Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Sparrow's Song

We all want to be loved
Hey, we all want to know
That we make someone's heart
Soul Dance

And in my years 
I have seen
Many connections
Soul mates
And fade away
I have no fear

There only is a certain window
I evolve so fast
We are only on the same page
A brief moment
It cannot last
If the other can't 
keep up
With me
This is my reality.

This is how it goes
Nobody knows
Or when
Comes it goes
As soon as one fades
Seems to surface...
There is always one 
Deeper than the rest
And several
Trying their best 
To reach me

Standing my ground, 
staying me, 
not stopping 
to appease

No matter how much
 I want
This one to last...

Give me a few moments
Few breaths
To savor this 
And breathe this love
Into my chest
I cannot rest
If it's a lie
I cannot nest
In a disguise..
I can not 
slow down
I will keep flying
Until I've found
one who isn't lying
Though mildly trying
With best intentions

Just not my match
Purpose pauses
It's not coincidence 
My eyes did catch
Upon your eyes
Within your soul
And recognizing you
Brought me closer to my goal

All you soul mates
That cannot match me
You are lanterns
Guiding me in the night sky
Flying into the breeze

Crisp and refreshing,
Almost biting
But not cruel
This wind stirs me to my depths
It's taking me
Somewhere true

Home is where my heart is
And love is who I am
And I still believe 
There is a love for me
One man

I salute the lanterns
Guiding my flight
Keeping me warm
Momentary delight

But I cannot stop
To stay with you
You would fly with me
If that were true

I love you
I bless you
Thank you, 
Dear Soul

This sparrow 
Must keep flying
Into the unknown.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Time To Be Still

Thoughts deepen
Focus quickens
Silent earth, Snowed upon
I know how you feel

I am not sad,
I am still.
I am whole but resting in a place of quiet on the edge of a massive potential storm
Potential tropical paradise

High pressure
Of cold air
Cutting through the silliness
Inviting inward resting
Coiled snake awaiting enough warmth to begin the ascent

Not without desire
But elegantly soaking in the stew of this moment
Nestled within itself

Can't you feel what you feel?
Can't you tell what is real?

So I suppose
Those that know
Are rarer than I knew

Even though,
we all feel it
For most only the dormant soul knows
And as for me
I can see
In one breath
All is contained

I can see your future
In our first days
But can you walk into it
Without fear?
Can you resist blaming me for knowing you better than you do?
Your boldness disappears
When reality holds up a mirror
I am the mirror and if you don't like what you see it is not me you have to blame

Shame that more don't commune with reality

This moment is slow
And deep and eternal
Rest before the road
Pulls me along
Once again

The art is in learning how to be still when it is time for stillness
How to be silly when it is time for silliness
How to be present more than you reminisce
How to dream a future so vividly that your imaginings form a shining rope of thought
By which you pull it into becoming real.

You Manifest what you feel
But if you do not guide what you feel
What you will find
Won't be what you desire but what you most fear

Truth above all else
But in order to hear
Once must learn to be still

Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Poison As The Antidote

It's time
I see
I didn't know
I needed to release
Until the poison
Seeped deeply
Wicked up
inside of me
I resisted
In my Pursuit
Of the truth
I strived
To stay alive
And learn I did
Survive I did

I let the acrid
Scour off the shell
I can't blame
it all
on the boys
In men's clothing
But their loathing
Was toxic
To an extraordinary degree
Slowly eating away
At my bliss
Stripping me
Of my freedom
By strapping
Cinder blocks
Of heavy cynicism
And the judgement
of their insecurity
On my delicate

It wasn't theirs alone
it dragged
Old scars
from the well
From many moons
Many lifetimes ago

The heaviness
That I once endured
And fought so hard
To become pure of
A Renaissance
Of joy and ease

And their heavy hands
My delicate figurine form
Ridiculed my grace
And pushed me down
So that they could feel strong
When we were
Face to face

Sometimes you don't know
Until you are ill
When someone doses you slowly
And out of love
You drink your fill
It can take many years
Before you see
That "the one I loved
Was poisoning me"

So the lead you
We're pouring
My throat
When I was
Was not enough
To kill me
Not enough to keep
Me from opening
my eyes
From learning to rise
Once again

And I used
It to learn
How to become
More free
And how to
More sharply attune
To my reality

I watch myself
And though
I was graced
To keep it

I feel the bitter
Pouring out of me
I choke on the bit
Like sawdust and sputum
Violently bitter..

The sway of my hips
My sweetness of tone
My kind, loving gaze
My joy when alone
My peace
My smile
My acceptance

I am slowly floating back to the surface
To the light of me
Back to my beauty
Again I can breathe

You stole my peace
But I used it to purge past wounds
I harbor no regret or ill will
But Your venom now
is just your own

I am once again at home
In my heart
In my life
Than before

I will have bled
The rotten black sap
Viscous and viscous
Out of my soul
Until there is no more
I have survived
And used
Your poison
To heal
And set me free.

Never again
Will I
Let another
Poison me.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Sacred Longing

This is much different than my usual format.. Glad to do something new and different. ;) as the inspiration flows..

Somehow knowing
Time is showing
Unknown made known
One stands alone
Never alone

Jeweled net
Only felt
In the heart
It's showing

Not so hidden
Path less ridden
More work
Less disgust
That left unused
Turns to rust

Of two souls
One love
More than can
Be discovered
By just one
But by two
Purely love
For everything
For no

Light of Love

The light is all it takes to awake me from the night,

Be it the moon, or the screen of my phone, or sunrise.

