Light of Love

The light is all it takes to awake me from the night,

Be it the moon, or the screen of my phone, or sunrise.

It finds my eyes, it washes away the sleep,

I've even awoken to the glow of my own heart in-love
more than once.

But that faded into the fabric of my being because promises were given that he couldn't keep.

----

On the edge of my seat endless eons every single day,

Waiting but not stagnant I cannot allow myself to doubt what I feel.

What we feel is summoning itself towards us,

The more passionately I feel it the faster and harder it comes along.

I will not stop.
I'll sing this song.
I don't care that I've been alone so long.
After years of waking up I can't be so wrong.
I can't be making this up, he'll come along.


I don't always understand the dance,
But I dance on.

I curl my hair, put red lipstick on,

But I do it because it feels pure, it makes me happy, I sing my song,

I never knew I had this much joy and peace within me for way too long.

I don't look so stunning because I need a man,

I know more than a few that'd gladly hold my hand.

I am stunning, because that's me,
And living as anything less would be fighting reality.

And though my moon,
She craves her sun,
My female essence desires male,
I want just one.
I won't settle for less,
I don't want more.
I'm not desperate, nor am I a whore.

Many a good man has vied for my heart
Tried for my heart
But I know before we start its over
Not there
Nor ever shall be
No matter how good on paper,
 not truth
Not reality

And of the ones that I did love
Too quickly the boat capsized
They saw my light
I saw it in their eyes
But
When the chase was over
They'd run and hide
My HONESTY became sharply real
against the pattern of their inner lies
And the pain of the difference
Was more than they could deny
They left without even saying goodbye
They left the shell of their integrity behind


This level of beauty
Of honesty
Tears a less ready heart to smithereens
It takes many years
To build the strength
To OWN your facts without restraint


So come to me lover
Set fire to my inner moon
Melt my soul
And I'll make you room.

I'll love you like
The moon and stars
Move poets to tears
Move ocean's tide
And if you stay strong
Don't run and hide
And prove yourself true
That your passion abides
I'll follow you
With my every day
Like the entire universe loving you
In every way
Like life itself
touching you
Tenderly
You have to be yourself before you come to me
Own your truth and live in reality

Find me
I want to see you see me
See the spark
Feel the gravity
You come get me
Prove your love
Through every glance
Through actions too
And I'll love you endlessly
Unselfishly and true
I'll give you a love so pure
It's only seen by very few
Received by fewer
Nothing more sacred
Nothing truer

-----

I live on
As if you see me
Because I love what it is to be
Who I am
Like a source of light
Drawing eyes naturally without a fight

But I won't settle
I won't sell my soul
Years of thinking
'close' was enough have taken a toll
And now I want
No one but you
I don't know where you'll come from
But when you do

I know my life
As I have known
Was just preparing me
for an even brighter road

So on the edge of my seat endless eons everyday

I love every moment of this agony
Waiting for you to find me
But it's tearing me from inside
And I won't run and hide

I'll curl my hair, put my red lipstick on
I refuse to be anything less than me
And now it's dawn
Everyday
So full and deep
I've got evolution to fulfill so I can't sleep
I have a promise to the universe to keep

You'll come along
Unknown when
I'll be singing my song
I won't pretend
That I don't want you
No games
But
No haste
You have to prove you love me beyond the chase
And when you do
I'll know it's you
Divinity
Loving divinity
In the forms of my man and lady

Adventure Out Of Your Comfort Zone to Stand Firmly in Your Strength

Life works best when we love ourselves.

That truth used to slap me in the face when I chronically had low self-esteem.. (ages 7-25)..

..but it is true.. if it angers you to read that, reflect for a moment on why.. is it because you have a hard time loving yourself?.... and why??.....

