Tiny Person

Tiny person,
I love so much,
You move me to tears..

The way your tiny lips curl when you speak so intently and articulately,

Of building machines and trapping the cats and birthing teams of siblings..

Our particles, once joined, are never unaware of each other's presence,

And when your focus scatters in overstimulation and exhaustion, mine too shatters if I do not reach inside with all the strength I have and more..
And hold on..

You destroyed walls and initiated me into the boundless love of this entire universe..

I was never in the state of true love until you exploded my mortal heart and gave birth to the immortal soul of me,

And I can consciously teach you what you unknowingly did to me.

Not only do you heal me with your natural unbridled curiosity and perfection..

But as you reflect my unsavory habits back to me, you force me to face my weaknesses and ascend to greater authenticity and truth.

Sometimes I cry because our time goes so fast and I love you like I know how to breathe, and loving you sets me free.

You are my teacher as much as I am yours,

And I have always loved you,
I knew I must give birth to you,
And I knew you were with me from moment one,
I never was unaware of your powerful spirit within me.

My life would not be complete without you,
And though this isn't our first lifetime together,
100 more lifetimes together couldn't be enough to satisfy or douse the fire of my love for you.

You are in my heart in every moment.
Your smile lights the sky,
I cannot breathe until you have drawn a breath.
My heart will always ache for you,
I never enjoy when you must cry,
But I will hold you, and cry with you.

I will show you everything I have learned about being a limitless soul in a finite body,
How to revel in the delight of having senses,
How to love without fear,
How to mourn,
How to stay strong,
And the ways to balance form and freedom.

I will give you the keys to this realm,
Because you are the key to my heart,
And I worship the sacredness of your soul,
Tiny person,
Tiny blessed being,

My heart breaks every time we part,
And I will teach you how longing nourishes love too.
I cannot keep you from hurting, so instead I will show you everything and not divert you from truth with fantasy.

I will show you that the fabric of it all is truly love and curiosity.

You, tiny person, are a miracle.
I bow to you, great soul.
And all of my love surrounds you like the sky surrounds the earth but does not trap her or bind her in any way. You are everything, and just one precious diamond at once.

~ for Finn.

Freedom From Body Dysmorphia

Part of becoming free for me, a major part, was finding a way to have peace inside this body of mine. It has been a long process and it seems like it's becoming increasingly subtle... The most grueling aspects seem to be behind me..

Overcoming eating disorders, looking into my experience to discover that "feeling fat" was actually just energetic imbalance remedied by lifestyle, and finding a way to allow the external layer of my body stay harmonious with my internal ocean of spirit and heart were the major tasks. The latter is the topic of reflection in this article.

In my younger years I felt tomboyish and that I was never pretty or feminine externally, although inside I felt I truly was. This rift caused me a lot of suffering.. It's the same sort of suffering felt by transgendered people, or anyone caught in living a lie and not fully conscious of it's landscape or knowing of a way to fix it.

This false feeling of being boyish and never pretty enough led me to carry an image inside my head that was entirely distorted and different from my external appearance.

Body dysmorphia: when the internal feelings and image of self are not congruent with external reality.

For years looking to rid myself of the remnants of jilted self-image, incongruency and insecurity, I became very ascetic. I also sought to take the least from earth's resources as possible, so I used it as an excuse to deny myself a lot of luxuries.

I didn't use products in my hair, I didn't use any makeup, I didn't dye my hair, I only bought second-hand clothes (except for underwear), and a lot of these principles I still utilize, but now joyfully.

I made myself go without these things and it showed me what I didn't need to feel whole. It also showed me that which I did. All of my friends had colorful and beautifully-styled hair, and wore gorgeous make-up. I tortured myself, because how could I feel beautiful standing next to them?

At the time I didn't realize that I wasn't ugly or plain, that my essence was crying out to have an external expression in line with my internal beauty and sweetness.

I am thankful for that time of simple denial, though, because I learned that I don't need much. I don't need every fancy serum and cream and make-up item and I don't need a thousand products and I don't need to dye my hair. Most of my clothing is second-hand and I wouldn't have it any other way. I use very few make-up items, I use baking soda and vinegar to wash my hair (and it's so healthy!), and very little product, if any. I have learned that all I need is exactly what I need, no more, no less, to help me to feel expressed as a beautiful soul and woman.

Sometimes we hide a subtle layer of our wounds under a label or crutch though..

And mine was the length of my hair. I no longer had to question if I was feminine, I had pretty make-up, flattering clothing that I feel good in, and long hair. I always enjoyed the look of certain short styles but when I cut my hair I'd feel like I was tomboyish again.. I had a relapse of sorts.

Well, after having my hair long for a few years, I decided to chop it spontaneously. I felt empowered. Then a day later I felt butch. Then I felt frustrated and annoyed that I did this, again... But instead of bashing myself internally or letting the latent wound-residues arising consume me, I focused on cultivating happiness with what is. In front of me is a me, with short hair. I am a playful, wise, and sweet woman with a child-like jovial personality. I am loving, feminine, and kind. I have a swing in my hips when I walk and a dance-like way of moving.

I realized that old views were arising within me, remnants of scars surfacing, when I removed the crutch of long hair.

