Monday, December 31, 2012

Consecrate This Pain

Introduction: this poem is about those bittersweet times when unconditional love asks us to let go of someone we love, someone we loved more then we could've ever imagined.
Its also about pain, pain is inevitable in life, and we have to not resist it, not bottle it, but let it tear through us, let it crack our hearts wide open, to cry, to let the energy move and pass. We can dedicate our pain to the healing of others, and then, somehow it becomes a blessing to feel it, for the sake of someone we love.CONSECRATE THIS PAIN
-Laura Harrison
  I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to let you go,As soon as I knew.
I could see
Were struggling
To open up to me

I knew long before..
Before I had the strength to let you go
I promise
To listen
Much sooner
Much sooner
Forever more.
I dragged it out,
I had to doubt,
But I knew you weren't mine to hold,
I just wanted you to be,
So badly.
I am open, I trust fully,
I trust in you, myself, and in reality,

In honoring the way you needed to pull away
And disconnect from me,
I realized just how much you've come to mean to me.

But for weeks it was a burden
That you didn't need to bare
And it tears my heart to shreds
So if I truly care, then
My only choice
Was to silence the voice
Of my growing love for you,
And since I love you more then my own need
The only right thing was to follow through,
Let go of you,
And hope my absence helps your healing speed.

I know its right, and my heart is true,
And I will dedicate this suffering to you..
I wish for your own peace more then my own. I consecrate this pain,
To take the weight off you,
May every tear I cry
Help to set you free,
You owe me nothing,
But this your gift from me
So let me take the pain for you,
Let me bare the burden,
May my suffering set you free..
Let my agony,
Cleanse your own,
I want to do this for you,
Even if you will never love me.

I may be far away,
But I know we are all energy,
And in my deep desire to serve you,
May my devastation set you free.
i'm not alone. But I miss you. I wish that I could kiss you. I wish that I could be the one to hold and console, but painfully for me, that doesn't seem to be my role.  That is not my reality.

And for you
I'd keep living with this pain,
As long as you need,
I'll keep crying myself to sleep,
And missing your warmth,
And pray that the love was not a fantasy.

And that you'll be back for me.
 And even if it was,
I wouldn't change a thing,
To know you is an amazing gift,
You have changed everything.

I won't dwell, longer then my stay, this time.
I won't hold on to the pain,
It won't take me under,
But the agony comes in waves,
And I can't help but cry,
I refuse to let it take me asunder,
This pain will only open my heart wider,
And if and when you're ready for me,
I'll only be stronger,
shine brighter,
And we'll both be
glad I set you free.

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