Natural Bhakti: The Path of Love

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."~Mother Teresa

I realized something tonight. I have known this, but not like I know this now. I was born for the explicit purpose of losing myself in love in all possible directions. I don't think this is unique, I actually think it is the meaning of the Bhakti path of yoga, to which many, many people are drawn. But Bhakti for a lot of people has to do with a particular representation of the Divine Energy, or particular practices, or even places. For me, Bhakti is life itself. And I am so deeply and humbly grateful to see this with new, clearer eyes.

We cannot have back any of our past moments, so when we receive an insight that is a sting, a slap, a hard and painful realization that we are somehow more awake now then we previously were, it is best to give ourselves completely to integrating that wisdom at all costs. I can never have back those moments with my son when I let fatigue, hunger, or the urge to do something override the importance of stopping for thirty seconds to make better eye contact. Or to pick him up at those random times, even if I only have the strength to hold him for a few moments.
I don't want to forget this ever again. Being present has increasing significance for me each day. I have also been embracing over these last six years, increasing ease and directness in expressing love, gratitude, appreciation, recognition of beauty, and supportiveness. And as of tonight I am renewed and my passion is deeper. Its like a whole layer of junk was cleared. We are here to be ourselves completely, our pure Self, to live our life purpose with everything we have in us... Not to ever deny positive inspiration and true passion, but to be our highest and greatest expression of ourselves at all costs. That is real freedom.
The hardest part by far is not the bravery it takes to be unique, in my case, but the loneliness of still knowing so few people around my age that are on the same level of love and freedom. Freedom scares the shit out of people, especially the opposite sex apparently.
I made a vow as a teenager, and I WON'T break it: that no matter how many people reject me, no matter how many times my heart is broken, I WILL NOT compromise the truth of my heart. I will not stop giving myself fully in love. I won't be foolish, and I won't cling to relationship for fear of being alone. On the contrary, I will be equally brave going into and coming out of love, or in saying no when the connection isn't there. I may have slowed down over the years, but I am fixing that. I will listen to  the Truth of my heart completely, and I will trust myself and my own resilience. I won't judge the next by the previous. Always present and fresh.
Bhakti isn't just about romantic love, but that is a significant component for me: they gave me the spiritual name Radha for a reason I suppose, and the male-female dynamic nourishes me and complements me well, when it is vibrant and healthy. And it is requiring a great deal of patience to wait for an equal, for a genuine connection. I'm not going to waste someone's time, I know if there's a connection in a few moments, and then beyond that its typically not long before it sorts itself out as friendship or going in other directions.  And I know the moment it shatters and the connections atrophy and pull apart, and it has completely run it's course. We ALL know these things, whether we listen or not is different.
But it isn't just romantic love, that is only one piece. I exist to love and to delight in everything, be fascinated and in love with all of my life. To LOSE myself, lose my edges and borders in ALL forms of Love... As a mother, this is the most sacred and profound relationship I know... As a friend, as family... And to lose myself in love with life itself, and with my life, with each moment, with Nature, in acts of kindness, passion, and creativity, with beauty; to lose myself in love with love..
And not only to feel that love, but to express it, to nourish the world by putting that Love into every action. EVERY action... Every moment, every moment.. My aim is to be present to remember my delight and grace and to let my entire life be a painting of that love and joy. I want not one moment or being or place to pass me without benefiting consciously or unconsciously from my loving energy. We have to remember that feeling love is important, but let our choices and actions express that love is crucial, or else the loop isn't complete and the love isn't whole.
I feel this energy and this love, SO IMMENSE, and the other major struggle has been in learning how to channel it. Sadly, most people aren't used to receiving much if any unconditional love. It is intense, and can crack a heart wide open, it is a love that can make you cry.. I know that I cry more from loving so much then from anything else.. But each release makes room for a larger capacity by which to give and receive love and happiness. I recognize as a teacher I have to learn not to give other beings more then they are ready for, and at the same time, we all can stand to go in a little overhead now and again. And I refuse to hide my light, because only those who can consciously benefit from my energy will be drawn to me, otherwise the benefits will all be subtle and unconscious. It feels so wrong that it isn't considered "normal" for people to express love and consideration to strangers- in times of peace its viewed as crazy, in times of disaster it is considered heroic.. why can't it just be a darshan, a worldview, a way of life?
I am nothing but love, playful fascination, and gratitude. This is often said in yoga philosophy. And I have felt this before. But this is a new, deeper degree of direct experience- it is not theory but my actual experience that speaks these words. I can't tell you the gratitude that sparks in me, or the honor it is, so  much that it drives me to uphold my most genuine best at all times.
We all have rough moments, but I can't help but shake them off faster, and to feel some level of joy in connection with the profundity of even painful experiences.. Delight in their purposefulness and poetic beauty. I can rejoice in the silver lining. And increasingly, where ten years ago it was something of a peak experience that happened a few times a year, it is now a daily experience of love, gratitude, and inner rightness so strong that I am flooded, immersed, in beauty and true and complete loving happiness, almost washed away..
I exist to lose myself in all forms of love, gratitude, and beauty. I am sweetness and love. And I will trust my heart, and keep opening wider and wider to love, until nothing else remains but love, grateful, generous, and sweet. In humble gratitude and curiosity of the immense potential in store... LOVE!!  Laura

How to Gracefully Survive Transformations (should you ever need some ideas)

I cannot say when I experienced my first personal revolution.. when I decided to follow my heart instead of my head, or my parents, or what is considered the "normal", "logical", or "proper" path... We all come to crossroads in life, when we feel how heavy the weight of our choices are, that everything will never be the same again based on our decisions, or when we experience the death of a loved one or loss of a relationship or even the loss of a plan or dream that meant everything to us. Life will never be the same again...

This ties in with our teaching theme for April.. Healing, letting-go and growing in the experience of loss...