I realized that STILL, my inner perception of appearance was not connected to how I actually look. I realized that the silent, subtle image I carried of myself inside was tomboyish, plain, and chunky. I wasn't even fully aware of this until I had cut my hair. In fact, I realized that I was stuck in a transition, where, when my energy felt good and balanced, I had an updated internal self-image that was beautiful, bright, slender and feminine. When I felt worn-out or imbalanced, that old self-image of chunky, heavy, boyish, plain and frumpy "me" was in my mind.. So subtly, like a hologram, like a ghost or whisper, it was there, tainting my every moment.

I have since practiced gazing in the mirror and seeing myself objectively. I don't fixate on subtle imperfections, but focus on my beauty. I update my inner image to see the radiance of my eyes and smile, I realize the ways that my external form is reflecting inner light. I don't get stuck, I let myself keep updating. Change is the nature of reality, energy flows like a river, never stuck unless we ourselves dam it up with debris. But I accept where I am right now, see my beauty, and will keep letting my external appearance reflect my inner river of love-consciousness.

And I have discovered that when I chopped off all of that hair, I felt energetically lighter. I used to fixate on growing my hair longer and longer, to feel more feminine and worthy. Now I realize that while I want my hair long enough to pin up if I wish, I may not grow it super long, at least not right away. I discovered that when we are highly attuned to energy, we can feel all the energy contained in the hair and it is beneficial to free ourselves of it or only carry an amount that allows us to feel whole, harmonious with our truth, and free. It should never be a burden. I am exploring a whole new view of myself and will not rush back to the complacency and safety of long hair. I will fully acknowledge this experience and distill every bit of growth from it possible.

Over the years, through trial-and-error, I learned to keep my energy balanced and body strong, and mind relaxed most of the time, even under a decent amount of stress. Parenthood upped the ante an forced me to withstand higher and higher stress levels and remain conscious and avoid slipping into old, spastic patterns of behavior.

However, there is no end to how free we can become. We can keep finding subtle holding patterns, subtle conditioned beliefs that hold us back in many ways, and choose to release them.

We are light-beings.. Energy.. And we manifested this body. It reflects our congruency with personal authenticity and it reflects our gaps between our truth and action. It doesn't lie.

We are meant to find completely freedom and comfort within the earthly clothing of this body. We are the merging, the interface, of metaphysical energy (spirit) and physical. By seeking inhibition, wellness, and wholeness, we accomplish this mission. We free ourselves of the blockages and distractions and imprisoning ideas that block us just BEING.

Your uniqueness is who you are. Your passions and curiosities are meant to be explored and expressed. Your externals are meant to reflect your internal truths. All things congruent and harmonious, you are simply a prism through which formless Spirit flows into this world of form and creates, feels, plays, experiences and enjoys, through your body. Your body is the conduit of Spirit.

It is not easy work to get free, but it is worthwhile. You can hurt, and feel the raw aches and pains of the expansion of consciousness voluntarily, as well as the incredible peaks of unexplainable bliss and ecstasy that are also part of the path... Or you can roll around in the endless agony of trying to stay stuck and small and live a lie when the entire universe conspires to catalyze your fullest expansion.

Inner Image & Interaction

There is a view of ourselves that we unconsciously carry... Often derived from the labels we have identified with and our insecurities accrued over the years...

I believe that carrying an outdated or distorted inner image of oneself is the root of body dysmorphia (along with intense sensitivity to energy & no knowledge as to how to care for & balance one's energy field)... And that it is one of our greatest obstacles preventing us from stepping into the life of fulfillment and abundance that we deserve. If we see ourselves in a false and "ugly" way, we cannot see ourselves successful and happy, and keep ourselves trapped in a cycle of self-sabotage.

Made conscious we can update this inner image.. Which is crucial because a picture is worth a thousand words, and this inner view contains a weight, a tone, a whole way of relating to oneself and the world.

For example, for most of my life I saw myself as ugly, stocky, plain and tomboyish. Most people say I am none of these things. So I have been rehabbing my inner image for years, but most consciously and intently over the last couple months. I am seeing positive changes in the way I feel day-to-day.

I am cultivating what I know myself to be in the way I carry myself, dress, act and relate to others, and I take a few minutes each day to notice what I actually look like. I make the changes to my appearance necessary in order to keep a sense of rightness and congruency.. That my outer self reflects my heart and inner truth. And I notice what I actually look like and the difference between that and the standard/habitual image in my mind.

Typically we stare at and fixate on what we consider our flaws.. And all we do is torture ourselves with that practice. Take care of yourself, of course, but accept your uniqueness as well.. Focus on your beauty, your shine, your power, your spark..

It takes a while to update the mental picture we habitually carry of ourselves, but without doing so, we allow ourselves to manifest our entire life based on a version of ourselves craved out of our insecurities, fears and shame. This is a version of ourself that may never have materially existed, but because it exists within our mind, we create our life as that person.

Strive to update your inner face, see yourself for your best qualities. Wen you practice balanced self-care, you will feel good, and when you feel good internally, you will enjoy what you see externally. What we see is interpreted by the brain, after all.

Finally Seen

Old lady moon, won't you lend me your ear??

I'm dying,
I'm dying!
My old life's disappeared-


And I'll tell you the truth, I carry no fear...

I'm floating,
I'm floating.
Become atmosphere.

I spent my life knowing that I was just a star on ground,

I'm shining,
I'm shining.
But no one's around.

If nobody watches and you never feel found,

I'm beautiful,
beautiful!?
Does it still make a sound??


Now old lady moon, I never grew numb...

I'm vibrant,
I'm vibrant.
Refuse to succumb.


I danced and I flitted, and stayed true to me,

I'm happy,
I'm happy,
And totally free.