My mom gave up her career in her early twenties to take care of my dad, who wasn't bed-ridden, but not fully independent anyways. She lived a hard, sheltered, and lonely childhood... had a few years of freedom, and then met daddy, and loved him with her whole heart, and gave her whole life to caring for him. But she denied herself full independence. She didn't learn to drive. She didn't go on adventures. She stayed sheltered. With daddy being sick, this all has become apparent to me.. my mom's nervousness and self-consciousness makes this brilliant and charming woman scared or anxious whenever she leaves the house, worried about what others think of her and feeling wierd about trusting herself.. no freedom. I remember when I used to be that way.. its such constriction of the life energy, it's such debilitating anxiousness.. and we all have this at moments, or have battled with it more then we have ever admitted.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.  Anais Nin


It makes me thank God that I was presented the opportunities to adventure outside of my comfort zone, and that I TOOK them! We all have opportunites presented to us.. but we don't allow ourselves to rise to them.. I'm too tired, I can't do that, that's OK, no... all the excuses to stay tightly closed in our buds, we refuse to blossom until the self-hating fatigue, until the tragedy, until the natural disaster, that FORCES us to open to life and start saying YES!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.   Anais Nin

The new and unfamiliar is uncomfortable, but is an inherent experience in learning.. if we stop learning, growing, or changing, we stagnate, and to stagnate is to begin dying. I think all the adventures, as I call them, that I have experienced over the years.

Currently, I have made a giant hospital feel like my home, instead of clinging fearfully to the known areas, I explored, and made a new mental map.. met new wonderful people, developed new understanding, and reinforced and grew my own sense of strength, independence, and confidence. This has helped me to have the fearlessness needed to hear and follow my own inner-rightness. In following inner-rightness (or heart, or intuition, or inner-truth, as I also refer to it interchangably as) I feel my connection to the Whole very strongly. It is amazing, how developing a strong, but unselfish, sense of independence, is the greatest link to connect to oneness.

Be brave, explore your world. Try new things. Ask questions. Make eye contact. Don't let yourself freeze up. Take that trip alone, learn that new skill, visit, offer, dance, live, love, love, love!

This is your life.

Foster your own strength and indepence, it's like connecting your energetic roots to the earth.. strong legs, healthy base chakra, so that the rest of your being can bloom! Stand tall, breathe, feel, respond intuitively, don't waste time overthinking. Respond from your inner-rightness.

Get out of your comfot zone for a few minutes a day to grow your self-esteem. You will start to experience the greatest miracles and blessings in your world.

Once you become strong in you life, you love yourself.. you are in love with your Self and your life.. and you won't make the mistake of compromising your Self and Truth to pander for love.. you will have the strength and delight that breathes patience into your heart to give and receive love freely and not cling, but await greater and greater levels of love and intimacy. They are coming. Magic is happening. 

with Great Love.. Laura

1 + 1 = 2 ... We aren't halves, but we can be complimentary colors

Many people think that they need another person to complete them. I think this is a well-intentioned, but slightly unhealthy way of viewing the kind of connection most, if not all, of us long for.

As long as we look outside ourselves, towards our material circumstances or other people, for our satisfaction, we won't have lasting peace. The Buddha discovered that human beings automatically become dissatisfied regardless of their external circumstances. He realized that our happiness has to come from remaining present and dynamic. As soon as we look to something to remain exactly the same, we are certain to become disappointed because no one and nothing remains constant. It is as simple as that.

I do think the urge to find a partner is very strong and leads to beautiful experiences, but it will never be fruitful if we are looking to become completed by the other being. I do believe in rare and amazing connections between people and that these are very sacred and special, but we cannot look toward the future and demand that they shine unchanging forever. Instead we have to honor that these connections may grow together and apart as we both move on. Connections disconnect and new ones appear. Some connections are re-connected down the road as paths converge again, only to diverge when they diverge. That is what is so special about a genuine connection that lasts for many decades, to truly have that soul connection last that long requires the ability to remain honest and present as individuals, and a lot of grace and luck as well.

So if we aren't two halves that fix each other, can we be two wholes that blossom incredibly in each others' presence? Like complementary colors, side by side, each being completely ourselves, uncompromised, we can be our happiest, healthiest, and brightest with each other.