Even if death is not the loss we are experiencing, any time a chapter or era in our lives comes to a close, it is a small death. It is the "death before we die" that Rumi speaks of. Who we thought we were is no longer who we are. Life is different now. Our future has changed, our possibilities are very different. We are not that person that lived in that reality, we are somehow new and different.

This can lead to a feeling of disintegration, literally dis-integration. In time we re-integrate, we become grounded again, in our new, present circumstances. When the ground shifts beneath the feet, it sends you down to your knees. There is a deep sense of surrender. Just like the weakest moments spent before vomiting, we tend to be broken open, not physically so much as emotionally. Completely surrendered to what will happen.
             'Okay!!!! Please!!!!!! Just get it over with, let is go, c'mon.... Oh I can't take this!!!!!!'

The suffering is the greatest when we resist or fight it, so the first thing to realize is that no amount of denial or refusal is going to change reality in this moment. We are better off opening ourselves to it fully, resist nothing.... which means feeling the raw, searing pain of our circumstance.

 In the case of a break-up, for example- there is the sting of embarassment, of betrayal, of rejection; the punched-in-the-gut feeling of love that is not returned or the grimy, clinging feeling of the desperate grasping of one who wants you to be in love with them when you are not, anger, frustration, the shattering of something you thought would last longer or always be there, and more depending on the specific dynamic you are experiencing. This is not easy stuff, not for the faint of heart... but it is real. We have all or will all experience heartbreak in various forms at some time or another. Most of us will have our hearts broken in various ways numerous times during the course of our lifetime.

After accepting the reality, we can let ourselves have permission to feel, space to process, time to mourn. I like to give myself 3 whole days all to myself to feel whatever I need to feel, including self-pity, agony, sadness, depression, desperation, whatever. I cry out loud, I lay all the right music to get me sad or indignant or clear and happy again. I sing my heart out, I cry some more, I walk outside, I sleep a lot.. whatever I need. Then, day by day after that, I turn my focus deeper and deeper into the rest of my life- instead of clinging to what happened and what isn't anymore, I focus on what is and pour myself into that.

Remember that you are not the first person to feel what you feel, you are joining almost every being on the planet in one way or another. We all have loss, pain, sadness and fear at sometime or another. In this way we can develop our compassion and empathy. Suffering makes us love more.. as our heart breaks, it splits wide open, and as long as we embrace and not deny our experience, it heals wider then ever, we are capable of greater and greater love and compassion. Whenever I go through heartbreaks and difficult times, I wish for a heart big enough to swallow all this pain and love ever more then before.

So after a few days of heavy-duty processing and accepting, we can work on moving forward. Pour youself into your life as it is. Do good things for others, because it makes one feel so much better. We are at our best when we unselfishly help others. Take care of yourself too, mind, body and heart. Find a balance between doing good for others/being with others, doing your work, and taking care of yourself and being alone. Time alone is the space that allows us to come back to our Self. It is as if we are a foam cushion and life in the busy world is the ass sitting on us, we need to have time alone to bounce back into our shape, or else we will get carried away from who we are by life's little distractions.

"I won't let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me anymore"  ~ Jack White

We tend to let ourselves get molded into other shapes by our relationships with others, not just romantically but also by friends, family, co-workers. We pick up positive and neagtive habits. The ones that inspire us and bring us good health or help us to be more creative, fulfilled or compassion we can keep, they are us. The ones that drag us and those around us down, like gossiping, complaining, judging, excessive cursing, impatience, smoking.. these habits can go, they cannot be who we are at our essence, because they make us feel mean, depressed, or seperated from our iner greatness or health. So whenever we go through a transformation in life, we can reflect on what habits we have that are ready to leave us- the ones that keeps us seperated from our happiness, health, creativity and confidence.... and we can build stronger connections to the qualities and habits we have that are healthful, helpful, inspiring and being out our confidence and very best. Journalling this is helpful.. since we are a new person coming through a transition, clarifying to ourself who this new one is can be very grounding and clarifying, helping the transitional chaos to begin to subside.

Try not to dwell on the past... make peace knowing that you (and others) do the best they understand how to do in each moment given their awareness and inner experience. Don't worry too far ahead. Try to take things one day and one moment at a time. Your life will take a new shape and that shape will become clear to you very soon.

*****Remember to practice yoga and or meditation, during the most stressful times, try to practice everyday to help you process the energy. I know that this is CRUCIAL, absolutely MANDITORY for me if I wish to stay together as much as possible and suffer the least I can manage during difficult times. My reactions to others are more harsh when I do not do this.

Taking care of your body's needs, likewise, makes the process easier. If your mental and emotional state is precarious and tender, you can at least keep a comfortable, healthy body. Make sure to get extra sleep whenever possible; eat clean, vegan foods, as much organic and raw as possible; drink plenty of pure water, kombucha, herbal teas, and minimal to no coffee, alcohol or other intoxicants that will pollute your body and cloud your experience.

Give yourself completely to the experience, and trust that it will all work out for the highest and greatest good of all involved. Trust in the unfolding of reality, in the benevolence of the universe. If you send positive energy out, positive energy will come back to you, so keep your chin up, your mind open and your hopes high ( with no hard expectations!!). You have survived thus far so you shall survive this. One basic rule is that everything is in a state of constant change in life, so know that this will change, will not last forever.. and believe that life will get better then ever. Believe it and it will, as long as your mind is open to flow with reality as it unfolds. Good luck and blessings!

with <3, laura

Expand into Nature + Walk Until Your Mind Shuts Up

There is a monstrous difference in our energy when we are indoors versus being outdoors in nature. Even if you don't think of urban or suburban sidewalks as 'nature', being outside period invites our energy to return to its natural expansive state.

