In Our Own Time

When we met
I saw you
As a reflection of me
But rejected the possibility
Though never completely
But I wasn't ready

Love, there's no knowing
In the moment why
But we can't lie
When we aren't ripe
There's no need to rush
The picking,
To hush,
The process..
The clock's ticking
Is a fantasy.

Ageless souls
Know
In their own
Time
And
I worked
In mine
My way
To You And I

Faces
Feelings
Experiences
Prepared me
For what would be
As it drew closer
I knew you'd come

I may have thought
I was there before
But nothing can
Shake this
Knowing
This experience is showing
Me what I always knew
Love could be

Thank God
With all my heart and soul
For all the plans
Every man
Everything that crashed
Crushed
Destroyed
Cut
Tore
Every door
Shut,
Each opened, &
For my wisdom
to stay wide open
In the face
Of devastation
Manifestation
Proven true
Miracles proven
In meeting you
Synchronicity
And
God
were real to me
But reality
Has made it
Abundantly clear
This can't disappear
Solid knowing
Like I know how to breathe
That this is meant to be
That we are here for mutual love and creativity
And I bow, my head
To the ground
And I now, instead,
Of striving to believe
See
Breathe
Feel
Omnisciently
God is the fabric of Reality
And
We can explore this through
The connection between you and me

We may have felt it coming
Longing, loving, the energy humming
But now,
Is our time,
Ageless souls
In their own time
Find
Their corresponding
Kind.

I'm ready..
Now is our time. <3

Strong Sense of Inner-Rightness

We don't need others to tell us what to do.. when we are confused, we need to ground and spend a little time in nature or alone, exercise or decompress.. and be patient.. keep practicing self-care,  nourishing lifestyle, and staying present, letting go, letting go, letting go..

and at first it happens here and there...

then it happens more..

and more..
until most of our time on this earth is spent with a strong sense of inner-rightness..

it is PEACE,

it is HARMONY with YOUR individual truth,

it is FREEDOM,

and it brngs BLISS, JOY, CONFIDENCE, HEALTH.

REAL FULFILMENT.

Trust inner rightness, not fear..
trust your heart,

trust the UNKNOWN, because it IS intense, but that intensity is the feeling of
INCREDIBLE POTENTIAL ENERGY.. ready to bloom,

but you can't fight it, you have to open to it,

or else your constant questioning will leave you second-guessing into missing every opportunity and beautiful experience life is brining to your hands.

FOLLOW YOU R HEART.. let go of all past, even if it hurts.. because EVERYTHING is fleeting, and love is here in the moment, even if its not from where you wished it to be coming.. and brighter and brighter experiences will come..

the more you live in integrity with your truth, the more whole your satisfaction becomes in life, and love finds you, success finds you, happiness finds you..

it takes PATIENCE to wait for the best gifts.. but each day contains mini-miracles. Stay open and they will rise to meet your eyes, and bring a smile to your lips, put the sway back in your hips, and give you everlasting joy in this world, in spite of an external circumstances.

Blessings.....