But sometimes is cry in my pillow at night,

I'm longing,
I'm longing,
To share this sweet light.

I'm seen from the outside and pieces are known,

I'm intricate,
Intricate.
Deeper than shown.


I'm a quiet kind of beauty not readily seen,

The unconscious,
Unconscious
Can't appreciate me.


I'm not living a life from the physical side,

I'm starlight,
Just starlight
On a physical ride.

I love my own magic and make my sun,

Independent,
Independent.
Life is my fun.

But old mother moon, I know that's it's natural to be paired,

Happiness,
Happiness.
Is More complete when it's shared.


But I couldn't dispense with myself to
Less worthy man,

Can't settle,
Won't settle,
For less than I am.

An equal of mine must be an extraordinary sight,

A diamond,
A diamond,
Radiates his own light.

And such an exceptional one must be rare to sure,

Brilliant
Sheer genius
& A heart that is pure.

----

Now grandmother moon I thought it'd take years,
But I felt him coming and pushed past my fears,
I purified my energy and cried many tears,
And all of a sudden it seems he's appeared.

----

So now grandmother moon you've revealed him to me,

Poetry,
Poetry,
Grateful eternally.

I began a new life and now he is here,

I've died to
Died to it
All's disappeared


Finally the life that I have is the one I create

I'm blooming
I'm flying
And no longer wait.
....


My life is my own and based on my soul

I'm honest
I'm honest
Refused to fit into the mold

And..

My intricate radiance isn't wasted on he

I'm treasured
I'm treasured
And finally seen

Never Settle

I want to get down on my hands and knees
and put my head to the earth
Crying happy tears,
Crying thank you, and please!!
For in all of my searching no man has seen my worth

But you

You do
-


For all I have given
I have never been seen
I've been sought, taken and forsaken
One too many times
And I refused to abide

I didn't make the rules to game
But I took the reigns
And sent them away
-I no longer wanted to play


Worthless sentiments
And condescending compliments
Walking on eggshells
Men with no honor
Patting me on the head
Empty heads, lights out,
Checked out, soul hidden behind a wall
Doesn't matter what that soul looks like
If they choose to bury it behind brick and mortar
In a basement, dingy dark and stairs steep
It's they who choose to sleep
Refuse to keep
Integrity

They made me sick
They made me tired
But I forced myself at the worst of times
To never abandon my desire..
For what I deserve

I may have stayed longer than I should've
But I did know how to let it go

I fought with everything to preserve
My sanctity
My faith
In my own heart
And in life

And I have won
-

So to you all
I say

When you are the most sick and tired,
When you no longer wish to play

Walk away.
And hold on...

Not to the users, the abusers
Weak-willed & hypocritical
Living in hypotheticals
Taking
Draining you

Love is not love
That suffocates

Do not negate
Your value
For a half-manifestation
Close but no cigar
You've come too far
In your life
To resign to tolerate
Horrible treatment
Don't settle.

Walk away
And hold on.

Never settle.

I'd rather sleep alone
Than with a poser or a prick
People pretending to be so conscious
Afraid to look in the mirror
They make me sick

Don't waste your time
With one who refuses to grow
And you had better face the mirror
Face the music
Do the work
Walk your talk

Strive to uphold your integrity
Live your life, follow your inspirations
And don't worry

And never settle..
And your day will come..

One
Worthy
Of
Your love.

Where You Long To Be

Do you listen to my poem
Of rapture
And love
And think me naive?

But have you heard
How much
and far
I have been torn apart!?

Maturity is not marked
In smart, cynical
Remarks
In disdain
Or hardness..

I am not vain,
I crawled across hot coals
And travelled endlessly
Scoured out my insides
To stop hating myself
And find peace

I am not sheltered
I have known pain
The secret is that those who have suffered most
Can feel the most release

Don't cling to the shroud of your melancholy
Keep it as a souvenir on your shelf
Don't let it dampen your enjoyment
Keep it small
Just a token
To recall
That this is all scared and fleeting
Let your feelings be spoken
Or they will pass away
Never throw away
The preciousness of a day

Some are high, some are gray
Some are like reggae
Some blues
Pay your dues
And then stop paying
Always keep playing

And don't think yourself
Ever to be above falling in love

It's not the weak who love fully
But the strong..
The flimsy turn their backs and run
The brave stand and face the wave
And let the deluge swallow and transform
Transcend
Mere physical form

You are better than your spiteful jealousy
Don't let your words savor of such bitter wounds
Why do you lash out at those who have gone
Where you long to be??

Don't shoot the messenger
Stop whining
Stop letting scars be defining
And walk
Somewhere
Any direction
Away from where it's misery to be
As long as it's not toxic
And it somehow sets you free
any direction may take you
Where you long to be

I Choose Loving You

For you
I will go to the edges of my mind
And let my ego show itself
In resistance
And I will wrestle it down and force it out

For you
In fact I see you being a light by which I better see
What is and isn't me

So for you
I will go to war inside my mind
When it produces an assault on our love
As minds tend to do with the familiar
And love will be made safe

I choose loving you
Because the work I will do
To keep it flourishing
Is the very same work I would do with out
To keep evolving anyhow
And sharing my soul & beauty & joy
With the one man I have ever found
That can appreciate every detail of me
Is something sacred and worthy
And deserves nurturing & protecting

Revealed By The Light Of the Moon

Pretty lady, full moon
Keeping me awake
Intensity, immensity,
That I can hardly take!
Was it your design,
To leave behind,
New feelings in your wake?