As soon as that ceases to be so, as soon as we begin to compromise our path, our individuality, in an unhealthy way, we get mixed up. When you mix complementary colors they become muddy and bland and disappear from their true brilliance. Sadly, out of obligatory courtesy or desire to conform or fear of the unknown, too many people settle to be muddy and unsatisfied, married or not. Marriage has little to do with happiness, by the way, happiness in a relationship comes from the honesty both show themselves and each other, when both people can be honestly themselves and honest with themselves and each other, and are joyous to be together, then nothing else is needed- no approval from others, no jewelry or certificate or tax break or labels.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Yoga De-mystified

Because yoga roots are wound in esoteric writings and a richly textured cultural background, there is a sort of mystery to it, especially when carried into the Western world.

The truth is that the essence of yoga can be de-mystified and gently unwrapped from its original cultural package to reveal shining truths about the heart of what it is to be a human.

Yoga practices and exercises are designed, at the most fundamental level, to reveal to us who and what we are, beyond all of the layers of accumulated baggage. They cut right through all false concepts of self and self-consciousness and reveal the shining heart of our individual identity. They not only help us to blossom fully as an individual, but they connect us to the universal layer of our selves as well, the layer at which everything is completely interconnected.

So while on the surface we cleanse our bodies and minds- tone, stretch, realign our bodies; balance, focus, and calm our minds; investigate our psyche; we also connect to the deepest layer of our existence on both individual and universal levels. This enhances our peace, health, happiness, creativity, social skills, success, sense of connection and compassion, feelings of satisfaction and leads us to a state of wholeness.

Yoga in essence describes that state of balanced wholeness, living in our fullest positive potential. Yoga can be found in any moment, in any experience, in any activity. Yoga is a state of being that is natural to every human being, across all external differences. Yoga is at heart what it is to be human.

Live Like You Mean It

So many people, too many people, are so paralyzed by self-consciousness, worrying what others will think of them, or how they will view them. Its sucks us dry of all joy and confidence to obsessively worry about our compliance to social norms and cultural fads.

It is purposeful and important to consider the direct and indirect impacts of our actions on other beings, such as our purchases, words and actions. However, there is a line that doesn't need to be crossed. If we creatively express ourselves, if we dress how we want to dress, style our hair the way we like, if we have fulfilling hobbies like making or listening to music, drawing, singing, dancing, or any other non-harmful activity or form of self-expression, why should we overanalyze what others will think of us? That is where we kill the very essenc of what makes us unique individuals.

Why wouldn't we all just be carbon copies if we were meant to conform to one set standard or worldview? The purpose, in my opinion, of being individuals, is to become the fullest expression of this unique vessel of universal consciousness. If we are each one drop of water in the ocean of the Universe, then we should fully experience be that drop of water with all of our heart and soul. If we are going to live this brief life then why not live it fully? Why hold back from non-harmful expression and experiences? Why stay locked in one corner of potential because we think that we can't or shouldn't or don't deserve to live boldly and joyfully?

Everything that exists has an equal right to happiness, freedom from suffering, and the experience of its own consciousness. That includes you. It is a delusion to go too far in one direction- one's own happiness over all others or the hypothetical happiness of others over one's own. The truth is that when we are happy in our hearts, truly and deeply, we radiate the warmth and light of that joy and it infects all around us. This is not a lofty ideal or metaphor. This has been proven directly in the experience of so many people since time began. This is a fact in my own direct experience, it may as well be scientific. If we supress our oen happiness, even if we think we are doing it for others, we are going to end up causing unhappiness, stagnancy, or in the least discomfort. Afterall, 85% of our communication is through body language. We can feel each other's moods, read each other's feelings and energy, see it in faces and eyes, and even posture. And our interpretation is so subconscious that most people don't even know they are doing it.

So yet again, the case for living like you mean it, living in a way that brings about deepest joy, inspiration, creativity and confidence is the highest path. It is the highest path in the sense that it not only brings more joy into the world through our own experience, but also spreads joy to others.

When we oppress ourselves it is easy to spit in disgust or distrust at ideas of reaching for the stars. However, if you aren't going to bother to follow your own inspiration and greatest potential, what is the point or purpose of living? Why use this precious life halfway? Life is too short and beautiful to waste!! Live fully! Live vividly! The world truly awaits your unique contribution...  3~