The Yoga Spanadakarika calls the state of self-consciousness and ignorance we typically live in a "constriction of shakti", or life energy. When we are in a state of yoga, or harmony, our shakti is expansive, we are unbound. It makes perfect sense to describe it this way: if you watch your experience, when you enter inside from the outdoors, even more noticeably when you enter a public place with chaotic energy, such as a mall, and feel your energy.  When you are anxious or uncomfortable in any way, watch your energy, the sensations you experience. Feel how your body tightens up, draws in towards the center, tenses. Our creativity is restrained, our attitude is not as positive, our confidence is often retreated within itself.  When we are feeling whole and harmonious, we tend to feel open, light, free, inspired, creative, bold, literally expansive. When we go outside, we can feel this shift, from the walls and ceilings constricting our energy to the buoyant lightness, freedom as we unfurl and merge with the sky. This is perhaps a very poetically subjective way to state the experience, but try it for yourself when you are in a sensitive state of awareness.


Being stuck in our thoughts is another form of constriction of shakti. As we withdraw into our own heads, we withdraw from our connection to the world and beings around us. As we become more openly aware of internal and external at once, more present, we expand once again to a more natural state and frequency of our energy. Walking briskly outdoors, while consciously feeling posture, breath, air, and drinking in the scenery with your eyes. Every time you notice that you are participating in thinking and the inner conversation, as soon as you are aware, come back to even just a moment of taking in the scenery with your heart and senses wide open, only space, no thoughts. You can't push the thinking out, but you can get used to not paying attention to it unless its functional. This allows you to tune your attention to a different wavelength- the wavelength of being present. After you walk a while and practice this, you will find more and more space in between the thoughts pervading your mind. You will feel less constricted, less congested, less cluttered and flustered, and instead calmer, more focused, more peaceful, energized and grateful.  It depends on how long your mind needs to settle in, but 20-60 minutes is best.

Touching nature is always beneficial for our state of mental and physical health. Try to make some sort of contact everyday, with fresh air, sunshine, movement outdoors, and walk everyday if you can. Walking is the greatest natural anti-depressant. Whenever you feel stressed, just get outside and walk until your mind shuts up.

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann


Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

To Be Leaned On Makes Us Stronger

I realize as I am blessed by the love and respect of others when they choose to lean on me or share with me during difficult times. It reminds me of what I believe is a Sarah MacLaughlin song "Prayer of St. Francis" (which I imagine comes from the actual prayer of St. Francis). It is so beautiful and so true.. "To understand is to be understood"...


That which we want to receive we have to give to others- love, patience, understanding, compassion, generosity... And when we are leaned on, it makes us stronger. When we give we get. When we receive, it is natural to pay it forward. The light, the glow, only grows. There is no shortage of goodness, love, kindness- the more it is given the more it expands, spreads, and arises expansively from the deepest center of our being.

In humble gratitude and deep loving-kindness towards all life... Namaste.

Out of Our Heads and Into the Moment

It is astonishing how much suffering we cause ourselves by tripping over the hypothetical situations in our own minds. We often take things personally that have absolutely nothing to do with us. We hold on to it, spin a tale, make drama, react to the stress, and later find out that it was all just in our own minds.

Example: I left a lot of dishes in the sink when I left last night, (which is not typical for me at all) and when my roommate didn't answer my texts this morning my head fabricated all sorts of garbage, such as "she's angry at me", and all the way to, "maybe I left a burner on and the house exploded". At this stage in the game, I witnessed those thoughts and didn't start to panic and blow up her phone. Which is good, because she was actually at a very high-stress business meeting on her day off. What a foolish thing the human mind is.

We do this same torturous action to ourselves over and over. Everything is personal. Really, though, is it?? Even when people direct anger towards us in an otherwise personal way, we have to realize that their view is colored by an entire lifetime of actions, reactions, history and whatever mind-garbage was floating through their mind clouding their view at the time.

It amazes me sometimes how the average person can even drive a car without crashing into everything... with all that clutter and hypothetical drama threatening their view in every moment!!

According to Eastern philosophy, the way we label this part of our self that is so selfish, easily-threatened and deluded, is the "ego", or "small-self" or "self" with a lowercase s. The "Self", the "highest Self", or "big-mind" in Buddhism denote the part of us that is interconnected and whole, at one and at peace with Reality and the entire Universe. It is the part of us that knows our mind is sometimes and maybe quite frequently ridiculous.

Practicing meditation and yoga poses helps us to get in the habit of connecting with the expansive, Universal side of ourselves, and helps us to witness the ego in all of its insanity. The Universal Self is the sane part of each of us. The more we practice, the more deeply we connect and then we build a new way of viewing the world that encourages our greatest potential and saves us from surrendering to unneeded stress created by the funny functioning of the human mind. This thing should come with an owner's manual.

January 2012 teaching: The Bravery to Bloom

 "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."   ~Anais
Nin


Yoga practices help us to clear away the debris that gets in the way of expressing our innermost and highest nature. It helps us to clear away all that is false to be
our true selves. Many of us, I daresay in the Western world especially, all of us, at one time or another struggle with our confidence or our self-image. For some of
us, that negative view is debilitating and robs us of all real joy in life. For some, our harsh self-view is the ultimate obstacle to freedom in life. There comes a
point when, as Rumi calls it, we reach, "self-hating fatigue", the point at which we cannot stand to be so filled with hate, anger, guilt, and sadness. This is the
point from which we give up clinging to our fear, and we are ready to blossom. We can give up the habits of negative self-talk, self-depreciating, passive-agressive
self destruction and finally begin to have compassion for our self as a living being.


Anyone can sit in self-pity and misery if it is their habit, but it takes true bravery to begin to care for ourselves. And once we do, we see that to care for oneself
is not selfish, but is the only way to care for others. When the cup of our heart is empty, we have nothing to give to others, we are not kind or compassionate. But
when the cup of our heart is full, that which overflows can be given to all around us, we are automatically kinder, more joyful, more helpful and patient. Being deeply
honest makes the world a better place by our mere presence. Following our heart conscience is the way to blossom and brighten the world. Our happiness lights the way
for those around us.


