Agony Gives Birth to Peace...

There is a low hum of agony and discomfort in many lives.. We all experience this at times.. 

Those of us living in the cold, we are part of the agony of anticipating the blooming of Spring, us and all of nature. We await the arrival of milder winds and greenery with our tired bodies and aching minds, like we all long for embodied freedom, which is a slow, intense but beautiful process.

I am not belittling your agony, your longing, your suffering.. And I do not say that you deserve to hurt.. But it is a fact that the discomfort forces us to seek what brings about peace and in that we reveal authenticity...

If you focus on gratitude and the even tiny things that bring you joy and inspiration, you will have an easier time with the challenges you face. Easier time, relatively, as they are not easy.. But why make things harder than they must be?!

There is a way that is not avoidance or complacency, a place of constant growth and movement, that is not totally cozy but not abrasive.. It is a place of aliveness.. Freshness.. The discomfort of learning should be revered and encouraged.. Never grow so lazy that you reject the newness of growth..

Stay vulnerable.. Accept the agonies and longings that fire up and burn at your soul.. They are the forge-fires and your conscious way of handling your experience is what allows your greatest potential to emerge, one bellow's breath at a time. Your consciousness is the blacksmith of your life, if you allow it to be..

Our pain is not nothing, our hurts are real and need proper healing... But we ARE NOT TO BE DEFINED BY OUR HURTS, OUR SCARS, OUR AGONY, OUR PAST.. We define ourselves in each moment by how we work with our experinces. There is no perfection in this.. This is sloppy, tear-stained work. This is work for ourselves alone and for reaching out to loving souls who uplift & empower our healing and naturally reflect our greatness back at us. It is in your honest, raw vulnerability; in owning your feelings, in honoring your truth; in being okay with falling but getting up again; in being tender enough to love yourself, and have enough compassion to see how deeply twisted & tortured others are inside if they can knowingly do harm to others.. In standing your ground firmly but compassionately, yet unapologetically, setting healthy & genuine boundaries; that brings about real healing, and reveals your highest truth.

STOP WAITING for perfection!! Don't WAIT for someday to have happiness or peace or to fully live.. Someday you'll be dead.. Live from your heart everyday! Perfection is in the lines on your hands and face, the dirt under your nails, in your tears and laughter, in the gratitude for food, love & beauty, in the ease of real comfort within your own skin, soul shining boldly and brightly through every pore. Peace isn't found when discomfort stops, it's found when you realize that discomfort, no matter how deep, is transient, but who you are is the light-consciousness that is steady, infinite, untarnished, and full of loving peace, witnessing this brief human journey. 

Yoga Is..

Yoga practice isn't just exercise.. It is about open observation, that allows one to see (by feeling) what resonates with the inner rightness.. To learn to trust in what feels right and good and let go of all that feels tangled and wrong.. 

Yoga practice clears the slate so that we are free of our past.. 

Allows us to put the tangled knot of energetic, mental and emotional yarns down..

And when we pick it up as we leave the mat, we are more clear, the space has allowed it to loosen, and we are lighter. 

We are not our troubles, or the fearful grinding in our heads.. We are the loving-silent light that shines through the eyes and senses into this world, we are the soul that witnesses and delights and mourns in this brief merging of matter and spirit..

...dancing in and out of lifetimes...

Particles and consciousness knowing each other in arrangement after arrangement, and revering the beauty of each other's prism (body & life shape).. Like magnets playing in metal filings, arranging and rearranging intricate plays to stretch the limits of the infinite interface of metaphysical and physical. 

Dare you get stuck in just this current role and story, remember that you are an energy that is neither created nor destroyed, only changing in form. You are the actor, not the play. 

Yoga resets our clarity and connection to the part of us that is untarnishable and beyond this one trip in the world. Set your anchor in what is transient, you will suffer greatly, overwhelmed and confused.. Set your anchor in your consciousness, and you will know your truth without fear again.

Embarasment, Empowering Each Other, & Transcendence

It is not by disappointment in each other, disregard or force that we best catalyze each other's growth... 