Consecrate This Pain

Introduction: this poem is about those bittersweet times when unconditional love asks us to let go of someone we love, someone we loved more then we could've ever imagined.
Its also about pain, pain is inevitable in life, and we have to not resist it, not bottle it, but let it tear through us, let it crack our hearts wide open, to cry, to let the energy move and pass. We can dedicate our pain to the healing of others, and then, somehow it becomes a blessing to feel it, for the sake of someone we love.CONSECRATE THIS PAIN
-Laura Harrison  I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to let you go,As soon as I knew.
I could see
You
Were struggling
To open up to me
I knew long before..
Before I had the strength to let you goAnd
I promise
To listen
Much sooner
Much sooner
Forever more.I dragged it out,
I had to doubt,
But I knew you weren't mine to hold,
I just wanted you to be,
So badly.
I am open, I trust fully,
I trust in you, myself, and in reality,
In honoring the way you needed to pull away
And disconnect from me,
I realized just how much you've come to mean to me.
But for weeks it was a burden
That you didn't need to bare
And it tears my heart to shredsSo if I truly care, then
My only choice
Was to silence the voice
Of my growing love for you,
And since I love you more then my own need
The only right thing was to follow through,
Let go of you,
And hope my absence helps your healing speed.
I know its right, and my heart is true,
And I will dedicate this suffering to you..I wish for your own peace more then my own. I consecrate this pain,
To take the weight off you,
May every tear I cry
Help to set you free,
You owe me nothing,
But this your gift from meSo let me take the pain for you,
Let me bare the burden,
May my suffering set you free..
Let my agony,
Cleanse your own,
I want to do this for you,
Even if you will never love me.
I may be far away,
But I know we are all energy,
And in my deep desire to serve you,
May my devastation set you free.i'm not alone. But I miss you. I wish that I could kiss you. I wish that I could be the one to hold and console, but painfully for me, that doesn't seem to be my role.  That is not my reality.

And for you
I'd keep living with this pain,
As long as you need,
I'll keep crying myself to sleep,
And missing your warmth,
And pray that the love was not a fantasy.
And that you'll be back for me.
 And even if it was,
I wouldn't change a thing,
To know you is an amazing gift,
You have changed everything.
I won't dwell, longer then my stay, this time.
I won't hold on to the pain,
It won't take me under,
But the agony comes in waves,
And I can't help but cry,
I refuse to let it take me asunder,
This pain will only open my heart wider,
And if and when you're ready for me,
I'll only be stronger,
shine brighter,
And we'll both be
glad I set you free.

Embarrassment As Teacher (and exploration of Gunas)

Written for Healing Springs Journal's Feb/March 2013 issue:


The Role of Embarrassment As Teacher
and exploring the Gunas to understand energy and experiences in spiritual growth

by Laura Harrison

It hurts to be embarrassed by our actions. It burns our hearts to make mistakes, it is a complete and almost unbearable form of vulnerability, belly exposed and everyone can see our fallibility. Most people stop there, dwell, form hardened scars, and carry a heavy collection of regrets. But this is not where consciousness is asking us to stop, that is not the intended usage of such experiences. Instead, we stop, and feel that pain, and sit with it, recognizing it, and openly observe. Pieces settle into place. We can journal, talk to friends, practice meditation, energy healing, or yoga asanas. We can connect with animals or nature, walking and hiking, or sitting peacefully. We can think, and we can more importantly cultivate spaciousness... the spaces between the thoughts, and the pieces fall into place, insight arises, and the pain has become an agent for our spiritual development.

The regular and unconscious response to pain and discomfort is to avoid it. We tense against it, we close.. this is resistance. We learn in the path of mindfulness to instead open wider, to offer NO resisitance as we observe all phenomena, all experiences equally without judgment or favoring. What happens when we cease to resist the pain, is that we feel it more accutely and intensely, but it leaves us more open, more free, and more conscious. We can learn from the pain- the sting of embarrassment teaches us not to repeat the same mistakes, like the memory of a burned hand teaches us not to touch a hot pan, or the memory of food poisoning provides a visceral reminder to be more cautious of what we eat.

The evolution of consciousness that we are all undertaking as embodied souls requires this trial-and-error process. As we raise our awareness, as our energy changes, that which used to serve us no longer does. Old habits that were real and important and part of us before, are no longer connected to who we are. These ghosts need to be released. This requires a humbling sense of openess and flexibility of mind, and it can be hard to imagine that those who know us can adapt as our personality evolves with us. However, people connect, disconnect, and sometimes reconnect as their energies are harmonious or disharmonious. Fear of loneliness cannot prevent our evolution, because when one person leaves, another will come. We are here to live our truth, no matter what the cost. And furthermore, if we do not live our truth, we will suffer deep inside, and that suffering will grow like a disease and eventually cause so much ugliness and hurt that we will begin to take it out on others. It never does us or others justice to maintain falseness.  

