With a Tint of Melancholy
By Laura Harrison
everything has a purpose,
pain is a cracking open,
to feel,
to even greater depths,
heart wider each time you heal.
so why are you fighting reality?
will banging your fists change a thing?
or ask yourself what you are resisting,
and stop,
to begin to live your life gracefully.
we all feel pain, we all have truths,
that are too painful to accept
as real
all at once
it is a pain so sharp
so jagged
so tearing to our flesh
like searing and scooping out the organs
sucking all the wind from the lungs
pulling all of the light from the sky...
I know these pains,
I have felt them too,
but I have learned
a new way
to not deny the agony
to feel the inconsolable pain
but not to take it into me
and crystalize it
and tell myself lies
like
"this pain is me"
or to form around it
as if it were my identity..
to do so is to build a monument in the middle of my mind,
to lay out a shrine of worship,
to that which I wish didn't exist..
it is the surest way to misery.
So I do not deny my agony,
instead I let it tear through me,
I let the tears flow,
I face it,
I feel it,
but I
let
it
go.
I don't let my brain obsess,
I confess, it becomes easier with time,
I feel the misery,
I feel everything else,
and I don't close against the pain,
I open like a flower,
I blossom into reality,
and instantly,
even in agony,
I am free.
Try,
try it,
try it over and over again,
and breath by breath,
it will
eventually,
set you free.
Give it time,
and when you suffer,
ask yourself what you are fighting,
and your awareness
will begin highlighting
all the ways you resisted your salvation.
I am not saying there is a promise of no pain,
but suffering is an option that is caused in your brain
stop rejecting what already is,
and you are already free,
and your joy may not always be complete,
but it will be deep,
sublime,
steady,
with tint of melancholy.
Showing posts with label flow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flow. Show all posts
Friday, February 1, 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
Embarrassment As Teacher (and exploration of Gunas)
Written for Healing Springs Journal's Feb/March 2013 issue:
The Role of Embarrassment As Teacher
and exploring the Gunas to understand energy and experiences in spiritual growth
by Laura Harrison
It hurts to be embarrassed by our actions. It burns our hearts to make mistakes, it is a complete and almost unbearable form of vulnerability, belly exposed and everyone can see our fallibility. Most people stop there, dwell, form hardened scars, and carry a heavy collection of regrets. But this is not where consciousness is asking us to stop, that is not the intended usage of such experiences. Instead, we stop, and feel that pain, and sit with it, recognizing it, and openly observe. Pieces settle into place. We can journal, talk to friends, practice meditation, energy healing, or yoga asanas. We can connect with animals or nature, walking and hiking, or sitting peacefully. We can think, and we can more importantly cultivate spaciousness... the spaces between the thoughts, and the pieces fall into place, insight arises, and the pain has become an agent for our spiritual development.
The regular and unconscious response to pain and discomfort is to avoid it. We tense against it, we close.. this is resistance. We learn in the path of mindfulness to instead open wider, to offer NO resisitance as we observe all phenomena, all experiences equally without judgment or favoring. What happens when we cease to resist the pain, is that we feel it more accutely and intensely, but it leaves us more open, more free, and more conscious. We can learn from the pain- the sting of embarrassment teaches us not to repeat the same mistakes, like the memory of a burned hand teaches us not to touch a hot pan, or the memory of food poisoning provides a visceral reminder to be more cautious of what we eat.
The evolution of consciousness that we are all undertaking as embodied souls requires this trial-and-error process. As we raise our awareness, as our energy changes, that which used to serve us no longer does. Old habits that were real and important and part of us before, are no longer connected to who we are. These ghosts need to be released. This requires a humbling sense of openess and flexibility of mind, and it can be hard to imagine that those who know us can adapt as our personality evolves with us. However, people connect, disconnect, and sometimes reconnect as their energies are harmonious or disharmonious. Fear of loneliness cannot prevent our evolution, because when one person leaves, another will come. We are here to live our truth, no matter what the cost. And furthermore, if we do not live our truth, we will suffer deep inside, and that suffering will grow like a disease and eventually cause so much ugliness and hurt that we will begin to take it out on others. It never does us or others justice to maintain falseness.
