The Beloved

The Beloved

By Laura Harrison

*written in honor of Shyamdas.. A bhavish fellow after my own heart.





You don't have to look to far to see the face of God,
All of Existence is the Face we long to see,


You can't get to the Divine by bypassing the everyday world,
The way is through reality.


In denial of the trials and errs were make,
In throwing away the body, in discarding all desire,
Its the means to the end we seek that we forsake,
How can there be just one path to take?
When that which we seek is omniscient,
omnipotent,
omnipresent?


How can we need a mediator to go between,
Ourselves and the fabric of all that is,
When the same Divine spark is in all that's seen,
All that exists is God...


Breathe, feel and release,
And know that when you kiss your lover,
You are kissing the Beloved,
Beloved loving Itself through Itself,
All is Self, with a capital S,
All distress can be released,
When you trust in the vinyasa of reality,
Like carefully arranged designs created by your desire,
So focus your creative fire,
Embody the vibration of what you want to be,
Focus and feeling state of love, peace and the holy,


The Beloved is smiling at you through everything you see,
Human, animal, inanimate object, rock and tree,
God is the loving-consciousness-fabric of reality,

And the Beloved is the one pulling the strings,
animating breath of conscious underlying everything,
So in your eyes let love's light ring,
And don't deny the sacredness of anything,
But if you take it too seriously your missing..
The point
Is
That
All
we
Are
Is
One.

One playful deity
Dividing into many
In order to experience everything,
To give and receive,
Love, serve, and honor,
To forget,
To remember,
To enjoy being together.

So remember when you kiss your child's face,
Or when experiencing times you wish to erase,
When friends, full of grace,
When Lovers embrace,
When chaos will chase,
Or everything's in its place,
It is all the lila of God.





Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Alone; And Not Alone

Alone; And Not Alone

by Laura Harrison

There was an inherent belief I carried with me,
that chipped away at my sanctity,
I don't understand with all the time alone I've spent,
in strength, and adventure, delight and creativity,
where or when or how it crept in again.


Its as if feeling my own beauty isn't enough if there isn't a man to appreciate it
but I don't feel that way
why did I let my mind drift that way?
Why worry about who or where or when
when I have all of this in each moment?

I have delight, and true happiness,
I have the strength of my two legs connected to the Mother Earth,
I have a son that is the sun and full of everything lovable and joyful
I have creativity, playfulness, poetry,
I have nature,
I have the wisdom and I feel that the Beloved is inside everything.

And while I welcome the day that the Beloved in the form of the partner finds his way to me,
I am no less, and I am in no hurry,
because I love what each day is bringing me,
and it is a sacrilege and ingratitude to look past the light of here and now
with dissatisfaction towards what I think should be here.

I realize the strength of independence comes from the knowledge of connection
and quietly and inconsciously it was the Feeling of The Beloved, loving me,
through me, through the air, through the trees,
through the faces and hearts of everyone I meet,
and it is he that is rocking me to sleep.
The Divine Consciousness that is the fabric of all that is,
feels like light, like the sun shinng through me with love

It is enough to be in love with myself, with my life, with Life Itself,
with the world, all living beings and the Earth,
and when the Beloved in the form of one man finds his way,
that will only add to the beauty of my days,
but I will not compromise nor pretend, for that is to lie,
and I will not pander or beg, though I am not above anyone else in worth,
I have self- respect and I have trust in the unfolding,
that Real Love does not have to be begged, borrowed or feigned.

There is no forever, but there is a conscious choice in each day,
and when the Beloved comes to love me in form of a man,
he must be my equal in all ways, and the Love completely mutual,
so Love is not love that is begged borrowed nor persuaded
and I am loved and I am loved and I know my beauty has not faded.

I do not fade because I do not let a man inside of me
and to be independent isn't a form of poverty,
I am Lover and Beloved, and life is my playground,
I am female power, I am the Mother, I am charm and grace,
and to love freely and smile, to laugh and dance each day,
there is a genuine smile upon my face..

I want what is and what will be,
but will not throw away now for the potential reality

now and the rich potential of unknown are one
and feeling the intensity of that is half the fun.

We are never alone
when we are alone
we are still with our Selves

The One Consciousness of which we are all part
is there with us in our heart.