Building trust in your own heart-conscience by experience, you learn that you can withstand anything that life brings and that there is beauty to be found everywhere.



NO ROOM FOR FORM by RUMI





On the night when you cross the street
From your shop and your house
To the cemetery




You'll hear me hailing you from inside
The open grave, and you'll realize
How we've always been together.




I am the clear consciousness-core
Of your being, the same in
Ecstasy as in self-hating fatigue.




That night, when you escape your fear of snakebite
And all irritations with the ants, you'll hear
My familiar voice, see the candle being lit,
Smell the incense, the surprise meal fixed
By the lover inside all your other lovers. This heart tumult is my signal
to you igniting in the tomb.
So don't fuss with the shroud
And the graveyard dust.
Those get ripped open and washed away
In the music of our final meeting.

And don't look for me in human shape,
I am inside your looking. No room
For form with love this strong.

Beat the drum and let the poets speak.
This is the day of purification for those who
Are already mature and initiated into what love is.

No need to wait until we die!
There's more to want here than money
And being famous and bites of roasted meat.

Now, what shall we call this new sort of gazing house
That has opened in our town where people sit
Quietly and pour out their glancing
Like light, like answering?

'No room for form' by Jelaluddin Rumi page 138 'The 'Essential Rumi' translations by Coleman Barks. Harper Collins 1995

Love demands us to start fresh

A man (or woman), can never step into the same river twice. Both are constantly changing. It is never the same river, and we are never the same. Always changing, we keep evolving through our experiences. We can develop unconsciously by developing habits through conditioning or we can develop consciously through our awareness and choices.

To think of each other as solid entities and sources of happiness kills love. To each be who they are moment to moment, and feel the light of love in the sharing of spcae and time is the real gift. But we cannot take this for granted. It requires honesty with ourselves, not just each other. It requires openess to be maintained through practice.

To a great extent, labelling love and trying to disect it for rational understanding does little for the world. To open oneself to feel love naturally without judgement or boundaries is pure bliss, a connection to the Divine in our own hearts. Love is such ecstacy, that it is easy to become attached to it, that is, selfish and fearful. There is a real poverty mindset towards love in our culture. So when we feel it, we can automatically become afraid to lose it. That egoic attachment and fear is exactly what destroys love. It wants to control, it is jealous, it is attached to the high.

Starting fresh in each moment by being present, we can enjoy love fully. We can worry less about "how long will it last?" and instead just delight in it. By being our Self as honestly and courageously as possible in each moment, we can continue to love and feel loved just by being alive. The gift of love becomes omnipresent. The fear can disappear. We are new and open in each moment to the love that arises from within.

108 nights of meditation: how concentration works

I am still keeping the chain, although my meditation style is very creative, tactile and not very rigid and forceful. The difference between formal meditation and my interpretation of Tantric meditation is that one can feel bored, forced and restricted in a formal seated practice. In keeping my consciousness as the focus, my attention naturally falls where it wishes. Where there is interest or delight there is concentration, naturally. So I practice opening my awareness in the moment without expectation, judgement or agenda. I let creativity lead.

So I basically follow my fascination for 20 mins a night. I feel joyful when I practice, and after as well. It actually gives me a lot of energy, where forcing my concentration stiffly caused me to feel tired more often. They say it takes more energy to fight the flow. Instead of trying to control the situation, I am riding the wave of consciousness, not clinging to the objects in it, but delighting in their experience while they flow by. Sometimes a natural little fluid movement arises and I flow with it and feel presence, or I sit very straight and still + just enjoy the ride. I enjoy the rising and dissolution of what tickles my senses, without seeking it.
In this way I find it hard to NOT become energized, inspired, joyful and at peace. Meditation can take many forms. Don't let those stuck on form poison your ability to explore and adventure. Eventually, we have to go beyond ALL concepts on our journey to clear awareness.
We also have to keep evolving. As we do, what used to work for us may not any longer. We change, so new ways work better in our new consciousness. Change and movement are the nature of the manifest universe. Embrace the flow! We can't fight reality if we are trying to find reality-it certainly doesn't help!

Everything is Consciousness

Let us guide our lives in a way that honors the Consciousness that is in everything and all forms. If we remember that everything in the world wears the gentle smile of consciousness, we cannot be so callous with human and animal lives, so quick to slice down a tree that has lived two hundred years, to toss our faithful possessions around and abuse them like ingrates and to treat the intricately living Earth like merely inputs to be manipulated.

We all felt the "aliveness" in the world as children. We are not wiser or smarter for forgetting. We are colder and duller, a little bit dead when we give up acknowledging the beingness of all that is.

Life is vibrant and miraculous when we live with wonder, gratitude, patience, and respect for life itself, and everything that manifests within our experience.
To know this and live this is surely a path of yoga.
May all beings be free from suffering and have total happiness! May existence clearly sparkle once again in the eyes and hearts of all conscious beings!

So simple, so difficult

We come to a place on the path where we are pretty pure- our body, lifestyle, motivations... And then the bigger challenge isn't to hold on to increasing information, but to let go. To let go of everything, and become purely motivated from the stirring of our heart-center in a completely personal-impersonal way.
Letting go of past, future, expectations, sense of self, sense of others and just re-becoming pure awareness.
This is a simple yet completely, incredibly difficult challenge...

Overcoming Obstacles On the Path

Whatever you see the path as, a way to a healthier lifestyle, a way to more peace and happiness or a spiritual path, the ego gets in the way. This isn't the same entirely as what we normally think of as ego, it's much more subtle then that. It is getting caught in our emotions and the impulses of our mind and body as being all there is to us, forgetting that there is a deeper part to us that witnesses all of those constantly changing factors.

The ego is the part of us that is so resistant to change, so determined to not do what we know we truly want and need to do to be our best possible Self.

