ME, I know who I am. Not only do I need a man who truly sees me, but who knows that if he passes his chance to be with me, he'll regret it for the rest of his days. I'm not just some fish, some one of many, dime a dozen. How dare you blame your fears on fate and timing?! Letting me go is losing me forever. I will not wait, I will not be spun in circles stagnantly while you slowing decide to grow up. I'm gone. You chose. That's not faith, boys, that's your free will and cross to bear.

I have faith that there is a man that will value me and my heart and my light above his own complacency, fears, and habits. He won't have to compromise who he is; he will be richer, freer, more electrifying and authentic because of the alchemy of our energies. He will have to crack his walls and expand and grow and never stop. Otherwise he cannot keep up with me.

Faith is believing that something good is happening, that all things good are happening; no matter how much you've hurt, been disappointed in the fearful shallowness of the world around you, resonant beings exist. Faith is staying open and letting the universe love you in a million ways through a million beings. Faith is standing your ground and being yourself, no matter who or how many tell you that you aren't right. I know myself better than you do. How well do you know yourself??

Faith is standing steady with a slight smile while your whole world falls down again.. AGAIN... Because you know that this means it's all about to get even better. Have faith.

What Are You Really Looking For?

Why can't I sleep? Why can't I sleep???

Your mind is busy. Why is it busy? It's so accustomed to instantly moving that it's a habit to avoid slowing down.. When you let yourself slow down, you feel everything you were avoiding..

What are you avoiding? Are you lonely? Are you healthy? What are you feeling and how does it differ from what you want to feel?

Know that it is YOUR responsibility to create health and happiness within yourself and no one else's.. Having a partner won't fix that. Likewise, if you have a partner, it's STILL your responsibility to make yourself feel right and good.. Take action, make changes.

Pay attention to what you are REALLY feeling.. What is the conversation underneath the conversation? What is felt? What are your true desires and motivations? Can't you start to bring your words into alignment with THAT instead of just speaking on the surface?

Can you take full hold of your actions and reactions and make them into something that you are proud of, something that amazes you?

We can't control others. We can't force sleep, love or true balance for that matter.. But we can set up conducive circumstances, and let ourselves flow into it..

May you flow into love, harmony, and luscious sleep!