Spirtiual Puberty

This process of uncomfortable yet delightful evolution is almost like puberty.. with all the awkwardness and embarrassment, confusion, agonizing discomfort, getting lost, figuring, exploring and blossoming into deeper and deeper levels of confidence, strength, and more palpable connections to inner rightness and truth. Just like puberty, the changes are happening, if we wish them to or not. It makes it harder if we fight reality, and since that would be futile, it only makes sense to open wider and wider to the painful but beautiful lessons we earn.

Everything happens in natural cycles; seasons of light and dark, birth and death and rebirth. Life in the physical is filled with nested spirals of evolution; microcosms tucked majestically into macrocosms. Linear paths are typically human in invention, everything else spirals around and around. Forgetting and remembering are part of the journey. Loneliness and rediscovery of interconnection are part of the path as well. As are mistakes and forgiveness

In yoga philosophy, the Gunas are used as a handy way of discussing different qualities in energy. Our cycles of evolution can be seen and understood more with the help of these ideas. Don't worry about grasping the idea and labelling things.. let it help you to articulate what you already feel in your experiences.

The Gunas

There are three gunas. All three are present in all of us, but certain energies, people, or actions can have a strong dominance of one guna in particular. Remember that these labels are to help you articulate and process what you feel, so maybe meditate on an example of each and feel the differences in the qualities of energy.

Tamas is the guna of stillness, of lethargy, of delusion, darkness and depression. It is present in aparent solidness and stagnation. It is part of the "darkness" of negativity, the delusion that we are seperate and the objectifiying other beings and taking advantage of them out of fear or greed. Depression and being overweight are states of excess tamas as heaviness. Tamas is also present in sleep and consistancy, so it is not all negative.

Rajas is excited movement. It is nervous energy, anxiety, scattered or flighty minds. It is like too much caffeine or hyperactivity. It is the inability to sit still, the need to be in constant motion or stimulation. It is chaotic and can be draining because it is unguided. It is abundant, unfocused energy.

Sattva is extreme energy, but where rajas is also extreme energy, rajas is out of balance, and sattva is in balance, focusing that energy into one flow, like a laser. Sattva is considered the higher and lighter state of energy and it is the goal to cultivate an abundance of sattva versus rajas or tamas, according to Vedic philosophy. It is great peace, great love, the ability to accept what is in each moment without fear or resistance.

 The trick is that we can demonize all the other states of being. We can demonize the pain of embarrassment. We can demonize ourselves for learning slowly over many painful experiences, but it doesn't make sense to kill the messenger, to hate the process, the journey. Life IS a journey, your everyday life is your spiritual path. Vacation isn't the only time to be free and accept the flow. Its here and now. In the painful AND blissful experiences of life alike, we are evolving, growing, and becoming free of all the chains we've allowed to bind us.  In every moment we are living our life, choosing how to write our story. And it takes patience, acceptance, and experiences of all kinds to hone the spirit in its interface with the physical.

Without the movement of rajas, we can never transcend tamas. We learn to process the massively intense amount of spiritual energy that is present in each moment, and at first we are distracted and scattered and thrown back and forth between tamas and rajas. Then we learn to ride the ship, to yield and move with the flow in grace, and we touch sattvic states. Eventually, we rarely taste tamas, and we learn faster and faster to cultivate our rajas into sattva. We become balanced and whole again, our essential state, our Self, shines brighter then ever before. We meet our Self.

The recent universal shift in energy was from rajas to sattva I believe, that is how I am experiencing it.. so instead of being bombarded by rajas, we are becoming surronded by sattva.

Our journey is individual, but we all go through it, it is universal as well. Don't hold too tightly to anything, let it all flow through you and your experience, and as it does. Drop the judgement. Drop the false sense of control. Drop all the ideas of saving face, or what your face really is. Who you are is a constantly refreshed river, always new. Open wide and let pain and pleasure, highs and lows teach you, they burn off all that is no longer serving your journey and fll you with fresh love and light. Balance dilligence and receptivity, and you will learn the dance. Let the experience be your guide.