As I am restarting a home meditation practice, after years of mindfulness, yoga asana and other meditation practices, I am witnessing my ego throwing every trick at me. Anxious antsy boredom, fatigue, constant roving and distracted eyes... Ram Dass says that the ego pulls out those tricks right when we are about to come to a deeper state of meditation or awareness. So I smile to my silly ego, as it worries and tries to resist transformation. Its afraid of non-existence being revealed in the unknown beyond. I'm not concerned with any of that, I trust in the deeper state of my own consciousness that I'm ready to know.

Just smile to those tricks. You have time for anything that you truly need and want. You have to want it. Enlightenment or transformation won't come find you if you are too busy resisting, or pampering your resistant ego. You have to show up to be marked present. Continue on! Don't give in! Fearless! You have to really want that freedom and peace to go claim it! Namaste!

My Guru

I am definately a bhakti-yogini. I am a lover in the Rumi sense of the word. Bhakti yoga at its core is finding wholeness, union, Yoga, by dissolving the ego (false-self) in the ocean of love that is the Cosmic Self, (the Universe, God, the Infinite, the Nature of Being- many names for one Source). This realization of the oneness of being is also called Self-realization, or enlightenment.

Glimpses of my bhakti-yogini nature foreshadowing this realization came in many forms. Of course, I believe, every child is a yogi-scientist-artist-explorer, nature and animal lover at heart. I used to extend my sphere of compassion to the many animals I tried to form a close bond with, innocently catching 'pets' that I wanted to so badly to love + care for- ants, grasshoppers, frogs, dragonflies, "leroys + beebles", (aquatic larvae and diver beetles), crayfish, and more, plus my domestic cats, gerbils, mice and hamsters. When I was young I even extended my sphere of concern to my stuffed animals, feeling worried that they would be saddened if I didn't pay equal attention to them. These things adults think are children's folly are the world of lovers, we know that sat-chid-ananda is the fabric of the universe, toys + 'real' beings alike.

I remember feeling the inauthenticity of having to decide "what to be" when I grew up, and I asked why being a good person wasn't enough to be.

I played outside as long as I was allowed. Nature was my playground. When I was inside, I most enjoyed learning about nature, the earth and the world cultures. Science and global studies were my favorites, along with art. To create was my passion.

Now, with an ever clarifying awareness, I see all these glimpses as obvious indications of my path. A yogini all along, a lover of Life Itself, but who is my guru?

In Ram Dass' description, the guru is the fully-realized or enlightened person that loves you unconditionally, whose prescence gives the instant experience of the love-bath that is sat-chid-ananda. The guru is one with Life fully, and gives the student unconditional love and exctly the right cues at the right time to facilitate awakening and the spiritual path. The guru helps burn the ego or small self to reveal the Self within. The guru is the reflection of the Self, in the mirror of one particular body.
I have no guru in this sense. Perhaps on pilgrimage to India in the future I will meet such a being. Maybe I will meet such a being here in America, but right now, I don't think so. My guru is the Guru reflected in all beings and especially in the natural world. My guru is the Guru. Life 'talks' to me when I ask it to clearly, honestly and with pure intention. If I ask for a certain sign in that way, I can't remember a time when it has not been given.
I have had and still have many influences and teachers. I began my yoga journey at the Sivananda Ashram in the Bahamas. I have done a great deal of self-study and Self study (actual practice). On the path they say that an ounce of practice is worth a pound of theory. K. Patabhi Jois said yoga is 1% theory and 99% practice. I have practiced with Shiva Rea. I resonated so well with Shiva's teachings that I consider her my primary teacher. I have been inspired by Jivamukti Yoga and will practice with its founders this August as well.

Thus far, Shiva Rea is the closest to a guru in human form that I have found. She inspires me and sparks an expansion of my awareness. She is "me in the future" in that when I touch base with her (through a dvd, a workshop, a blurb on her website) I often hear her articulate so clearly and with such knowing from experience something that I am just coming close to consciously experiencing. What is just busting out of the seed in me is fully blossomed and has given fruit and shared many seeds in Shiva. She is genuine and definately connected to what is the Source of life. I feel a great love in me for Shiva and her work. Much of what she does is so beautiful and resonates so well with me that it could be my own. I do adore her very much. However, Shiva Rea is world-renowned and is very busy. She hasn't the time to spend personally with all of her students. A guru doesn't need to spend a lot of time with the student, but I imagine a more personal connection both ways- for guru to know student too.
Will I ever find a guru in human form? I do long for a guru, at times quite passionately. Will Sharon Gannon or David Life be the guru of my dreams? Is Shiva my guru, will I get to understand that as the truth?
Will I meet a guru here in America or in the future in India? I cannot know now. But I do know that the more I practice, everyday I experience a small micrometer of expansion in my consciousness. And I feel that expansion, that warm immersion in the love-bath of being-bliss-wisdom when I am actually present in nature. Maybe I long for the guru to come in human form because that is the only way I have ever experienced loving-closeness, and because of the lack of really deep closeness I have had with much of my family. When I ask the Universe with genuine love and presence, It answers, and I do feel loved. The more aware I am, the more love I feel. And the more unconditional love I can allow to shine through me onto others, the more loved I feel.

So as far as I know, my guru is Nature. The Universe, Life Itself. That's what most people refer to as God. I kind of like the name Guru myself.

When I grow up, I aspire to be a guru. I want to be so illumined that the unconditional love that is the undercurrent of life itself flows through me into the world. I want to BECOME the love of the Guru. I want to shine that light on all beings, on all objects, to make the sacred universe aware of itself. I want to live my life as my message, as Mahatma Gandhi said and did. I want to live my life in perfect peace and perfect non-harm, living as a giving to the peace, happiness and freedom from suffering of all beings. I want to dissolve my small-self-ego in the ocean of unconditional-love-bliss-wisdom and just be That. May I become worthy of the title guru when the time is right and may I be that which the enables the Universe to unfold at Its own will (may I uphold the dharma, meaning that natural, balanced flow of all things 'as they are meant to be'). May my life enhance the peace-joy-love-freedom-nourishment of all beings, including the earth and entire Universe Itself. That is my greatest wish and desire.