Mysteries
Can be misery
Commiserate,
Or far better
To Correlate.
Seeing Patterns liberates,
Consciousness Consecrates,
Understanding provides relief.


Full moon, mother,
You bring powerful sleepless nights,
And fight your wisdom,
I will not.


I am not in the practice of fighting the tides...
And full moon lady I will not hide.


Wake me out of a sound night's sleep,
Reminding me of promises that I shall keep,
Shining light on the places dark and deep,
Moon mother stir my soul.


Pretty lady, full moon
Silent sage,
Inspire, conspire,
Sweet dewey light.
What you reveal,
Day can no longer conceal,
Tell me it was always your plan!?


Once we look inside..
We can no longer hide..
From what is revealed by the light of the moon.

Come To Me

I feel you even though I don't know you
Like a whisper is the breeze
Concealed by more conscious forces
With which I've been introduced
But you're just as true

I feel your existence and know you will make an entrance
Though I don't know how or when
But I know perhaps where
And that you will enter

Like the sliver of the moon
I feel you
And I cannot sleep
With such brilliance about
I feel you growing near
Like the moon grows full
I have no doubt
In your existence
I offer no resistance

Several have had the chance
To be where you will be
But I have a strong feeling that
You will be the one that doesn't fail me

There comes a time
When we meet our match
And I am woman enough to let you chase me
And if you are worthy, I'll let you catch
When I fall
If you are worthy, you will catch me

I'm happy without you
But I feel you everyday, everywhere
And I can already imagine
The feeling, the way, your awe-inflicted stare

you will peruse me
Convince me
Make me fall
Make me see

God knows I will not settle
And I will not stand
For less than I deserve
Find me, take my hand

Be brave and bold
Unafraid of deep love
Or at least man enough
To tell me your fears as well as that of which you dream

If you do not feel breathlessly
That I am everything
You could wish for or want
Then you are not he

If you do not lose yourself
When you look in my eyes
If you do not fall hopelessly
Enchantingly effervescently
Incandescently
In love
Please
Do not apply
You cannot be the guy

You must love me unimaginably
Epically
Beyond all fears
Ecstatically
Feel that I am the most fascinating gorgeous graceful flower
Upon the face of this earth
Or else this is not what we deserve
We are all of that worth

And I promise
O sir, of unbelievable charm
Your precious heart
In my hands
Won't come to harm

You must challenge me
Allow me to grow
Let your endless love and appreciation show
And remain a free man
Of his own independent choices and strength
And I will love you unfathomably
Intimately and at length
You and I will be as free people
Living their truth as they see
And choosing
In freedom
Each other tenderly
I will appreciate you
Treat you as a king
Tell you only truth
Reflect to you your greatness
And give you everything
I have to give
Mind, body and soul
My truth
Will be
Loving you boundlessly
My life is my spiritual journey
And my spiritual journey
Is to love
Above all else
to Love


I don't know you yet
We haven't met
But I feel you already
Wherever you are
Come to me

And Then the Moment Passes

I feel so much,

Feelings layered so richly

I cannot differentiate

I cannot anticipate

Like an ocean 

With diverse currents

Rocking me with a gentle rhythm

But with force

Of course, 

I want to scream,

Because it's so much.

It's not bad,

It's not pain,

But so much,

It bears a tinge of agony.

It's just so much

I want to put my soul to it

Just to touch

The face of God emerging

Everywhere...

In this submerging,

Pushing my head underneath

Waters I no longer struggle against

I ride the high

Of love

I need no one to make me 

fall in love 

when I know 

my home is within 

My own hearts glow

No where to fall 

After all.

Shining smiling love light

Warm

And complete

If we don't ride the wave

While it's high

Say goodbye 

Because you are heading for another shore 

don't ignore your passion

Don't try and play it cool

Keep in fashion

With the numb masses..

Let yourself be what 

Inner urgency presses forth

Let it be, Let it out, 

Ecstasy, cast off the doubt,

Shout your love,

Praise the beauty you see,

Because everything is divine,

My chapel is this planet 

The moment is now 

And my worship is to bow 

to the Soul

Within all

My place is to hold the mirror 

To show & praise divinity

Sacred, playful, miraculous

Rustic and refined 

Show through very face

And place

I find

Let your life be redefined

By your heart-truth

Your freedom 

becomes living proof

Fate reroutes 

when we miss the turn

When our faith 

in the inner voice fails 

it patiently arises again 

and again 

Enticing us to believe

Never judging

Never less than loving

Sweet, smiling love-light

Melting us out 

of our futile fight

Of the flow

But THIS is the moment

So give praise when you feel it arise

Do not swallow it under pride

Too proud to bow at the feet of a stranger

To tell them they are a gem

Hold a mirror up to them.

To tell them of their good

Is to thank God

And to bless them

Support them

Is to know you are

Both

Holy beings

Never be so imprisoned

That you give up your chance

To be Divinity loving Divinity

In every form

Never conform for fear

Because one single entity 

Chose to manifest multiplicity

For a reason--

Shine!!

This life is your cathedral 

And we are here 

To assist each other 

In awakening

Some throw rocks

Others make love

Some give smiles

Hold doors

Offer compliments

Share sentiments 

Our sentience

Proves

Our purpose

And no moment will ever come again

Offer what arises

From the well-spring of your heart

Don't deny

Don't edit

Don't filter

Don't be afraid to fly

Each moment designed

To be born, grow

Pass away and die

So when the moment passes

Another will arise

But you'll never have the same chance twice

Stay open 

Heart, mind and eyes

Unafraid

To be the voice

Of the Divine

Show You The Way

Why fight the flow

When you can let go

And grow

Let life show

You the way...