Laura Harrison is the founder of the Natural Yoga Method, and the director of Enlighten Yoga in Amsterdam, NY. She is a yoga instructor, life coach, vegan/raw chef, mom, nature lover, artist, and poet. For more information see EnlightenAmsterdam.com or LauraLovesTheUniverse.com or call her at 518-866-3621.

At Peace With the Unknown

At Peace with the Unknown

Laura Harrison



I am torn, broken down, tormented,

my pathway.. unrelented..

beaten into letting go,     of ideas   of knowing

..the wear and fatigue are showing

I cannot know how life will go.



Just pick a direction, and trust the flow
and know
          that if you listen to your heart

every single moment is your fresh start.

although we are constantly gushing

into a great unknown..

it isn't aimless, it isn't cruel-

in fact,    it's creating

a fairy-tale through you,    the story

of your purpose,

your bliss,

of all,

past lifetimes,

creating This.


Dive through your passion,
live your purpose,
be bold

color it with compassion,
Let go of the old

views
and
ways
 of life.

The unknown is alright, and its al that we know.

Following our bliss, we all learn as we go.

Learning Where to Put the Love

I learned a hard lesson, finally, or at least, I can see the answer, and can now apply my mindfulness to manifesting the solution.

Unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm and caring for other beings is a beautiful thing, and an awesome responsibility. Just like a Teacher needs to learn to give each student only what they are ready for, too much will overwhelm them, so too much a Lover understand that the full-force of Love is overwhelming. Being blunt, I have not only overwhelmed people, I have frightened them, shut them down and sent them running. All because I appreciated them too much.

People aren't used to receiving Love without attachment, most people don't know what this means, and their minds cannot fathom a love that is unselfish and okay with whatever reality may bring, even parting. They look for an agenda, or they think I must be insane. Or they don't love themselves, and can't see why I do and reject it and me. Its sad. But it is reality, and it is a crucial lesson for me that I am glad I am embracing. I pledged years ago to rise to each opportunity to express my love and appreciation in the moment I feel it, because life is unpredictable,and nothing is static- it is NOT a given that we will have people in our lives for more then a flash. I even tell strangers on the street how beautiful they are, or how much I appreciate their unique style. And I try to let my loved ones know my gratitude each time we meet and part. Part of my learning lately has been that I must be my Self completely, no matter what happens, the ego has to go and I am here to shine, love, serve, and play. Its not that I will hide my Love and Light, but that I will try to only express the bit each person can handle to them, and let the rest nourish me and pour out through my every glance, breath, and action. When will I remember that they are not the source of love! I know this... Its the urge to pay it back that is the problem, I must pay it FORWARD!!! Just like if we want to help someone, we must help them in the way they need to be helped, not the way that we prefer, we can only give someone as much love as they can handle, and maybe a little more, when someone's heart is ready to break wide open to receive more love... But we cannot give someone who can only drink a glass of water an endless waterfall when they are not prepared for its force, its raw intensity, its power.  Unconditional Love IS that strong. That's what my energy feels like.. When I don't hold it back or waste it, but practice Self-care and simple grounding techniques, and just BE ME naturally, its like the Niagara Falls of sensation, appreciation, inspiration, and love is flowing through me. I am BLESSED, I'm not complaining! But I am grateful I am finally learning consciously how to balance and channel that into this world in a way that is not like spraying people with fire hoses. Once people's vibrations rise or they acclimate to the intensity, they can thrive with that Love both flowing out of them, and back into them... Love is the most important nutriment that too many people are starving for.
May all beings find the Love in their own hearts, and fall in love with Life Itself, the Divine within ALL that is.