Spirtiual Puberty
This process of uncomfortable yet delightful evolution is almost like puberty.. with all the awkwardness and embarrassment, confusion, agonizing discomfort, getting lost, figuring, exploring and blossoming into deeper and deeper levels of confidence, strength, and more palpable connections to inner rightness and truth. Just like puberty, the changes are happening, if we wish them to or not. It makes it harder if we fight reality, and since that would be futile, it only makes sense to open wider and wider to the painful but beautiful lessons we earn.
Everything happens in natural cycles; seasons of light and dark, birth and death and rebirth. Life in the physical is filled with nested spirals of evolution; microcosms tucked majestically into macrocosms. Linear paths are typically human in invention, everything else spirals around and around. Forgetting and remembering are part of the journey. Loneliness and rediscovery of interconnection are part of the path as well. As are mistakes and forgiveness
In yoga philosophy, the Gunas are used as a handy way of discussing different qualities in energy. Our cycles of evolution can be seen and understood more with the help of these ideas. Don't worry about grasping the idea and labelling things.. let it help you to articulate what you already feel in your experiences.
The Gunas
There are three gunas. All three are present in all of us, but certain energies, people, or actions can have a strong dominance of one guna in particular. Remember that these labels are to help you articulate and process what you feel, so maybe meditate on an example of each and feel the differences in the qualities of energy.
Tamas is the guna of stillness, of lethargy, of delusion, darkness and depression. It is present in aparent solidness and stagnation. It is part of the "darkness" of negativity, the delusion that we are seperate and the objectifiying other beings and taking advantage of them out of fear or greed. Depression and being overweight are states of excess tamas as heaviness. Tamas is also present in sleep and consistancy, so it is not all negative.
Rajas is excited movement. It is nervous energy, anxiety, scattered or flighty minds. It is like too much caffeine or hyperactivity. It is the inability to sit still, the need to be in constant motion or stimulation. It is chaotic and can be draining because it is unguided. It is abundant, unfocused energy.
Sattva is extreme energy, but where rajas is also extreme energy, rajas is out of balance, and sattva is in balance, focusing that energy into one flow, like a laser. Sattva is considered the higher and lighter state of energy and it is the goal to cultivate an abundance of sattva versus rajas or tamas, according to Vedic philosophy. It is great peace, great love, the ability to accept what is in each moment without fear or resistance.
The trick is that we can demonize all the other states of being. We can demonize the pain of embarrassment. We can demonize ourselves for learning slowly over many painful experiences, but it doesn't make sense to kill the messenger, to hate the process, the journey. Life IS a journey, your everyday life is your spiritual path. Vacation isn't the only time to be free and accept the flow. Its here and now. In the painful AND blissful experiences of life alike, we are evolving, growing, and becoming free of all the chains we've allowed to bind us. In every moment we are living our life, choosing how to write our story. And it takes patience, acceptance, and experiences of all kinds to hone the spirit in its interface with the physical.
Without the movement of rajas, we can never transcend tamas. We learn to process the massively intense amount of spiritual energy that is present in each moment, and at first we are distracted and scattered and thrown back and forth between tamas and rajas. Then we learn to ride the ship, to yield and move with the flow in grace, and we touch sattvic states. Eventually, we rarely taste tamas, and we learn faster and faster to cultivate our rajas into sattva. We become balanced and whole again, our essential state, our Self, shines brighter then ever before. We meet our Self.
The recent universal shift in energy was from rajas to sattva I believe, that is how I am experiencing it.. so instead of being bombarded by rajas, we are becoming surronded by sattva.