Through your own passion

Don't ration

Your positivity

Creativity

Joy

Love-light

It's endlessly

In supply 

Don't deny

Your potential 

Don't make

Your light

Confidential

Let go

Let it glow

Let love show

You the way..

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

~ follow your passion, love and inner-rightness.. Not always easy, but no excuses, because it's why you exist on earth!!!! 

Blessings for freedom and joy for all beings! Namaste! 

My Sacred Love

Everything we do in each day is an act of worship because life is sacred. The spiritual and the mundane are not separate whatsoever. By bringing our full consciousness and heart to each moment, we bring sacredness from the invisible into the visible world of form. This poem is about how my love for my man, and cherishing the radiance of his soul, is a form of worship for me. I recognize the Divinity within all that is... So that is the place from which we connect.




~MY SACRED LOVE~

I want to build an altar
Underneath you
Scatter rose petals at your feet
I want to light incense
Close my eyes
And feel the entire universe within me

I want to set you
on my altar
Like a statue
Not because I am putting you on a pedestal
Or endeavor to restrict you
But because
I feel the Divine in you
So clearly
You remind me
It's within me
And everything
You inspire me
In your energy
To recall
That I too
Exist omnisciently

It's the fabric of life,
Divinity,
But some of us
Cover it over
with heaps of rags
and blankets
But you,
My sweet love,
Expose the sacred fabric
Of your soul
To the light, to the air
And to all the elements
Displaying your love-light for all to see
Selflessly sharing God with us all

I want to touch my head to the ground
By your feet
In humble gratitude
To a universe so sweet
As to,
Against all odds,
Bring us together
To allow me to be your lover

You move me
In a way
Not found
Everyday
Once
In
A
Lifetime

It comes
Here I come
To once again do puja
I know God is real
When I'm near you

And I become God's omniscience
When I lose myself in love with you

But let me light some incense
And touch the temple of your soul
And once again
Merge
Remember
And be renewed
By the freshness
Of your energy

Our love
My love for you
This shared journey
Has been enough to prove
That God exists
And I see Him
Everywhere I look
But never have I felt it
Quite a magnificently
As I do when I gaze upon you

That is why
When I love you
I am also worshipping the Divine
My intention
In Touching you
In Kissing you
In Cooking for you
In Listening to you
In Loving you
In the life we create together
Is to honor and celebrate
To commemorate
To nurture
The sacredness within you
With all of the sacredness within me.

When Divinity Makes Love To Divinity

Never could have known
Until I was shown
By experience

But two souls
Perfectly cleansed
Perfectly attuned
Different
Independent
But one
Completely one,
Can discover God
Inside each other

Divinity
Is the fabric
Of reality
And in your heart
I know this to be true
I knew God
Before I knew you
But never did I know
How I could grow
With another
With a lover
Making love
Not to just a body
(A future corpse)
But to my soul
Sacred union
Of all that is masculine
All that's female
In the eyes,
The tongues
The touches
Of lovers
Who know
That God is love-consciousness
And who pour
Their entire souls
Into each others bodies

Like taking two cups
Of water
And pouring them
Into a third bowl

We remain whole
We are individual sparks
Putting our flames together
In the loving ark
Of two bodies
Together
Sacred meditation
Merging
Revealing
That which is the source of all healing

Finding our aims are one:
shining love-light into the dark
Losing ourselves in each moment
Loving life itself

And in our love-play
God becomes a little more real
Divinity revealed
You inside me
Intentionally
Remembering
The sacredness
Of all
And
Losing the sense
Of our separateness
Our forms become one
The reunion of all that is
The entire universe whole
In each kiss
Nothing but love and delight
Energy
Light

But no one understands
Until their time comes
And they know
From their own
Experiences
What it is when divinity
Makes love to divinity

Two crystals
Reflecting dancing rainbows
Of love and pure delight
Melting individuality
And choosing
To be one

God is in everything everywhere
And can choose
To inhabit the individual forms
Or merge two
Of those forms into
One..
Not halves..
But Two souls joining
Completely
Seamlessly
Losing themselves
In love and joy

Reverent honoring
Of the divinity in each other
God worshipping God
as

Sacred Lover

When Divinity makes love
To Divinity

Merging

I believe in 1+1=2
I remain me
And you remain you
But devote ourselves
To the nurturing
Of this love
That has been revealed
As our truth

The proof
Of miracles
Existing
Exists
In our kiss..

Without improbable
Unstoppable
Synchronistic
Majestic
Grace

Our first meeting
Never
Could've taken place

-

Reminisce
With me love
Heaven is not found above
But inside
And in the union of us

-
In the faces
The places
The lovers
The losses
The pain
The clarity gained

In the hopes
And sorrows
The promising tomorrows
The path of my past was whispering you

You...

-
I criticized with no malice
The people whose palace
was built
On believing that they were
walking halves
Never whole
Always Alone
Mourning an empty throne
And though I don't condone
That way
Because we are the whole
And wholeness minus wholeness
Still wholeness remains
The value of one or all remains
the same

We are each whole,
You and I
Found it on our own
Each a perfect reflection
Of the universe
Diverse
Microcosmic macrocosms
Radiant
Nothing but light and joy
Love and delight
Trusting our insight..