When I am unified in love-consciouness, and you are unified in love-consciousness, we are one. In essence, we are all One, all is One. This is the meaning of Namaste.

What type of Yoga-path do you practice? Do you have a guru story? What teachers inspire you? Om, shanti, namaste!

Sai Baba Quotes to Inspire You~

Man learns through experience, and the spiritual path is full of different kinds of experiences. He will encounter many difficulties and obstacles, and they are the very experiences he needs to encourage and complete the cleansing process.

Do not be misled by what you see around you, or be influenced by what you see. You live in a world which is a playground of illusion, full of false paths, false values and false ideals. But you are not part of that world.

Let love flow so that it cleanses the world. Then man can live in peace, instead of the state of turmoil he has created through his past ways of life, with all those material interests and earthly ambitions.

Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.

Look out into the universe and contemplate the glory of God. Observe the stars, millions of them, twinkling in the night sky, all with a message of unity, part of the very nature of God.

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.

Man is lost and is wandering in a jungle where real values have no meaning. Real values can have meaning to man only when he steps on to the spiritual path, a path where negative emotions have no use.

The power of Community

Community, the gathering of like-minded individuals, is important on the path. We infuse each other with strength, confidence and encouragement. We teach and learn from each other. When we practice together, our energy magnifies.


In Yoga, the term "satsang" is used, meaning "in the company of saints or high-minded people". In Buddhism, the Sangha or community of monks, nun and lay-practitioners is a fundamental component of practice in which we "take refuge" or find strength.


The Irish say, "it is in the shelter of each other that the people live" and when we open ourselves to the real give and take that is community, we find we are truly fortified. We grow stronger spiritually both in learning to give or sacrifice of ourselves and in surrendering and taking help when we need it. We see the inter-being of all things in action. We are one with the universe and each other. We are more whole then ever.
English is not always the most poetic language, but the word "community" is beautiful. Co- as in together, and unity- we come together to experience unity. It is also lovely the Om is in the center!


We are just Love in the service of Love, some say. When we become community, we see love and peace in action! Namaste!

The real power of Yoga- why daily practice is key!

Coming together as a community to practice is powerful. Practicing once or twice at the studio each week is important to learn under the guidance of a professional, and to ensure that a practice center can remain open. But what about the weekend, the days in between, and the snow days? Natural Yoga is intended to be practiced everyday, it is intended to empower you to integrate practice into your lifestyle.
The word used for practice is sadhana, indicating spiritual practice, which in the Indian context is inseperable from life. Life is spiritually-infused, a journey of the soul in the body through the manifest world.
Don't depend on being at the studio to practice Yogic ways, anymore than one should only practice piety in church. Coming to the studio is to learn techniques, create community and to become inspired More deeply. Practice everyday- mindfulness of the breath and posture all day and aanas and/or meditation for at least a few minutes, and you WILL feel a great difference.
When we practice, we go deep within to the fountainhead of life energy, we touch the ground of Being or Source as it connects within us. To touch this is powerful, deeply healing and inspiring. Touch it once a week, and you will feel a difference. Touch it once a day, and you will transform. Touch it multiple times each day, and you will feel nothing short of miracles unfolding around you and through you.
We are having a workshop that will help you to establish daily practice of Natural Yoga on April 21st. Please inquire if you are interested or stay tuned for more info. You may request information by emailng naturalmethodyoga@gmail.com or by calling/texting 518 866 3621.

End of the world as we know it- beginning of a new level of consciouness

Their is undeniably unrest occuring all over the world- in Libya, Egypt, and all of the nations with extremely unequal distributions of wealth particularly. The suffering, violence and death that often accompanies this kind of struggle is very tragic. Yet, the fact that people are rising up, recognizing their worth and inherent equality is encouraging.

Some say that there is a quickening of consciounesss, an evolution of awareness that has been in crawlingly slow progress since the time of the first humans, that is now building up momentum, speeding us to a new level of existence. It is as if the collective awareness is reaching a critical mass, and that the level of awakened people is tipping the scale, so that to carry on into the future, people must open their minds and hearts to a whole new worldview.

Unrest in the face of egregious oppresion, and the crumbling of the world of materialism reflects both collective awakening and the insubstanciality of a materialistic worldview. If owning clever objects and mountains of stuff was the way to fulfilment and inner peace, then we wouldn't have so many depressed people in the West that water supplies can become contaminated with Wellbutrin (it happened in England). If the way we are living is working, then why do so many people feel confused, unsatisfied and an insatiable emptiness or neediness? If the way we are eating is so good, then why are diabetes, heart disease and cancer so rampant? While in the richest countries where we have everything we need and then a ton of things we don't, in some of the poorest countries people live simply, with few possesions, and often have to go without basic needs, yet there is a deeply spiritual peace that they exude. If true happiness could be bought, if inner peace could be boxed, it'd be sold at Target, and we'd all make sure to pick some up.

So after almost three quarters of a century of hardcore capitalism and rampant material hoarding, we see the results- a deterioration of the social fabric and less genuine connection in families and communities, a deep feeling of loss of morale or disbelief in the innate inner goodness of others or value of life, a degeneration of the abused environment evoking megalithic catastrophies as Earth seeks equilibrium and a whole bunch of useless plastic shit nobody needs like hotdog toasters and disposable everything. All the dispoable objects in the modern world are evocative of the transience and inherent inevitable dissatisfaction you will feel when you place the faith of your salvation in owning objects. We have so much plastic that there is a big island made of junk and plastic bags floating in the ocean off the coast of California, and its so big that it has an official name- the Pacific Garbage Patch. We want to be saved from our inner dissatisfaction, aching, and confusion, we
want to feel whole again. And I think the world is finally coming to its senses, ever so slowly.