We are never alone.
Always loved,
and all the demanding and the pointing and the longing is a role, an act, a sleight of hand

Finally, when I remember this, I am FREE!
Freedom is in wanting nothing more then this moment,
and this moment, and this moment,
sowing the seeds of our blossoming by the joyful following of our natural truth in each moment..
and feeling that rightness filled with love..
freedom..
bliss.
we are Lover and Beloved and we are never alone.

Let It Come When It May

Let it Come When It May
By Laura Harrison


I'm letting go of the love I had known,
The love I had found,
I had thought it my own,
And it quickly disintegrated in my hands,
Fell through my fingers,
and left me alone,


But alone, I recall,
Is something I rather enjoy,

But when I think of what I thought I had,
I am in terrible pain,
That tears at my heart and sucks me down to my knees,
That's why holding too tightly to what's past
Is actually a disease..


So I'm breathing and letting go,
And letting go again,
And then letting go of a little more,So that this heartbreak may be useful to wipe the slate clean,
And I will let go of all that is no longer me,I will let go of my past and  let go of him,
Of all I used to be and thought I was,
Of everything I ever knew,

And when I awake, as my eyes open,
It is as if I am seeing the entire universe for the first time,
It is my first smile,
And I am free to be myself..

 

I recall, I need not pander for love,
Everything, everyone, light and nature,
And Love itself loves me,
I am held by the sunlight and it knows me as its own,
I am the sweetness within the sweetness of love,
I am strength, I am Ma Kali..
I am Radha... I am Parvati,...

But I remember myself as perfect just as me,
And I cannot care if you ever love me,
Love comes from all directions and from far beyond form,And I will shine love, and give endlessly my love like the fountain of youth,
But I cannot make time with those whose affections are heavy,
Who crush my light and delicate form,
For I am a flower,
And a flower needs no one to tell her
That she is elegance and grace.
Simply to open and to release her fragrence
is enough.

And I must stay strong and true
To who
I am
Blossoming
Into,

And trust that when I am in full enough bloom
One sweet lover will appreciate
My form and fragrence fully..

And honor me with word and deed,
Breath and desire,
That our love will be weightless,
And our passion a fire
That can last for a while
For a blessed time side by side,
Nourishing each other's wholeness,
Seamless connection of love,
No pressure or boundaries,
No cages, no strings,
But single-pointed, untangled,
Bound by mutual respect and awe,
Deeply desirous and unabridged,
Unselfish and ethereal,
The realest of things.
A love that binds not,
But grants us each wings.
Open and following my heart,
Let it come when it may,
Although hoping and excited,
I find love in each day.
I thought I found a partner,
And must have been wrong,
So I healed the wound where that was torn away,
And I live in the wholeness of my beautiful life,
But with shining, open beckoning,
Let it come when it may.

It is not the wound that hurts so much..

It is not the wound that hurts so much
by Laura Harrison


How quickly things change
how abruptly things rearrange
plans shatter
hopes scatter
and holding on to what is no longer there
or
was never there
but was so desired
is the part that burns

so many hopes
of happy returns
of something that would last
better then the past

the pain
remains
long after the memory of the disdain paid
is laid to rest
because of the fear

the fear of letting go
the fear of being free
the fear of what you know
.. although

you thought this was it
that this one would last
no matter how fresh
your wound is past

so
let it go
let it go
let it go
let it go

and you will find
that it is not the wound that hurts so much
as your fierce reluctance
to accept that your false hopes
are not reality

let it go
 and you'll be free

and for a minute there is an empty space in the middle of your heart
but if you turn your attention to living your life you'll start
to fill that space with life and love
and in no time
the wound is long gone

only time and being fully here
to the rest of your life,
not just the pain,
will bring you healing
and allow you to perservere

The Last Thing I Wanted to Be (was a burden to you)

The Last Thing I Wanted to Be, (was a burden to you)
by Laura Harrison



It is a miracle that we ever even met,
and it was with my whole heart that I said,
I will grant you anything you need.

The one thing you wanted,
seems to be the hardest possible thing
that I could do for you.

How its ripping my heart out not to be near you,
not to hear your voice,
not to tell you what you have come to mean to me.
not to even know if you ever want to know me,
because you don't want me to show me

But its true,
I was all in with you,
but you were not ready
to open up and see me,
you weren't there,
as much as you wished you were.

