Love, But Not From Where You Wanted It

I cannot say enough to how much yoga practice works.. I mean the whole package, the whole process.. It is true, and proven by science, that you change the chemistry and map of your brain by what you focus on... so if you practice switching your thoughts and focus daily...

from

dissatisfaction

to

gratitude...

from

life being random and cruel

to

seeing the purposeful connections from one moment to the next...

AND
from

jealousy and fear that you won't be loved

to

feeling the unselfish love in your own heart and flowing to you...

So often we fixate on where we want the love to come from, we specify, and we are dissappointed because our ardent hope is dashed. This seems to make great sense, and it is natural.. we will feel the let down.. but if we open ourselves... you witness the fact that love isn't coming from where you wanted it, and keep your heart wide open..

I often say to myself.. "Oh well.. I am still surrounded by love, and more love is coming, just not where I wanted it to, but even greater love is coming, and will come, from the most perfect places."  I have great faith in this. Not blind faith, or frightened faith, but tried-and-true faith that comes from experiencing it over and over..

Relationships, friendships, strangers, momentary interactions and connections that last for years..

I don't try to force it or fake it.. even if you love someone and feel a soul connection, it doesn't mean its going to be a relationship.. The connection will be mutual and FULL, there will be no question or doubts when it will be such.. but the love and the discovery we experience in any soul connection.. be it a flash of eye contact and a smile from the soul in passing on the street or in the hall... a friendship.. or a romantic relationship... is ALL purposeful and helps us to blossom into our full beauty. We have to be honest with what the connection feels like..

and don't fight it or try to shape it..

because it is all purposeful and perfect,
just as it unfolds!

And all the love we need for our most magnificent unfolding into the fullness of our life-purpose and greatest fulfilment is here, and is coming, and will always come...

just at the right moment..

but not necessarily in the form or from where we wanted it.

Sometimes we need to feel alone, or handle things on our own, even when we don't want to, but it helps build independence, strength, understanding, insight, clarity and peace. But at just the right time, love comes.. and when it comes to finding a partner.. I want it more then anyone.. but I will not force it, fight it, or fake it. It WILL come, and when it does, it will be worth every false alarm, heart-break, and lonely moment.

I look at each day as an adventure.. and I feel that even in a tragedy, there can be a strong sense of inner rightness.. and again, I believe it because I feel it in my own life. I am writing this in the hospital, with my father, who is pretty sick, but doing so well in the circumstances. I have accepted that reality, and I am holding the space with vibrant love and peace, because I feel SO MUCH rightness.. that I am in the right place and this is inevitable. I am in harmony with the Universe/Reality/God, whatever you want to name it as, I am in harmony, inner rightness is the indicator.. and we all have this ability, as human beings.

And TRUST in your resilience..

And trust that your life story is unfolding..

if you can be true to your heart,

everything you ever wanted may not come,

but your every dream can come true..

it wil just be BETTER then you could've planned it yourself..

remember all the times that you've called someone that said they just picked up the phone to call you..
or you 'randomly', spontaneously end up somewhere, and bump into a friend or meet someone new that resonates with your heart and uplifts you..

..that is the stuff that builds faith in the fact that life is filled with magic, beauty, it IS a vinyasa, a purposeful arrangement to encourage us and provide us everything for our blossoming into greatness and fullness of individual potential and purpose.

Believe THAT, remember how many times tiny miracles like those have happened, and bigger ones as well, and let it keep you strong.. and know..

love is coming, it is everywhere, it is here, it is within you.. and if you open your heart, open your heart, OPEN YOUR HEART, and realize, it MAY not be coming from where you want it to, but it IS coming, and where it does come from will be perfect.. And love gets better and better and better each time.. the bigger the heart aches you've felt, the deeper the future joys will be.

Blessings!  Namaste!!

Circular Path Home

Circular Path Home
by Laura Harrison

Spiraling, Spiraling onward,
full circle doesn't leave you at square one.

The ebbs and flows and cycles of creation and dissoution,

The spiral path leads us even deeper, closer to the wholeness that we seek

You ARE rediscovering who you always were, and that you are who you wished to be.

You are exploring uncharted realms of consciousness,
in a free-floating, open-sea roam,

With every turn, lost and found,
bringing you around,
in an endless circular path home.

The Purpose of Suffering.. or at least one of the positive purposes it serves

What I have seen in my life, coming into sharper and sharper focus, is that fact that suffering has many positive purposes. Granted, if we all always suffered severely, we would probably just want to die and give up on this whole physical plane thing, but suffering comes and goes in cycles like anything else.

Generally, suffering comes from resistance, fear, and destructive/loss cycles of life... times when we lose something or someone, or close a chapter to our life story. One chapter closes so that another can begin, though, we must always remember that...


What I have seen though, at least as a healer of sorts, is that every single way I have ever suffered has given me a connection to another being years later.. my struggle that I overcame in the past (sometimes distant past, sometimes maybe a week ago!) is the very same way in which this other person is now caught, suffering, struggling, and I now have the direct experience and thus humility and insights, to in some way be of service.

This has happened many times over in my world. It gives me more peace when I go through difficult times, since I know that I am not alone. I cease to feel sorry for myself, or at least get out of that self-pity pool much quicker, perhaps just a fast dip! I can see the purposeful patterns emerging in my lifetime.. and I cannot pretend to know exactly what shall be, but as my intuition sharpens I feel it happening from an earlier and earlier point.

It is hard to roll with difficult experiences with grace.. it takes enormous trust, faith, not in the conventional sense so much as faith in your own inner strength and ability to persevere. Trusting that life brings about purposeful experiences and a purposeful arrangement helps give us something to hold on to. This concept is called "vinyasa" in Sanskrit- purposeful arrangement, to place in a special way, or a cycle with phases, such as the seasons or moon cycles.

 Another concept that ties into this is synchronicity, which, once you are open to, gives you a LOT of inspiration, joy, and strength... Synchronicity is seeing everything that happens as purposeful, and thinking that coincidences don't blindly exist, but instead are very meaningful. A way to view it is as if everything that happens in your life is part of a conversation with the universe (or a higher power or however you perceive it to work in your worldview)... everything is purposeful, even your suffering.. and when you see yourself heal, move on happier then ever and more full of life, you can easily start to feel this way. Then when you in turn, quite naturally, see the opportunity arise to use that experience to help ease another's suffering, it can be powerfully encouraging. Then when you find another difficult transition, confidence has grown, it becomes easier and easier.

Life is not bleak... it can be bliss... we just have to adjust and attune our perceptions to an increasingly larger and larger view to see it....

Blessings!  ~<3, laura