We need to live in universal respect and equality. We all need our basic needs met. We need to dispense with pretense, prejudice and persecution of difference, because its not working. We need to live a little simpler and recognize the sacredness inherent in all things and beings, in life itself.

Those who want to cling blindly to their money, possesions, and popular culture like false idols are deep down just afraid to really live. Those who think that their way is the only way, their religion is the only one and that all others must be wrong and somehow not as good or worthy need to wake up. We are all trying to reach the same goal, become our highest potential, describe the Indescribable, feel wholeness, be happy, healthy and free from suffering.

The images of seperation are what are failing. The mirage of caste, of exclusivity, is faltering. People are beginning to see through it now. We cannot be tricked into accepting the lies that proliferate ignorance or attempt to mask greed. The world is waking up. We are all one or none, as Dr. Bronner says. When people talk about "the end of the world in 2012", perhaps its the end of the veil, the ignorance, the end of the shallow and superficial world. That is how I view it- the end of the dog eat dog, fend for yourself, fakey-fake, take all you can, greedy, bigoted, hateful, hurtful, empty and miserable world. The birth of a world of cooperation, community, authenticity, simplicity, universal respect and unity in diversity is imminent.

If you'd like to prepare for this Coming of Consciouness, all you have to do is love your neighbors (all those around you), lighten up, live from your heart and breathe yourself into the moment. Help others at every opportunity, see the inner beauty of all and respect all life, including the earth that provides for our needs. Live honestly and honor your unique spark. Live by a vow of non-harm.

For every one of us that does their best to practice peace, its one more out of 7 billion that is awake and living Love. One by one we shift the tide, drop by drop the bucket is filled and we create the world we wished for. Each of us have the responsibility to make the effort, everyday we must do our best. And in this way, we transform the world. By our example, we lead the next generation. Let love and peace prevail inside and the outside will follow...

We are all one... Reach out in Love

The tragedy in Japan is so sad. If we hear about destruction and suffering like this, and take a moment to be mindful, we can't help but feel it viscerally. There's an ache. A hurt. A deep longing. A desire to remove the suffering, heal the sick restore peace. I've never felt this way though... There's more connection then ever before. There may or may not be anyone I know personally there in Japan, and at the same time those are my loved ones, my friends, my family. The children are my children, the elders my grandparents. I'm not being idealistic, I feel connected.

Tragedy and disaster have a way of bringing out the best in people. We reach out a hand for someone in obvious need. We forget about the illusion of "us" and "them" if only for a moment. Sometimes, when something is broken down, its as if it breaks down our inhibitions too. We are more genuinely human.
With a deep urge to help, and discussion with some of my student-friends, I decided to reach out to a yoga studio in Tokyo. I thought that the best way to help would be to give, yogi to yogi, believing that they would be able to reach someone in need for us.

What has transpired has meant so much to me, it is hard to do it justice by relaying it in its simplicity, but I'll try. It shows that we are all connected. It also shows that while material assistance helps materially, heart-felt expression helps the heart. Without heart, material assistance cannot end suffering.

When I contacted the studio, OhanaSmile in Tokyo with my words of heart-felt feelings of oneness, longing to alleviate their suffering and offer to help, I received a beautiful response. I received the energy of real gratitude, and the message said the recipient was "deeply touched" by my message. While a link to donate to the Japanese Red Cross was given, what was asked for first, almost preferably, was for me to simply share my feelings on a yoga community forum, even taking the time to translate each part of the form so that I could really understand it. The message was ended with, "hontou ni domo arigatou gozaimasu"- I truly thank you very much, words which resonated with a lot of deep feeling.

The owner of OhanaSmile yoga studio, with whom I am conversing, also runs a yoga community website, a place for Yogis and Yoginis to post thoughts, conversations and discussions. It was on this site that it was requested I post, and I did. I posted A very raw, honest message to the people in Japan.

I posted from my heart, my feelings of oneness, my sincere desire to serve, to help, to relieve their suffering and bring peace again. I shared that I felt priveleged to share my feelings with them, and I truly do still feel it. I can feel passionately about this tragedy, but keeping it to myself or even among Americans feels one way. But sharing my heart with someone there, experiencing this as a reality, has transformed the energy of the feelings. I really felt that greater connection, interconnection, and oneness come alive.

There was another option, to upload a picture, but I didn't think much of it. The most important thing for me was to share those feelings. To say I'm deeply sorry you are hurting and I love you.
Within a couple hours, I was written back, asking for my picture, to place with the post. I feel connected. Its amazing that my words meant something, enough that I'm not simply forgotten. It's not me, per se or "my" words- its just the power of love, Love in service of Itself.

Some people say the world is going to end soon. I think that just the world as we know it will end. The charade of separation is getting too old and painful to continue. Let the veils lift, and may we all see the truth of our ultimate oneness, and live in the harmony of kindness and true love.

I am thinking that I will try reaching out like this more often, whenever the inspiration is present. I have been living a practice of deep honesty for a little while now, which includes sensitive expression of my true thoughts & feelings when appropriate. It's like this wonderful song, the title & artist I do not know, but the refrain is "...and the moment slipped away..." The singer recognizes these outstanding qualities or true bravery in various people throughout the song, but instead of sharing her loving appreciation right then when she is touched by it, see lets it go, and loses the opportunity to express that respect and kindness. Hearing that song for the first time in 2006, the year I first started the studio, moved me to tears. I started then to practice my hardest to not let a moment slip away, to express my loving appreciation, gratitude, admiration and respect right away. Until embracing this practice, I never overtly recognized the power of a smile, thank you, or a truly honest compliment to positively affect someone, to actually brighten their day. A kind word from the heart is so powerful!

Yet, until now this practice has been more focused on people I know face-to-face, although it has transformed the way I interact at all times to some extent.

Now, I will practice this deep honesty in a new way, reaching out beyond "here", inspired by Yoga's wisdom and this very beautiful experience..

