The Need For Communication

Silent agony
Underneath the sky
Each day lasts for days and I can't lie
Taking me to the edge of my sky
Endless eons lived in every day
But lightness returns when you make your play
Until then..
Like a glacier scraping through my heart and head
With a deep scouring occurring, nothing said
Evolution occurs and I'm forced to let go
Over and over this is the show

I can stand in my feet and so I do
I was not planning to depend on you
Too many times it's come true
You're not the rug in standing on..
Or else I can bet it'd soon be gone

Wonder, wonder, upon a star
I'm happy within and come so far
But what's this pattern going on
Is my desire for response all too wrong?

Desire, no, it's fair enough,
But Expectations are brutal stuff,
And when, and when, they're not fulfilled,
That is when my heart is spilled.
I'm high above so I won't crash,
But this edgy silence stirs backlash.
Your Silence is forcing growth but creating instability,
And a paradigm of doubting that you fully want me.

Time isn't much but it's ancient and vast,
It's only been days but I feel the contrast,
To witnessing, witnessing your rhythms and flows,
And openly seeing how everything goes.

You're an angel and of that there is not doubt,
And I had to let the pressure out.
I cannot level an offense at you,
& I do not doubt that you are true.
But I feel maybe my place is not in your heart
Us not as One as it seems at every start

And then by now I come to bed
And see that this may be just my head
But I'm not wrong, I feel it all,
But I also don't need to fall.

So exhale, exhale once again,
Trust you, trust me, and transcend.

It's not easy with such empathy,
Connected to one who prefers to be a mystery.
A couple sentences each day are not too much,
A tiny price to own my touch,
A simple way to grant me peace,

It's not my head, it is my heart,
A choice must be made to make a start,
Still resisting sharing with me your heart,
I'll hold the space but you must light the dark.

My Light and Love

This love and light that I am
Is like glass
Is like light itself pouring at the one receiving it

And this loving-light can be bright
Intense
Like a mirror
Sometimes it's a harsh experience
To be exposed
To be held accountable
Because this mirror reflects
A level of truth
Most humans never wish to know
The level of truth
That is where we are all going

And to the one seeing their reflection in the words and eyes of the mirror

It can reveal that with which they struggle most within

That which they maybe wished was hidden

All the details of your skin you wish were a secret
The imperfections, the lines

All the things you don't know how to accept

Or love
Or change
Or face
(The fears, the patterns, the times you wish to disappear)

& Yet

This mirror offers no judgement
In the brightness of the light
In the stark exposure of your defects
This mirror doesn't begrudge
Never thinks less
In fact only more

It caresses your humanity
With it's light
Filled with love
Unconditional love

Because this mirror
Has battled
Still has it's struggles
Still grows clearer
By it's own striving
Still aches
But just less than it used to
And with the peace of tested & proven faith

And it shows you what you have to look forward to
The reward of your agonizing work
As a human stepping into it's greatness and divinity

And i am still learning
So it seems
For the men closest to me
How to be true to my force
Like the ocean
Like the sun and moon
Like a wave
Like a mirror
Pouring light
Accepting no degree of falsity
And still not harm them as I scrub off their shells, as I expose their fragility

To me
Your vulnerability
Is filled with beauty
As much as your strength
Perhaps even more

I only want to let you know
You are loved
Cherished
Cradled
By my seeing
And I stand to empower
your magnificence
Because it is all I see within you
Shining back at me
Light meeting light
Mirrors reflecting souls
And like mirrors do
Two
Amplify the light
Exponentially
Greater than separately

I am not daunted by the details you call defects
Or wish to remain anonymous within
I see you as a spiritual warrior,
Being of light
But maybe in the power
And intensity
Of my light and of my love
It is an unknown force
Hard to understand

The combination is not what mere mortals tend to enjoy
Or expect
Or have the willingness to withstand

I must be authentic
I am this mirror
I want my equal mirror
To unabashedly expose me
With omniscient love
Within the light
And for us to support each other's transcendence of mortality
Into the realm of divinity