But now
I understand
How one could see
The divinity
Of the merging of two souls,
Meant to be,
As halves
Reuniting

I divine female
And you the male
Together
We create the entire cosmos
I melt:
Out of one body,
Inhabiting two,
And none,
And everything in this universe,
All in one

And your life and peace
Are as dear to me
As my own
Your joy
Is my joy
A perfect reflection
Of each other's light
Two consciousnesses
Collaborating
In the effort
Of living happy and free
In complete flow
With reality

We are nothing
But everything,
But the entire universe,
In two bodies
Joined as one

A sacred
Unified
Field of energy
Two souls
Two pieces of the universe
Identical,
But diverse
Attracted like breath
To the lungs
Light to the eye
It is clear
In you
That all is divine
All I see is you and me
I see you see me
And in you I see
Pure sacredness
Divinity

If each of us alone
Has the power
To move mountains
Cause fountains
Of
Love to flow
What can we know
What can we reveal
With two hearts
Two minds
And all this love we feel?
What can we create
With two hearts free of hate?

You will uplift millions
And maybe this
Is soul-work for two..
Who feel like one..

Who accept only truth
From self and each other
Sacred lovers
The entire universe loving itself
Love itself loving love itself

Just a magnification
Of the brightest of lights
Through two prisms
Perfectly corresponding
Naturally responding
A unified field of pure love
Two bodies that can form one
Upon will
And will as they will
Because the force of love
is too strong
to remain apart
for very long..

So I think
Now it's shown
My math was
A bit wrong
As it's become known
That
1+1=1

On our own
We are whole
But together
We are a bigger wholeness
And more greatness
Is possible
With two hearts
Two minds
Two bodies
Two souls
Who know
That they are the light of the sun
And are also one.

Her Equal

The love She has is cavernous
And amazing
It is filled with the starry night skies
And still room for oceans
For laughter
For travel

This love She has is sacred
And filled with awe
It is vintage
And sharp
Fresh
And always present

This love She has is so much
It's too much
For those that cannot bear
A strong woman
A woman who knows her worth
A woman who doesn't need the man
But wants him nonetheless
A woman who cannot be controlled
Or hoodwinked
But who will surrender all of her heart
At the throne of the man she deems worthy

But this one has not yet come
And he had better

This woman needs him not to
Give her a child
Home
Or things
Although she may allow him to
But she needs to love him

But he must know his own heart
And fearlessly seek the truth
As she does
And love her
In a way that turns his soul inside out

He must be a man
But sweet and tender with her
Make love to her madly and almost violently
But somehow with a gentleness
Because he loves every inch of her flesh like the goddess' temple
Sees her spirit in her eyes, smile
And hears it in her words
Never harms her
Weep from his soul if he does
With remorse for harming something so precious and ethereal

Their meeting must be alchemical
Seamless connection on all levels
Intellect, heart, body, and soul
He must love her for her sacred depth
And for her innocent wonderment
And pure unabashed celebration of the simplest delights in life
Maybe because he loves these things too
But has not the delicate words by which to capture it
She weaves them like lace
With a smile untroubled by it's eons of past lives
Radiant with timeless knowing and infinite love

He must dance inside his heart at
How she sings as she cooks
Sways as she walks
Dances in the rain
Must feel everything beautiful with her hands
And her wise eyes, like a girl,
Fullness of presence,
Lapping up life like a kitten with cream
Her Pure and complete joy in the experience of life
Must move him to his deepest core
And even if he is quiet
Must evoke the love as vast as the starry night skies within him


She like the sparrow will not allow
For anything less then this
Caliber of man to hold her
Anything less than this
Truest connection
To become more than just
A passing flicker
In the film of her life

Because she knows herself
And nothing can stop her from
Her glorious outcomes
Except allowing herself to once again forget her worth by lying in the wrong man's arms..

She will never do this
Because she now can feel the secret charge
Within each being
The pulls, the repulsions, between them,
And she knows just what level of contact is called for by this

And only the one that pulls her in like gravity holds us to the earth,
The one that cannot resist her,
Cannot forget her,
Cannot let her pass by,
Will not forfeit his opportunity to win her heart
Because he knows she is more than everything he ever wanted
And there is no one else
Once he meets her,
Again,
He knows his life will never be the same after her

He, who knows his heart and doesn't fear hers
He, who is infinitely strong
And can speak her language
Brave enough to remove his armor
And love her as she loves him
He, so awe-inspiring inside and out
He may call her his own
He alone is her equal
And may have her fullest light and love for himself
Mind, body, heart and soul

A Time To Be Still

Thoughts deepen
Focus quickens
Silent earth, Snowed upon
I know how you feel

I am not sad,
I am still.
I am whole but resting in a place of quiet on the edge of a massive potential storm
Potential tropical paradise

High pressure
Of cold air
Cutting through the silliness
Inviting inward resting
Coiled snake awaiting enough warmth to begin the ascent

Not without desire
But elegantly soaking in the stew of this moment
Nestled within itself

Can't you feel what you feel?
Can't you tell what is real?
No?!

So I suppose
Those that know
Are rarer than I knew

Even though,
we all feel it
For most only the dormant soul knows
And as for me
I can see
Everything
In one breath
All is contained

I can see your future
In our first days
But can you walk into it
Without fear?
Can you resist blaming me for knowing you better than you do?
Your boldness disappears
When reality holds up a mirror
I am the mirror and if you don't like what you see it is not me you have to blame

Shame that more don't commune with reality

This moment is slow
And deep and eternal
Rest before the road
Pulls me along
Once again

The art is in learning how to be still when it is time for stillness
How to be silly when it is time for silliness
How to be present more than you reminisce
How to dream a future so vividly that your imaginings form a shining rope of thought
By which you pull it into becoming real.