When I am at my weakest, it is in seeing my reflection in the heart of those that love me and see nothing but the goodness of my heart, even when I fall far short of that mark, that uplifts and empowers me to face the sharp sting of messing up, to grow stronger and rise above it where I belong, shining brighter. Love ennobles us to transcend our shortcomings gracefully and without trauma.

We learn through our mistakes. It hurts like hell to truly mess up, and the burn serves as a reminder that we carry within, not to make the same mistake again. 

We often let the embarrassment of the revelation of our deficiency trap us in a cycle of shame.. But this is to debilitate ourselves and wallow in our own refuse, and does us not, nor any others, a bit of good. Self-pity is an ugly place to hang out, not very becoming on a human. Not productive in any positive way, it's just a lazy masochistic loop.

The pain of falling flat and messing up is like the wound of food poisoning. We lose all desire to repeat the same offense. We have no desire to eat the same food item for sometimes years or the rest of our days. So do our mistakes serve us, to grow us, if we allow them to be such.

"Love me most when I least deserve it for it is when I am most in need" ~Swedish Proverb 

Somewhere between letting go of unattainable ideals divorced from reality and genuine striving with everything you have within you and maybe just a little more, is a place. I'll meet you there.. Where we are very human, very authentic, and full of love. It is the place where the fullest potential is alive, and where honesty trumps pride. Truth and love, growing patience like a muscle, and total forgiveness are crucial qualities. Within those four pillars, we are everything we are meant to be. Messy, sloppy, sometimes tear-streaked, but full of honest love and reverence. Eyes shining, alive in our greatest potential...

Perfection and embarrassment have new meanings in the truly free spirit's vocabulary.

Perfection is complete honesty and giving all one has to embody their truth externally & internally, in the midst of all the quirks, roadblocks and of reality's detours. Integrity with one's own truth and with reality without resistance..

Embarrassment is the stinging slap of opening one's eyes to see a little clearer, like the clarifying slap to the cheek of one once hysterical. 

Shame has no place in our world, if we learn our lessons and forgive. No one needs an albatross around their neck anymore. We are all human afterall..The perfect wild stormy synthesis between physical and metaphysical energies. All-at-once sacred and just for fun, here we are in our perfect imperfection to love, laugh, cry, grow and revere. 

I Choose Loving You

For you
I will go to the edges of my mind
And let my ego show itself
In resistance
And I will wrestle it down and force it out

For you
In fact I see you being a light by which I better see
What is and isn't me

So for you
I will go to war inside my mind
When it produces an assault on our love
As minds tend to do with the familiar
And love will be made safe

I choose loving you
Because the work I will do
To keep it flourishing
Is the very same work I would do with out
To keep evolving anyhow
And sharing my soul & beauty & joy
With the one man I have ever found
That can appreciate every detail of me
Is something sacred and worthy
And deserves nurturing & protecting

Agony Births Ecstasy

Moods, emotions,

Like waves in the ocean

Come and go

Pulled and pushed 

By unseen forces

But hold tight

Shine on

Let go

Don't you know?

You are not the storms

That assault you

You are not the clutter

In your brain

You are not this flesh

That will become 

Earth 

Again

And 

Again

So take heed,

Have peace

You are the 

Glow of the moon

The shine of the sun

You are The One

Witnessing

This dance

This drama

This destiny

You are not alone

No matter how much 

Your heart aches

Down to your bones

Jaggedly

Tearing at your soul

This pain cannot tarnish

Your never-ending love-light

So don't fight

This pain

Tearing everything

Everything

Away 

Stinging

Agony

Peeling back the layers 

Tearing it all away

Every place you used to hide

This path is not for the faint

Exposing every detail

Of your humanness 

Enjoy the ride

Because for every freshly exposed layer of skin 

Burning as it faces the light

You step closer to a level of ecstasy that few fathom

Fewer accomplish

When outer life and inner light

Are one

The waves of agony

Are the pangs of contraction 

Giving birth to expanded consciousness & sacred action

You are the expansion of the universe

You are the destruction of worlds

You are the conductor of holy light

Giving dimension and meaning 

To the world

By witnessing miracles 

So when you are in the depths

Of agony

Repeat after me:

I am not this sorrow

I am not this pain

This hurt is beckoning me

To accept reality

Open my heart

And seek the light of joy

Happiness radiates

From the light pouring through my eyes

This pain is just the removal 

Of the disguise 

I will not hide

I will not run

I am the loving witness

The warm light of the sun

Let Go.

