The Loneliness On The Spiritual Path, Finding Your Tribe, Happiness and Real Love

The Loneliness On The Spiritual Path, Finding Your Tribe, Happiness and Real Love NOVEMBER 2012 "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." ~ Dalai Lama

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Teresa

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'" ~Erich Fromm

"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could." ~Barbara de Angelis

"Normal" lifestyle according to American pop culture is based on the material level of life alone. It is devoid of genuine heartfelt variation, uniqueness, self-expression and real spirituality. It supports people being trapped in their own heads and traumatized and imprisoned with self-consciousness and the ego running rampant, comparing self to others constantly trying to rank and compete and fit in and appease. This is not heart-centered, authentic or as Jeff Brown calls it, Soul-centered, living. It is fake and negates deep honesty and authenticity, which then defies any real happiness, confidence, or fulfilment in living.

Living life in harmony with your inner truth leads to much deeper and realer fulfilment in life- it is discovering your life purpose and giving yourself to it; it is living a lifestyle that brings out your best, makes you feel your best and shine your brightest as much as possible. However, there is a price to pay for authenticity: all the people, foods, places, actions, thoughts, and habits that aren't harmonious with who you become at each stage of spiritual growth must be shed. Letting go of friends, ways of life, old ideas, can be VERY painful. And there is a time in between when you lost the old nouns and verbs that don't fit right or fulfil you anymore and when the new people, places, and things fill your life... and this time is usually a swirling cycle of bright and amazing experiences, and dark cold, lonely times when you wish you could find people and a society that you fit in with.

This time period is different for everyone, and this transitional space comes not just once, but every so often on the spiritual journey, as vibrations change, that which resonates harmoniously changes too. These times are very trying. Why do we have to go through this, as beings aiming to live positive and grateful lives? Devo Mahesvara.. the difficulty helps us to discard that which is no longer serving our good. It is the time for trial-and-error, a lot of learning, a lot of exploring what is meaningful and inspiring to you... and as you hold in your heart the vibrations you now embody, the energy of who you are and are becoming, as you live it and explore it.. you are attracting towards you the people and places and experiences that will nourish you. You are attracting your authentic life and your tribe.

Teacher Jeff Brown calls it a "soul pod" like a family of dolphins, connected by past lives, similar vibrations, and/or similar levels of consciousness. These are the people who "get" you, who view life in compatible ways, enjoy the sames sorts of things, disassociate from most of the same parts of conventional society as you. They become your brothers and sisters. They become soul-friends, and soul-mates, partners in crime, best friends, inspirations, support, mirrors, and they UPLIFT you, they do not DRAIN you.
I have had times of extreme loneliness, when I was learning to live an authentic lifestyle based on my own heart-compass, but I knew no one that I connected with. I was so sad, so confused, I thought there had to be something wrong with me, I mean, I wasn't like anyone else. I was happy with who I was except for the fact that I was extremely alone. So I developed a handy little eating disorder to deal with my sensitivity to energy and it was a horrible, painful cycle. Yoga slowly pulled me out of it and towards other beings as I continued on a heart-centered path. The loneliness pops up sometimes, especially I find that changing eating habits tends to lead to a feeling of disconnetion from others.. so becoming raw vegan from regular vegan made me feel much more alone and unalike anything "normal". I didn't want to be "normal", but we all want to have loved ones that love us and that we can love and feel part of... real family.


Another amazing side-effect of these periods of loneliness, I am discovering as I am coming into a new time of connection, is to learn greater and greater capacities for giving and receiving love. I am becoming extraordinarily open with my appreciation and adoration and love for the people who contribute to my world. This ability to appreciate SO thoroughly is directly connected to the pain suffered in times of loneliness.. If I wasn't THAT painfully lonely I would take this gratitude and love for granted or think nothing of it, or not even notice it well. It is in times of suffering that the heart is broken, and instead of letting it heal smaller and harder, like conventional wisdom would have us do, the yogi lets it heal wider, wide enough to swallow the sorrow. It breaks wide open and we let it heal large and open and more sensitive. And that is how we feel greater and greater love, joy, gratitude, satisfaction and fulfilment in life. All the things that were keeping our hearts small are broken through and transcended. Our capacity grows. Not just for love, but for intensity in general, for life in general, for joy, sorrow, peace, PRESENCE, our capacity to be fully present grows.

So even if you feel like you know no one anything like you, just keep folowing the things that make you happy, that uplift, inspire, enliven, the things that stoke your passion, your creativity, your fulfilment.. and you will find your tribe, your chosen family, and you will know you are loved and magnificent. You may have felt that way before, but the validation and the mirror of your beauty in the hearts of others you love and respect is a nourishment that we all need. And it shall come! Blessings!!!

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