And I forgive that,
I forgive the way you acted,
I forgive that you were closed,
if you can understand,
and forgive me
that feeling the bond between us
suddenly stop,
and grow cold,
brought me more pain then I could possibly hold.
how it killed me
that
the
One
thing
you needed
was
for me
to set
you free

when all I wanted to do was love you
with all the love
and sunlight
and warmth
contained in the entire universe.

And even though my sharing became a burden on your shoulders
my world still grew colder
when suddenly I could no longer
share my life with you.

Perhaps it was all an illusion.

There is nothing else I can do
but feel this agony for you
and pray that if you do love me
you will come to me
come into my world
with that giant heart of yours
and want to know me,
and that you will be as hungry
for me
as I always was for you.

Or that at least
if its through,
you'll make it clear to me,
the last thing I want to be,
is
a
burden
to you.

Consecrate This Pain

Introduction: this poem is about those bittersweet times when unconditional love asks us to let go of someone we love, someone we loved more then we could've ever imagined.
Its also about pain, pain is inevitable in life, and we have to not resist it, not bottle it, but let it tear through us, let it crack our hearts wide open, to cry, to let the energy move and pass. We can dedicate our pain to the healing of others, and then, somehow it becomes a blessing to feel it, for the sake of someone we love.CONSECRATE THIS PAIN
-Laura Harrison  I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to let you go,As soon as I knew.
I could see
You
Were struggling
To open up to me
I knew long before..
Before I had the strength to let you goAnd
I promise
To listen
Much sooner
Much sooner
Forever more.I dragged it out,
I had to doubt,
But I knew you weren't mine to hold,
I just wanted you to be,
So badly.
I am open, I trust fully,
I trust in you, myself, and in reality,
In honoring the way you needed to pull away
And disconnect from me,
I realized just how much you've come to mean to me.
But for weeks it was a burden
That you didn't need to bare
And it tears my heart to shredsSo if I truly care, then
My only choice
Was to silence the voice
Of my growing love for you,
And since I love you more then my own need
The only right thing was to follow through,
Let go of you,
And hope my absence helps your healing speed.
I know its right, and my heart is true,
And I will dedicate this suffering to you..I wish for your own peace more then my own. I consecrate this pain,
To take the weight off you,
May every tear I cry
Help to set you free,
You owe me nothing,
But this your gift from meSo let me take the pain for you,
Let me bare the burden,
May my suffering set you free..
Let my agony,
Cleanse your own,
I want to do this for you,
Even if you will never love me.
I may be far away,
But I know we are all energy,
And in my deep desire to serve you,
May my devastation set you free.i'm not alone. But I miss you. I wish that I could kiss you. I wish that I could be the one to hold and console, but painfully for me, that doesn't seem to be my role.  That is not my reality.

And for you
I'd keep living with this pain,
As long as you need,
I'll keep crying myself to sleep,
And missing your warmth,
And pray that the love was not a fantasy.
And that you'll be back for me.
 And even if it was,
I wouldn't change a thing,
To know you is an amazing gift,
You have changed everything.
I won't dwell, longer then my stay, this time.
I won't hold on to the pain,
It won't take me under,
But the agony comes in waves,
And I can't help but cry,
I refuse to let it take me asunder,
This pain will only open my heart wider,
And if and when you're ready for me,
I'll only be stronger,
shine brighter,
And we'll both be
glad I set you free.

That Which Was, Is No More

That Which Was, Is No More
by Laura Harrison

Glass shatters, hope splatters
nothing else in the world matters

The heavy night sky has fallen in
and life will never be the same again

That which was, is no more
and that which is, was never before

my world has forever changed
the universe itelf has rearranged

half numb, tense, ready to fight
stomach sick, nothing is right

the heavy night sky has fallen in
and life will never be the same again

there is a vaccum in my chest
this information is putrid to digest

a chain of smoke, headache and sorrow
this heartache won't be gone tomorrow

the color from my face drains
and acid tears through my veins

my hallowed hollow body burns
my dizzy head in tired circles turns

the heavy night sky has fallen in
and life will never be the same again

That which was, is no more
and that which is, never was before.