I can let go
Of anything
Witness the wonder
And I have seen
Countless times
When my world
Has crumbled
And turned to ash
And still
Better came
And I was glad
That my heart
Was torn out of my chest
I have no reason to doubt
But just as each
is better
than the last
This time
It was so sacred
That letting go
Is like destroying
My entire universe twice
And although I still
Must let you go completely
I have resisted
As long as possible
Not because I fear my path
Or lack faith
But because
Of the incredible circumstances
Under which we celebrated
Our union
Miracle upon miracle
And I now am embarrassed
Because I've outstayed my welcome
I have more dignity than this
I know better
I trust the universe
You'll come get me if you want me
And if you don't want me
So be it
The universe will bring better
I have faith
And know it will be so
Even if I myself can't fathom better
So here it is
I can't hold on anymore
And I'm being childish anyhow
So at the count of three
You become neutral to me
And I have no more right to remember you
And you don't exist
Until I heal
I'm sorry it took so long
You were my favorite
But I know better than all this
Much better
One,
Two,
Three.

Show You The Way

Why fight the flow

When you can let go

And grow

Let life show

You the way...

Through your own passion

Don't ration

Your positivity

Creativity

Joy

Love-light

It's endlessly

In supply 

Don't deny

Your potential 

Don't make

Your light

Confidential

Let go

Let it glow

Let love show

You the way..

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

~ follow your passion, love and inner-rightness.. Not always easy, but no excuses, because it's why you exist on earth!!!! 

Blessings for freedom and joy for all beings! Namaste! 

When Divinity Makes Love To Divinity

Never could have known
Until I was shown
By experience

But two souls
Perfectly cleansed
Perfectly attuned
Different
Independent
But one
Completely one,
Can discover God
Inside each other

Divinity
Is the fabric
Of reality
And in your heart
I know this to be true
I knew God
Before I knew you
But never did I know
How I could grow
With another
With a lover
Making love
Not to just a body
(A future corpse)
But to my soul
Sacred union
Of all that is masculine
All that's female
In the eyes,
The tongues
The touches
Of lovers
Who know
That God is love-consciousness
And who pour
Their entire souls
Into each others bodies

Like taking two cups
Of water
And pouring them
Into a third bowl

We remain whole
We are individual sparks
Putting our flames together
In the loving ark
Of two bodies
Together
Sacred meditation
Merging
Revealing
That which is the source of all healing

Finding our aims are one:
shining love-light into the dark
Losing ourselves in each moment
Loving life itself

And in our love-play
God becomes a little more real
Divinity revealed
You inside me
Intentionally
Remembering
The sacredness
Of all
And
Losing the sense
Of our separateness
Our forms become one
The reunion of all that is
The entire universe whole
In each kiss
Nothing but love and delight
Energy
Light

But no one understands
Until their time comes
And they know
From their own
Experiences
What it is when divinity
Makes love to divinity

Two crystals
Reflecting dancing rainbows
Of love and pure delight
Melting individuality
And choosing
To be one

God is in everything everywhere
And can choose
To inhabit the individual forms
Or merge two
Of those forms into
One..
Not halves..
But Two souls joining
Completely
Seamlessly
Losing themselves
In love and joy

Reverent honoring
Of the divinity in each other
God worshipping God
as

Sacred Lover

When Divinity makes love
To Divinity

The Sparrow's Song

We all want to be loved

Hey, we all want to know

That we make someone's heart

Melt

Soul Dance

And in my years 

I have seen

Many connections

Soul mates

Appear

Rise

Fall 

And fade away

Disappear

I have no fear

There only is a certain window

I evolve so fast

We are only on the same page

A brief moment

It cannot last

If the other can't 

keep up

With me

This is my reality.

This is how it goes

Nobody knows

How

Or when

Another 

Comes it goes

As soon as one fades

Though 

Another

Seems to surface...

There is always one 

Deeper than the rest

And several

Several

Trying their best 

To reach me

Standing my ground, 

staying me, 

not stopping 

to appease

No matter how much

 I want

This one to last...

