108 nights of meditation: how concentration works

I am still keeping the chain, although my meditation style is very creative, tactile and not very rigid and forceful. The difference between formal meditation and my interpretation of Tantric meditation is that one can feel bored, forced and restricted in a formal seated practice. In keeping my consciousness as the focus, my attention naturally falls where it wishes. Where there is interest or delight there is concentration, naturally. So I practice opening my awareness in the moment without expectation, judgement or agenda. I let creativity lead.

So I basically follow my fascination for 20 mins a night. I feel joyful when I practice, and after as well. It actually gives me a lot of energy, where forcing my concentration stiffly caused me to feel tired more often. They say it takes more energy to fight the flow. Instead of trying to control the situation, I am riding the wave of consciousness, not clinging to the objects in it, but delighting in their experience while they flow by. Sometimes a natural little fluid movement arises and I flow with it and feel presence, or I sit very straight and still + just enjoy the ride. I enjoy the rising and dissolution of what tickles my senses, without seeking it.
In this way I find it hard to NOT become energized, inspired, joyful and at peace. Meditation can take many forms. Don't let those stuck on form poison your ability to explore and adventure. Eventually, we have to go beyond ALL concepts on our journey to clear awareness.
We also have to keep evolving. As we do, what used to work for us may not any longer. We change, so new ways work better in our new consciousness. Change and movement are the nature of the manifest universe. Embrace the flow! We can't fight reality if we are trying to find reality-it certainly doesn't help!

So simple, so difficult

We come to a place on the path where we are pretty pure- our body, lifestyle, motivations... And then the bigger challenge isn't to hold on to increasing information, but to let go. To let go of everything, and become purely motivated from the stirring of our heart-center in a completely personal-impersonal way.
Letting go of past, future, expectations, sense of self, sense of others and just re-becoming pure awareness.
This is a simple yet completely, incredibly difficult challenge...

108 Days of Meditation. Day 2

Already I noticed my sleep is deeper, fewer dreams, and when I do dream it seems more lucid and spiritually oriented. It is too soon to say but my waking consciousness seems a little clearer as well.

I have heard many times that meditating at night (versus during dawn, daylight or dusk) challenges the fears one has stored in the ego. I am bold, comfortable and at ease any other time, but have always felt uneasy at night. The fears are usually directed at nothing in particular and are usually active only when I am completely alone. Fear comes from the ego, it is a form of ignorance.

I originally didn't think of this possibility, but I am excited and solidly going to witness and become free of this aspect of egoic fears. I am embracing this practice with determination. I am feeling safer and safer just in making this determination.

I try to continue the practice of mindfulness throughout my days, but I feel a deep strength and joy arising in this experiment and I positively anticipate my meditation session when it comes into my awareness.