The Loneliness On The Spiritual Path, Finding Your Tribe, Happiness and Real Love

The Loneliness On The Spiritual Path, Finding Your Tribe, Happiness and Real Love NOVEMBER 2012 "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." ~ Dalai Lama

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Teresa

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'" ~Erich Fromm

"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could." ~Barbara de Angelis

"Normal" lifestyle according to American pop culture is based on the material level of life alone. It is devoid of genuine heartfelt variation, uniqueness, self-expression and real spirituality. It supports people being trapped in their own heads and traumatized and imprisoned with self-consciousness and the ego running rampant, comparing self to others constantly trying to rank and compete and fit in and appease. This is not heart-centered, authentic or as Jeff Brown calls it, Soul-centered, living. It is fake and negates deep honesty and authenticity, which then defies any real happiness, confidence, or fulfilment in living.

Living life in harmony with your inner truth leads to much deeper and realer fulfilment in life- it is discovering your life purpose and giving yourself to it; it is living a lifestyle that brings out your best, makes you feel your best and shine your brightest as much as possible. However, there is a price to pay for authenticity: all the people, foods, places, actions, thoughts, and habits that aren't harmonious with who you become at each stage of spiritual growth must be shed. Letting go of friends, ways of life, old ideas, can be VERY painful. And there is a time in between when you lost the old nouns and verbs that don't fit right or fulfil you anymore and when the new people, places, and things fill your life... and this time is usually a swirling cycle of bright and amazing experiences, and dark cold, lonely times when you wish you could find people and a society that you fit in with.

This time period is different for everyone, and this transitional space comes not just once, but every so often on the spiritual journey, as vibrations change, that which resonates harmoniously changes too. These times are very trying. Why do we have to go through this, as beings aiming to live positive and grateful lives? Devo Mahesvara.. the difficulty helps us to discard that which is no longer serving our good. It is the time for trial-and-error, a lot of learning, a lot of exploring what is meaningful and inspiring to you... and as you hold in your heart the vibrations you now embody, the energy of who you are and are becoming, as you live it and explore it.. you are attracting towards you the people and places and experiences that will nourish you. You are attracting your authentic life and your tribe.

Teacher Jeff Brown calls it a "soul pod" like a family of dolphins, connected by past lives, similar vibrations, and/or similar levels of consciousness. These are the people who "get" you, who view life in compatible ways, enjoy the sames sorts of things, disassociate from most of the same parts of conventional society as you. They become your brothers and sisters. They become soul-friends, and soul-mates, partners in crime, best friends, inspirations, support, mirrors, and they UPLIFT you, they do not DRAIN you.
I have had times of extreme loneliness, when I was learning to live an authentic lifestyle based on my own heart-compass, but I knew no one that I connected with. I was so sad, so confused, I thought there had to be something wrong with me, I mean, I wasn't like anyone else. I was happy with who I was except for the fact that I was extremely alone. So I developed a handy little eating disorder to deal with my sensitivity to energy and it was a horrible, painful cycle. Yoga slowly pulled me out of it and towards other beings as I continued on a heart-centered path. The loneliness pops up sometimes, especially I find that changing eating habits tends to lead to a feeling of disconnetion from others.. so becoming raw vegan from regular vegan made me feel much more alone and unalike anything "normal". I didn't want to be "normal", but we all want to have loved ones that love us and that we can love and feel part of... real family.


Another amazing side-effect of these periods of loneliness, I am discovering as I am coming into a new time of connection, is to learn greater and greater capacities for giving and receiving love. I am becoming extraordinarily open with my appreciation and adoration and love for the people who contribute to my world. This ability to appreciate SO thoroughly is directly connected to the pain suffered in times of loneliness.. If I wasn't THAT painfully lonely I would take this gratitude and love for granted or think nothing of it, or not even notice it well. It is in times of suffering that the heart is broken, and instead of letting it heal smaller and harder, like conventional wisdom would have us do, the yogi lets it heal wider, wide enough to swallow the sorrow. It breaks wide open and we let it heal large and open and more sensitive. And that is how we feel greater and greater love, joy, gratitude, satisfaction and fulfilment in life. All the things that were keeping our hearts small are broken through and transcended. Our capacity grows. Not just for love, but for intensity in general, for life in general, for joy, sorrow, peace, PRESENCE, our capacity to be fully present grows.