But,

Give me a few moments

Few breaths

To savor this 

And breathe this love

Into my chest

I cannot rest

If it's a lie

I cannot nest

In a disguise..

I can not 

slow down

I will keep flying

Until I've found

one who isn't lying

Though mildly trying

With best intentions

Just not my match

Purpose pauses

It's not coincidence 

My eyes did catch

Upon your eyes

& 

Within your soul

And recognizing you

Brought me closer to my goal

All you soul mates

That cannot match me

You are lanterns

Guiding me in the night sky

Flying into the breeze

Crisp and refreshing,

Almost biting

But not cruel

This wind stirs me to my depths

It's taking me

Somewhere true

Home is where my heart is

And love is who I am

And I still believe 

There is a love for me

One man

I salute the lanterns

Guiding my flight

Keeping me warm

Momentary delight

But I cannot stop

To stay with you

You would fly with me

If that were true

I love you

I bless you

Thank you, 

Dear Soul

This sparrow 

Must keep flying

Into the unknown.

Sent from my iPhone

Stress, Stretching Your Limits, and Transcendence..

The only way to become stronger when you workout is to extend just past your natural, comfortable limits. Well, that truth extends in every direction of life, tangible and intangible alike.

I tell my students regularly that when they practice, they should come to the point of comfort, then let themselves go beyond that, to the realm where it takes work to still breathe rhythmically and keep their facial muscles relaxed. We get to the edge of the comfort zone, and then where we would typically stop, we hover... And breathe.. And burn.. And let the intensity course through our veins and mind. This process is both purifying in our denial of limitation, our bold facing and enveloping of the sensations we may typically run away from, and in the growth it produces. We force ourselves to stretch our awareness to encompass more pieces of information in each split moment, instead of the brain's default maneuver: truncating anything remotely familiar and flattening it to a 2-dimensional version of itself.

This doesn't just happen on the yoga mat, or in the gym, but in our daily lives as well. At least, we are invited into this process, whether we embrace it or not is our choice. We tend to think of stress as something other than life; something we can escape one day, something not present in heaven or nirvana. Stress is ever present though, stress is a major guru in life- the heat and pressure giving us an opportunity and the energy to turn the coal of our untrained mind into the diamond of pure loving awareness and authenticity of spirit.

STRESS AND CHALLENGES ARE NOT OTHER THAN LIFE, SO DON'T KEEP WAITING FOR THEM TO DISAPPEAR BEFORE YOU START LIVING AUTHENTICALLY OR MORE FULLY!! Instead, use stress for what it provides- a potent opportunity for purification and growth. Anyone can be perfectly loving and peaceful on vacation, with zero responsibilities, no time constraints, but it takes an advanced soul to begin to generate love and peace right in the hot mess that is child-rearing, career, time schedules and limitations of time and space. THIS is our opportunity and challenge. THIS is life: life is love... And life is mining for the diamond of love inside yourself and letting its light guide you, not around or avoiding the dark and dangerous areas of life experience, but going right through them, feeling them, aching, hurting, falling, embarrassing yourself, stinging at the mistakes, and this letting that memory of pain motivate you to hold stronger to the truth of your heart in every single situation.

THAT is real life. Those moments where you are completely free from stress are blissful... Pure bliss, and you earn them by learning to dance with stress and welcome it as the training grounds. Eventually, you can handle an astonishing amount of stress without any ill effects, just a great deal of growth. It requires the development of intense self care as well: knowing when to rest, relax, hide, only to recharge and run right back into the ring.

Life is beautiful, amazing, pure love and miracles are unfolding around us and through us constantly. However, stress is part of this gorgeous experience. Stress and other suffering is the catalyst for real growth, real expansion, and the development of true, functional, unshakeable peace.

Let your desire to be a more loving, wise, compassionate, decisive and authentic being pull you through stress, let it motivate your development so that the more it hurts, the more you work on forming habits that express your inner goodness and sense of rightness. Slowly we stretch our limits and retrain our reactions, and down the road a little ways, we can see how far we have truly come. And the journey never stops... This is what it is to be alive as a human being.

Sent from my iPhone