Our journey is individual, but we all go through it, it is universal as well. Don't hold too tightly to anything, let it all flow through you and your experience, and as it does. Drop the judgement. Drop the false sense of control. Drop all the ideas of saving face, or what your face really is. Who you are is a constantly refreshed river, always new. Open wide and let pain and pleasure, highs and lows teach you, they burn off all that is no longer serving your journey and fll you with fresh love and light. Balance dilligence and receptivity, and you will learn the dance. Let the experience be your guide.
Laura Harrison is the founder of the Natural Yoga Method, and the director of Enlighten Yoga in Amsterdam, NY. She is a yoga instructor, life coach, vegan/raw chef, mom, nature lover, artist, and poet. For more information see EnlightenAmsterdam.com or LauraLovesTheUniverse.com or call her at 518-866-3621.
The Role of Embarrassment As Teacher
and exploring the Gunas to understand energy and experiences in spiritual growth
by Laura Harrison
It hurts to be embarrassed by our actions. It burns our hearts to make mistakes, it is a complete and almost unbearable form of vulnerability, belly exposed and everyone can see our fallibility. Most people stop there, dwell, form hardened scars, and carry a heavy collection of regrets. But this is not where consciousness is asking us to stop, that is not the intended usage of such experiences. Instead, we stop, and feel that pain, and sit with it, recognizing it, and openly observe. Pieces settle into place. We can journal, talk to friends, practice meditation, energy healing, or yoga asanas. We can connect with animals or nature, walking and hiking, or sitting peacefully. We can think, and we can more importantly cultivate spaciousness... the spaces between the thoughts, and the pieces fall into place, insight arises, and the pain has become an agent for our spiritual development.
The regular and unconscious response to pain and discomfort is to avoid it. We tense against it, we close.. this is resistance. We learn in the path of mindfulness to instead open wider, to offer NO resisitance as we observe all phenomena, all experiences equally without judgment or favoring. What happens when we cease to resist the pain, is that we feel it more accutely and intensely, but it leaves us more open, more free, and more conscious. We can learn from the pain- the sting of embarrassment teaches us not to repeat the same mistakes, like the memory of a burned hand teaches us not to touch a hot pan, or the memory of food poisoning provides a visceral reminder to be more cautious of what we eat.
The evolution of consciousness that we are all undertaking as embodied souls requires this trial-and-error process. As we raise our awareness, as our energy changes, that which used to serve us no longer does. Old habits that were real and important and part of us before, are no longer connected to who we are. These ghosts need to be released. This requires a humbling sense of openess and flexibility of mind, and it can be hard to imagine that those who know us can adapt as our personality evolves with us. However, people connect, disconnect, and sometimes reconnect as their energies are harmonious or disharmonious. Fear of loneliness cannot prevent our evolution, because when one person leaves, another will come. We are here to live our truth, no matter what the cost. And furthermore, if we do not live our truth, we will suffer deep inside, and that suffering will grow like a disease and eventually cause so much ugliness and hurt that we will begin to take it out on others. It never does us or others justice to maintain falseness.
Spirtiual Puberty
This process of uncomfortable yet delightful evolution is almost like puberty.. with all the awkwardness and embarrassment, confusion, agonizing discomfort, getting lost, figuring, exploring and blossoming into deeper and deeper levels of confidence, strength, and more palpable connections to inner rightness and truth. Just like puberty, the changes are happening, if we wish them to or not. It makes it harder if we fight reality, and since that would be futile, it only makes sense to open wider and wider to the painful but beautiful lessons we earn.
Everything happens in natural cycles; seasons of light and dark, birth and death and rebirth. Life in the physical is filled with nested spirals of evolution; microcosms tucked majestically into macrocosms. Linear paths are typically human in invention, everything else spirals around and around. Forgetting and remembering are part of the journey. Loneliness and rediscovery of interconnection are part of the path as well. As are mistakes and forgiveness
In yoga philosophy, the Gunas are used as a handy way of discussing different qualities in energy. Our cycles of evolution can be seen and understood more with the help of these ideas. Don't worry about grasping the idea and labelling things.. let it help you to articulate what you already feel in your experiences.