You Manifest what you feel
But if you do not guide what you feel
What you will find
Won't be what you desire but what you most fear

Truth above all else
But in order to hear
Once must learn to be still



Sent from my iPhone

Sacred Longing

This is much different than my usual format.. Glad to do something new and different. ;) as the inspiration flows..
----------------------




Sacred
Secret
Longing
Breathing
Ebbing
Flowing
Unclear
Somehow knowing
Time is showing
Unknown made known
One stands alone
Never alone

Sacred
Jeweled net
Connection
Glowing
Invisible
Only felt
In the heart
It's showing

Sacred
Secret
Longing
Not so hidden
Path less ridden
More work
Less disgust
That left unused
Turns to rust

Sacred
Natural
Longing
Merging
Connection
Of two souls
One love
Wanting
More than can
Be discovered
By just one
But by two
Hearts
Who
Just
Purely love
Each
Other
For everything
And
For no
Other
Reason
Than
Because.

Light of Love

The light is all it takes to awake me from the night,

Be it the moon, or the screen of my phone, or sunrise.

It finds my eyes, it washes away the sleep,

I've even awoken to the glow of my own heart in-love
more than once.

But that faded into the fabric of my being because promises were given that he couldn't keep.

----

On the edge of my seat endless eons every single day,

Waiting but not stagnant I cannot allow myself to doubt what I feel.

What we feel is summoning itself towards us,

The more passionately I feel it the faster and harder it comes along.

I will not stop.
I'll sing this song.
I don't care that I've been alone so long.
After years of waking up I can't be so wrong.
I can't be making this up, he'll come along.


I don't always understand the dance,
But I dance on.

I curl my hair, put red lipstick on,

But I do it because it feels pure, it makes me happy, I sing my song,

I never knew I had this much joy and peace within me for way too long.

I don't look so stunning because I need a man,

I know more than a few that'd gladly hold my hand.

I am stunning, because that's me,
And living as anything less would be fighting reality.

And though my moon,
She craves her sun,
My female essence desires male,
I want just one.
I won't settle for less,
I don't want more.
I'm not desperate, nor am I a whore.

Many a good man has vied for my heart
Tried for my heart
But I know before we start its over
Not there
Nor ever shall be
No matter how good on paper,
 not truth
Not reality

And of the ones that I did love
Too quickly the boat capsized
They saw my light
I saw it in their eyes
But
When the chase was over
They'd run and hide
My HONESTY became sharply real
against the pattern of their inner lies
And the pain of the difference
Was more than they could deny
They left without even saying goodbye
They left the shell of their integrity behind


This level of beauty
Of honesty
Tears a less ready heart to smithereens
It takes many years
To build the strength
To OWN your facts without restraint


So come to me lover
Set fire to my inner moon
Melt my soul
And I'll make you room.

I'll love you like
The moon and stars
Move poets to tears
Move ocean's tide
And if you stay strong
Don't run and hide
And prove yourself true
That your passion abides
I'll follow you
With my every day
Like the entire universe loving you
In every way
Like life itself
touching you
Tenderly
You have to be yourself before you come to me
Own your truth and live in reality

Find me
I want to see you see me
See the spark
Feel the gravity
You come get me
Prove your love
Through every glance
Through actions too
And I'll love you endlessly
Unselfishly and true
I'll give you a love so pure
It's only seen by very few
Received by fewer
Nothing more sacred
Nothing truer

-----

I live on
As if you see me
Because I love what it is to be
Who I am
Like a source of light
Drawing eyes naturally without a fight

But I won't settle
I won't sell my soul
Years of thinking
'close' was enough have taken a toll
And now I want
No one but you
I don't know where you'll come from
But when you do

I know my life
As I have known
Was just preparing me
for an even brighter road

So on the edge of my seat endless eons everyday

I love every moment of this agony
Waiting for you to find me
But it's tearing me from inside
And I won't run and hide

I'll curl my hair, put my red lipstick on
I refuse to be anything less than me
And now it's dawn
Everyday
So full and deep
I've got evolution to fulfill so I can't sleep
I have a promise to the universe to keep

You'll come along
Unknown when
I'll be singing my song
I won't pretend
That I don't want you
No games
But
No haste
You have to prove you love me beyond the chase
And when you do
I'll know it's you
Divinity
Loving divinity
In the forms of my man and lady

Release You

I'm not less because you were inconsistent..
I'm not less because you treated me like a whore,
When I gave you respect, devotion, love, honesty, my body, my heart, my soul
and you wanted MORE.


I still have my integrity.
You have a broken image of what you are
and what you THINK you should be.

I have to lose all the pieces of everything.
I have to sit in this intense space.
This immense place,
of deep discomfort,
And I can handle it.

I would've given you the devotion of all my days,
The love of a good woman shouldn't be taken for granted.
You chased me, defaced me, erased me and in your heart,
 fearful resistance supplanted,
All the feelings you declared for me.

All the nightmares of your reality,
You can't erase,
They will follow you wherever you go,
Wherever you call home,
And you chose to face them all alone.

I am not made less because you had to maintain a false sense of superiority,
Just to avoid your inner feelings of inferiority,
You have shown your priorities,
And I see that honesty is NOT ranking highly.