It finds my eyes, it washes away the sleep,

I've even awoken to the glow of my own heart in-love
more than once.

But that faded into the fabric of my being because promises were given that he couldn't keep.


On the edge of my seat endless eons every single day,

Waiting but not stagnant I cannot allow myself to doubt what I feel.

What we feel is summoning itself towards us,

The more passionately I feel it the faster and harder it comes along.

I will not stop.
I'll sing this song.
I don't care that I've been alone so long.
After years of waking up I can't be so wrong.
I can't be making this up, he'll come along.

I don't always understand the dance,
But I dance on.

I curl my hair, put red lipstick on,

But I do it because it feels pure, it makes me happy, I sing my song,

I never knew I had this much joy and peace within me for way too long.

I don't look so stunning because I need a man,

I know more than a few that'd gladly hold my hand.

I am stunning, because that's me,
And living as anything less would be fighting reality.

And though my moon,
She craves her sun,
My female essence desires male,
I want just one.
I won't settle for less,
I don't want more.
I'm not desperate, nor am I a whore.

Many a good man has vied for my heart
Tried for my heart
But I know before we start its over
Not there
Nor ever shall be
No matter how good on paper,
 not truth
Not reality

And of the ones that I did love
Too quickly the boat capsized
They saw my light
I saw it in their eyes
When the chase was over
They'd run and hide
My HONESTY became sharply real
against the pattern of their inner lies
And the pain of the difference
Was more than they could deny
They left without even saying goodbye
They left the shell of their integrity behind

This level of beauty
Of honesty
Tears a less ready heart to smithereens
It takes many years
To build the strength
To OWN your facts without restraint

So come to me lover
Set fire to my inner moon
Melt my soul
And I'll make you room.

I'll love you like
The moon and stars
Move poets to tears
Move ocean's tide
And if you stay strong
Don't run and hide
And prove yourself true
That your passion abides
I'll follow you
With my every day
Like the entire universe loving you
In every way
Like life itself
touching you
You have to be yourself before you come to me
Own your truth and live in reality

Find me
I want to see you see me
See the spark
Feel the gravity
You come get me
Prove your love
Through every glance
Through actions too
And I'll love you endlessly
Unselfishly and true
I'll give you a love so pure
It's only seen by very few
Received by fewer
Nothing more sacred
Nothing truer


I live on
As if you see me
Because I love what it is to be
Who I am
Like a source of light
Drawing eyes naturally without a fight

But I won't settle
I won't sell my soul
Years of thinking
'close' was enough have taken a toll
And now I want
No one but you
I don't know where you'll come from
But when you do

I know my life
As I have known
Was just preparing me
for an even brighter road

So on the edge of my seat endless eons everyday

I love every moment of this agony
Waiting for you to find me
But it's tearing me from inside
And I won't run and hide

I'll curl my hair, put my red lipstick on
I refuse to be anything less than me
And now it's dawn
So full and deep
I've got evolution to fulfill so I can't sleep
I have a promise to the universe to keep

You'll come along
Unknown when
I'll be singing my song
I won't pretend
That I don't want you
No games
No haste
You have to prove you love me beyond the chase
And when you do
I'll know it's you
Loving divinity
In the forms of my man and lady

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Release You

I'm not less because you were inconsistent..
I'm not less because you treated me like a whore,
When I gave you respect, devotion, love, honesty, my body, my heart, my soul
and you wanted MORE.

I still have my integrity.
You have a broken image of what you are
and what you THINK you should be.

I have to lose all the pieces of everything.
I have to sit in this intense space.
This immense place,
of deep discomfort,
And I can handle it.

I would've given you the devotion of all my days,
The love of a good woman shouldn't be taken for granted.
You chased me, defaced me, erased me and in your heart,
 fearful resistance supplanted,
All the feelings you declared for me.

All the nightmares of your reality,
You can't erase,
They will follow you wherever you go,
Wherever you call home,
And you chose to face them all alone.

I am not made less because you had to maintain a false sense of superiority,
Just to avoid your inner feelings of inferiority,
You have shown your priorities,
And I see that honesty is NOT ranking highly.

Maybe if I were less,
 you'd still be around,
Because my fearless adherence to the truth wouldn't intimidate you,
You would be able to control me,
Sedate yourself,
 and I wouldn't call you out on it because I'd be less free..

But I'm not and my disgust is not because of me,
And I won't waste my breath blaming it on you and your inconsistency,
I'm only bothered that it takes more than a week to release the love I had for you from deep within me.

I'm not doubting my beauty
I'm not doubting my grace
I'm not wishing you'd come back to me,
Don't even show me your shameful face.

My mind knows you were childish,
And my heart wants no less than a REAL love
to breathe deep into my lungs.
I'm just waiting for my body to release you,
And heal the wounds leveled by your lying tongue.
Your hands never lied, you were cold and CRUEL,
And the judgement in your voice LASHING at ME
 but stemming from within YOU.

You were part of my story,
But you burned down the glory,
You pillaged the beautiful place in which you were held,
You decimated the love you beheld,
You destroyed your throne,
Now you're on your own,
And your place
In my heart
Became as an object
A catalyst
Not a man
No longer priceless
But a dime a dozen

So enjoy your material wasteland,
And I'll hear from you when you realized how tragically you played your hand
Guarantee it'll be too late
You chose your fate
And with this I release you.
God bless you in all you do.
I deserve much better than you.