Equal partners are always equal
Not by refusing to be vulnerable
Or putting on airs
Or hoisting walls of safety
But by knowing
their wholeness and strength isn't compromised
By flowing
with the need
To lean into the other &
work out spiritual growth together
Share the burden
Shine two lights and expose solution faster

Sometimes you'll lean into my arms,
And I will stroke your hair and
pouring limitless undying love
over you like honey
Make the harshness of this lesson, this moment bearable...like love meditation

Or loving you enough to grant you sabbatical, if you need to climb the Mount Everest within alone, this is not unknown and upon that, from the distance, my light can be shone

And at times I will certainly need you to hold me,
cradle me,
surround my fragility
with the strength of your flesh and your ancient soul..
just hold me
and let me silently heal the subtle remnants of wounds from when I didn't have you..
Many years of needing to be held with no arms,
No light to see mine,
Or reflect my love,
did leave behind harm..

And typically, we'll dance,
create, escalate
into exponentially
higher realms of consciousness than we ever reached
before and much faster
and more freely
than we could have
If you and me
Weren't mirrors for each other's souls
For each other's greatness
For each other's truth
Pouring love and light
Like the sun
Over each other
Like a blessing
Like a prayer
Like divinity itself
Like the air
Weightlessly
Supporting
The life and beauty it surrounds
So gently
But so powerfully

Equal footing
Sharing the burden
Catalyzing the destruction and creation of universes within each other
And allowing space for all we need
Separately
And together

I will never again allow
Anything less than a sacred relationship

Please know
That although I expose
In the mirror
Of my heart
Everything
You are never nothing less than sacred to me
And I would love you as my spiritual practice
To grow brighter
By honoring you
And fighting the battle
To release all fear
And let love create my reality
Kiss you
Cascade my love and unending reverence upon you
Leaving divine light on your skin
And treasure you for everything that makes you
You
Divinely human
Complicated
Infinite
And unique

Tissue Paper Circles

Tissue Paper Circles

Laura Harrison


The thinnest layers of emotion and sensation,
like a texture so fine, that its far beyond touch,

meshing with the energies around me,
like two tissue paper circles, we overlap to see
a new color formed where our energies meet,
so subtle so fine, so close to impossible to define,

I have to sharpen the skills to discern,
this is a difficult but most intriguing and desirable talent to learn,

peeling back the delicate strata, delicate like a spider's web,
real like steel, trying to understand what I feel..

where do my feelings and energies end,
where do others' begin,
what belongs to whom,
what belongs to the ecosystem of the room,
of the trees,
of the town,
of the people,
each person,
which is them, and which is me?

Each in a split second, I feel so much,
more alive with sensation, so far beyond the touch,
I am honored to be awake to this beginner's state,
some would say I'm early to be here, many would say its late..

but I'm here, and observing,
quickly catching up, quickly learning..

And maybe I will begin to see more clearly,
through my deepest senses, I feel more each day,
but sometimes I don't know what is me,
he, she, and they.


Commentary:  The more conscious we become, and the more we lighten up our energy, the more sensitve we are to that sixth sense of energy.. spirit.. Some people are born with that quality already heightened, or a near-death experience brings it on..  these people are often mediums, empaths, intuitives.. and not everyone uses this skill professionally.. many people are just this way.. many people don't know it or understand it.. And that is very challenging, because our "culture" in America denies the spiritual's genuine existence. So there are many people, myself included, that go through a lot of suffering before they come to understand what they have been experiencing.

We all can feel energy, and we all experience it to some extent, even the most closed people can experience it at times.. Some of us are more sensitive then others.. I'm not as sensitive as many people I know, but more sensitive then most I guess.. and I know it can be hellishly confusing at times, literally feeling your own feelings, plus the feelings of the people near you, plus the energy of the space, the environment, the buildings.. theres energy from all directions, and it can be quite overwhelming. It can make you physically ill, or feel heavy, lethargic, drained of life, depressed, anxious, fearful, or give you things like headaches, stomachaches and the like. Lots of sleep helps.. but it truly is a unique learning curve to aquire and sharpen the skills to discern energy.

The hardest part truly can be to realize where your feelings stop and everyone else's begin...