Special Workshop Event: Simple Ways to Transform Your Life- protect your health + the earth at the same time, this April at ~ Enlighten ~

On April 21st, from 4-8 pm we are conducting a special workshop to raise funds for Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary (www.woodstocksanctuary.org).

We will explore our topic- Simple Ways to Transform Your Life: ways to protect your health and the earth at the same time.
We will begin with a gentle yoga practice and meditation for 90 minutes, then talk about the vast and amazing benefits of regular meditation + yoga practice. We will talk about simple changes you can make in your everyday choices to help the earth and protect your health at the same time. We will talk about the most profound way to protect yourself and the earth- through dietary habits. Learn what foods harm and what foods heal, learn how to maintain a healthy weight or lose weight without having to ever count calories or starve again. This workshop will give you powerful tools and information to protect your health and help the earth at the same time- and for the most part saving money too.
Our suggested donation is $50, which includes tea during the last half of the workshop. As with any of Enlighten's offerings, pay only as you can afford, so no matter what, if any, donation you make you will be treated equally.
Wear comfortable exercise clothing. Bring a notebook and pen to take notes, and those who would like a booklet e-mailed to them with the workshop info can request it at the end.
We are using this workshop as a way to serve the well-being of our community and at the same time raise funds for Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary and their good work. They rescue and rehabilate and provide life-long care for the animal victims of factory farming. They give enjoyable and educational tours, allowing people to see and form true connections with the sweet and sensitive farm animals which have survived the egregious cruelty of the modern food system.
Tell your friends and co-workers, clients and aquaintences about this transformative event! For more information, e-mail Laura at naturalmethodyoga@gmail.com or call/text 518 866 3621.
Namaste!

The Pathways of Yoga

Yoga means union. It is the rejoining of our whole self in the present moment; mind and body with Spirit. Yoga is a state of wholeness or absorption, one-pointed attention in the present moment.
There are many ways to experience that absorption or wholeness. Traditionally in Yoga, it is divided into four pathways. The fifth is a relatively modern path of practice.

Raja Yoga: the scientific path, the path of systematic practices leading to Realization. This includes hatha yoga, nada yoga (absorption in inner sounds), and Patanjanli's Yoga sutras.
examples: this is the main form of Yoga taught in studios and yoga centers in the West.
ways to practice: regularly attend Yoga classes or practice yoga asanas, pranayama and meditation on your own. Start with a couple sessions each week and steadily increase to an hour each day. Regularly read and study the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. A good version is The Essential Yoga Sutra by Gesshe Michael Roach and Christie McNally.

Bhakti Yoga: the ecstatic path of Love and devotion. You love until the difference between you and the Beloved dissolves.
examples: Rumi was the ultimate lover of the Beloved. Loving devotion and communion with nature as the creation of the Creator is a form of Bhakti. Seeing the sacredness in all life and everywhere in every moment is a way of Bhakti.
The way very devoted Christians practice, with absolute love and adoration for the Divine in the form of Jesus Christ, could be described as Bhakti Yoga. Sufism is also very much a Bhakti way of life. Islam and Judaism, with the vow of remembrance have a strong level of Bhakti-like devotion, especially zikr and the practice of prayers throughout the day in Islam.
ways to practice: practice remembrance of God, also called mindfulness, in each moment.
Commune with nature, protect and respect the environment. Remember that nature is a pure manifestation from the Source of life. Through loving, respecting and connecting deeply with the creation, we show our love and reverence to the Creator. We celebrate the art and Artist at once.
Writing poems, singing devotional songs or chanting mantras help to build and express your love.
Be kind, compassionate, loving and helpful to all beings. Love is the way of life.
Serve and see others as emmanations of the Emmanence. See all of life and how it unfolds as purposeful, and as being placed perfectly for our spiritual evolution. Surrender to the truths that are revealed, accept everything as part of the path, especially the challenges that arise. Follow the heart-compass at all times, never bow to popular culture or peer pressure.
Become Divine Love in everyway possible.
Karma Yoga: selflessly serving all beings like you are serving the Divine, because you understand that that is what you are in fact doing.
examples: Mahatma Gandhi-ji was a karma Yogi. So was Mother Teresa.
way to practice: volunteering regularly, at home or abroad, serving others with no sense of loftiness or attachment to receiving thanks from others. Serve because it fulfils your inner being. Serve with all your heart, never feeling "better than" those you serve.
Help others in more unglorious ways, by holding doors, smiling to neighbors, listening when someone, even a stranger, needs to talk. Do things without recognition, do them anonymously whenever possible. Other ideas for service are doing yardwork or shopping for an elderly homebound neighbor, drop gifts of second-hand clothes off where they can be used, knit scarves for the homeless, donate food to the soup kitchen or animal food to the animal shelter. Rise to every occaision to alleviate the suffering of others, big or small, human or animal or even plant. Respect all life as a manifestation of the Divine.
Treat all as guests, and treat all guests as if they are the embodiment of the Divine Consciousness. Help others in any way possible, not looking for thanks or rewards. Do everything you can to free others of their suffering, with whole-hearted devotion.

Jnana Yoga: the path of study and deep meditation to transcend the egoic mind and reach enlightenment.
exampes: the Buddha, the Buddhist path is a way of Jnana. The teachings of Eckhart Tolle are in line with the Jnana Yoga path.
ways to practice: regularly study the scriptures and words of wise, accomplished beings. Spend time with a sangha, at a church, monastery or ashram. Meditate an hour each morning and each night. Seek out the company of others on the path or spend much of your time alone in practice as possible.

Integral Yoga: is a path blending all of these ways of Realization.
Examples: the Engaged Buddhism of Thich Nhat Hahn really integrates service, loving appreciation and devotion to practice. Swami Sivananda and his disciples taught Integral Yoga as the surest path to Realization.
Ways to practice: find a natural balance of practices that can be integrated into your way of life. Live your Yoga. Don't compromise your most basic values of non-harm, kindness, service and compassion.