Maybe if I were less,
 you'd still be around,
Because my fearless adherence to the truth wouldn't intimidate you,
You would be able to control me,
Sedate yourself,
 and I wouldn't call you out on it because I'd be less free..

But I'm not and my disgust is not because of me,
And I won't waste my breath blaming it on you and your inconsistency,
I'm only bothered that it takes more than a week to release the love I had for you from deep within me.

I'm not doubting my beauty
I'm not doubting my grace
I'm not wishing you'd come back to me,
Don't even show me your shameful face.

My mind knows you were childish,
And my heart wants no less than a REAL love
to breathe deep into my lungs.
I'm just waiting for my body to release you,
And heal the wounds leveled by your lying tongue.
Your hands never lied, you were cold and CRUEL,
And the judgement in your voice LASHING at ME
 but stemming from within YOU.

You were part of my story,
But you burned down the glory,
You pillaged the beautiful place in which you were held,
You decimated the love you beheld,
You destroyed your throne,
Now you're on your own,
And your place
In my heart
Became as an object
A catalyst
Not a man
No longer priceless
But a dime a dozen

So enjoy your material wasteland,
And I'll hear from you when you realized how tragically you played your hand
Guarantee it'll be too late
You chose your fate
And with this I release you.
God bless you in all you do.
I deserve much better than you.

What I Learned Today About Life & God and Stuff

How much can we grow in one day? Exponentially, especially on the days we feel ourselves kicking and screaming against the grain. Throw your hands up in the fight against uncontrollable elements of reality and the unknown. Go with feeling. Strive, force, fight to root yourself in love, NO MATTER WHAT!

I did that today, and here is some of the gems I discovered, or the new depth and shine I saw in these perennial wisdoms:

Exfoliation for the soul: The Divine is the fabric of the universe. The strife, the misery, the struggle, the suffering of the world and in your life is like the abrasion of rough material to slough off the tired shell of ignorance, resistance, self-imposed limitations and to enable to know yourself as your truth.. To strengthen you to live your passion and purpose, and to empower you to live love.

Love All Just As it is: Love no matter what is who we are. Everything is radiant loving conscious energy.. We are here to learn to love ourselves and the world and all in it in our perennial imperfection and luscious creative majesty, trial and error, fragility and all. Bodies that will someday fall away and decay like overripe plums falling from the tree, souls that shine through eyes and all the magic and misery of the interfacing of an energy being with a physical form.

BOUNDARIES: Just because our role is to generate equal love for self, creation and all life, doesn't mean we need to subject ourselves to disrespect or abuse. In fact setting healthy boundaries is a form of love.. Self-love and also a lesson to the who is informed of the boundary.

LOVE: Everything, EVERYTHING is an opportunity for this work.. Discovering wisdom, truth, health and LOVE! Omniscient, omnipresent, unconditional and vast love that is what we are made of..

Validation via MIRRORING: we shouldn't seek approval from others and we don't need to justify our truth!!!!!! We don't need to justify self-care!!!!! BUT we all get worn and maladjusted and askew, and keeping positive people in your life and allowing each other to lean a little as needed strengthens both... We are all mirrors of each other's goodness.. By living our love and presence an truth, we present others with a reflection of their greatness and beauty. And we all can stand to hear that our best is more than enough, that we are loved, that we are good.. Not that we don't know, but when we are so tired an harassed by the limitations of this body-soul interface, we blossom from this soul-nourishing reminder.

WE ARE LIMITLESS SOULS (in limited bodies): limitless souls get pissed off when having to face their limitations due to time, space and the needs of the physical form.. We can stretch, bend and transcend many of these limits but at the end of the day, we cannot break them all.. Not today. Accept this. Smile, laugh. Love.

DO EVERYTHING WITH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop doing pointless tasks...
And start doing the everyday chores with love... Dishes and cooking..

I decided SO WHAT if most of the few short years I have with my son are spent making food and art.. Mostly food... Extremely nourishing food...?? So what?! If our memories are of our time in the kitchen, what better way to teach my son how to be a man: nourishing his body and those of others, pouring love into his tasks and thus his life, never to half-ass what he does, to take care of self and others, and to share heartfelt conversation with his loved ones, equally exchanging talking and listening, both done from the heart. Why fight reality? Why not make it a sacred experience!!

EVERYTHING IS SACRED!

Don't stop smiling! Be yourself at all costs!!!!

I will not suppress my joy, my love, my awareness, or my feminine style and grace. I will not suppress my wonderment, my girly excitement, my sweetness, or my undying urge to pour loving consciousness into the open hearts of any who cross my path, and to specifically treasure those who walk this life path with me for some time.

Never give up, no matter how rough. If the unknown is threatening, investigate, know what you can. Demystify. Inform yourself. And let go of what can't be googled, like what will happen next week. Be excited. Feel what you feel. But LIVE NOW! LOVE NOW!

And that's most of it.. That's just one day.. A pretty strange and isolated yet interconnected one.

Oh yes And we need to strive to be independent, know ourselves, take responsibility for our own health and happiness.. But God manifests Miracles through us all... So talk to Him with your feelings (no words needed, just feel and dedicate) but talk to the beings I. Your life.. They are God as well, and you are God as well, and so is the stereo and your car and the sky and the dragonfly and the neighbor and the rats and dogs and everything else that is. We are are like cells in the Divine body, all a part of the net of All That Is.

Love and blessings~

Sent from my iPhone