So even if you feel like you know no one anything like you, just keep folowing the things that make you happy, that uplift, inspire, enliven, the things that stoke your passion, your creativity, your fulfilment.. and you will find your tribe, your chosen family, and you will know you are loved and magnificent. You may have felt that way before, but the validation and the mirror of your beauty in the hearts of others you love and respect is a nourishment that we all need. And it shall come! Blessings!!!

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Trust

Trust

by Laura Harrison


How can I learn to trust myself
when I have stumbled so many times?

How can I learn to love myself after condemning myself for so many crimes?

But all the times that I have failed
I succeeded in some way
except for the times I ignored my knowing,
and deferred to what others did say.

Trust comes from letting go
from giving up
from being tired of trying to drink
from an empty cup.

We all need to feel loved,
so we mistakenly try to conform,
although no one truly ever wants,
 to embody the everyday norm.

So it sounds trite, but its true,
Be nobody but you

You don't have to try
to embody your vibe

Just lose yourself in the act of being alive

over
    
      and over
    
                and over again..

and trust will grow itself my friend.


Deep honesty is the only path,
and getting lost is the only math.

The compass is your own heart,
and every moment is the perfect one
in which to start.

January 2012 teaching: The Bravery to Bloom

 "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."   ~Anais
Nin


Yoga practices help us to clear away the debris that gets in the way of expressing our innermost and highest nature. It helps us to clear away all that is false to be
our true selves. Many of us, I daresay in the Western world especially, all of us, at one time or another struggle with our confidence or our self-image. For some of
us, that negative view is debilitating and robs us of all real joy in life. For some, our harsh self-view is the ultimate obstacle to freedom in life. There comes a
point when, as Rumi calls it, we reach, "self-hating fatigue", the point at which we cannot stand to be so filled with hate, anger, guilt, and sadness. This is the
point from which we give up clinging to our fear, and we are ready to blossom. We can give up the habits of negative self-talk, self-depreciating, passive-agressive
self destruction and finally begin to have compassion for our self as a living being.


Anyone can sit in self-pity and misery if it is their habit, but it takes true bravery to begin to care for ourselves. And once we do, we see that to care for oneself
is not selfish, but is the only way to care for others. When the cup of our heart is empty, we have nothing to give to others, we are not kind or compassionate. But
when the cup of our heart is full, that which overflows can be given to all around us, we are automatically kinder, more joyful, more helpful and patient. Being deeply
honest makes the world a better place by our mere presence. Following our heart conscience is the way to blossom and brighten the world. Our happiness lights the way
for those around us.


Building trust in your own heart-conscience by experience, you learn that you can withstand anything that life brings and that there is beauty to be found everywhere.



NO ROOM FOR FORM by RUMI





On the night when you cross the street
From your shop and your house
To the cemetery




You'll hear me hailing you from inside
The open grave, and you'll realize
How we've always been together.




I am the clear consciousness-core
Of your being, the same in
Ecstasy as in self-hating fatigue.




That night, when you escape your fear of snakebite
And all irritations with the ants, you'll hear
My familiar voice, see the candle being lit,
Smell the incense, the surprise meal fixed
By the lover inside all your other lovers. This heart tumult is my signal
to you igniting in the tomb.
So don't fuss with the shroud
And the graveyard dust.
Those get ripped open and washed away
In the music of our final meeting.

And don't look for me in human shape,
I am inside your looking. No room
For form with love this strong.

Beat the drum and let the poets speak.
This is the day of purification for those who
Are already mature and initiated into what love is.

No need to wait until we die!
There's more to want here than money
And being famous and bites of roasted meat.

Now, what shall we call this new sort of gazing house
That has opened in our town where people sit
Quietly and pour out their glancing
Like light, like answering?

'No room for form' by Jelaluddin Rumi page 138 'The 'Essential Rumi' translations by Coleman Barks. Harper Collins 1995