The Gunas
There are three gunas. All three are present in all of us, but certain energies, people, or actions can have a strong dominance of one guna in particular. Remember that these labels are to help you articulate and process what you feel, so maybe meditate on an example of each and feel the differences in the qualities of energy.
Tamas is the guna of stillness, of lethargy, of delusion, darkness and depression. It is present in aparent solidness and stagnation. It is part of the "darkness" of negativity, the delusion that we are seperate and the objectifiying other beings and taking advantage of them out of fear or greed. Depression and being overweight are states of excess tamas as heaviness. Tamas is also present in sleep and consistancy, so it is not all negative.
Rajas is excited movement. It is nervous energy, anxiety, scattered or flighty minds. It is like too much caffeine or hyperactivity. It is the inability to sit still, the need to be in constant motion or stimulation. It is chaotic and can be draining because it is unguided. It is abundant, unfocused energy.
Sattva is extreme energy, but where rajas is also extreme energy, rajas is out of balance, and sattva is in balance, focusing that energy into one flow, like a laser. Sattva is considered the higher and lighter state of energy and it is the goal to cultivate an abundance of sattva versus rajas or tamas, according to Vedic philosophy. It is great peace, great love, the ability to accept what is in each moment without fear or resistance.
The trick is that we can demonize all the other states of being. We can demonize the pain of embarrassment. We can demonize ourselves for learning slowly over many painful experiences, but it doesn't make sense to kill the messenger, to hate the process, the journey. Life IS a journey, your everyday life is your spiritual path. Vacation isn't the only time to be free and accept the flow. Its here and now. In the painful AND blissful experiences of life alike, we are evolving, growing, and becoming free of all the chains we've allowed to bind us. In every moment we are living our life, choosing how to write our story. And it takes patience, acceptance, and experiences of all kinds to hone the spirit in its interface with the physical.
Without the movement of rajas, we can never transcend tamas. We learn to process the massively intense amount of spiritual energy that is present in each moment, and at first we are distracted and scattered and thrown back and forth between tamas and rajas. Then we learn to ride the ship, to yield and move with the flow in grace, and we touch sattvic states. Eventually, we rarely taste tamas, and we learn faster and faster to cultivate our rajas into sattva. We become balanced and whole again, our essential state, our Self, shines brighter then ever before. We meet our Self.
The recent universal shift in energy was from rajas to sattva I believe, that is how I am experiencing it.. so instead of being bombarded by rajas, we are becoming surronded by sattva.
Our journey is individual, but we all go through it, it is universal as well. Don't hold too tightly to anything, let it all flow through you and your experience, and as it does. Drop the judgement. Drop the false sense of control. Drop all the ideas of saving face, or what your face really is. Who you are is a constantly refreshed river, always new. Open wide and let pain and pleasure, highs and lows teach you, they burn off all that is no longer serving your journey and fll you with fresh love and light. Balance dilligence and receptivity, and you will learn the dance. Let the experience be your guide.
Laura Harrison is the founder of the Natural Yoga Method, and the director of Enlighten Yoga in Amsterdam, NY. She is a yoga instructor, life coach, vegan/raw chef, mom, nature lover, artist, and poet. For more information see EnlightenAmsterdam.com or LauraLovesTheUniverse.com or call her at 518-866-3621.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
On My Knees in Gratitude
On My Knees In Gratitude
by Laura Harrison
I see the pieces of my life falling into place
and I think one of those pieces may just be your face
my world is changing so fast that I can't hold on
I think that is exactly how I'm supposed to respond
let
it
go
let it come
let
come
what
may
each day
as my concepts and expectations are destroyed
and my plans lie in ruin
my eyes remain shining and wide
looking at the glistening moment
and I see the way
to a more genuine life
if I give up on what I think it should be
I am free
to be completely,
to BE
without constraint
without restraint
without chains or filters
or justification
or social stratification
I AM but this
one loving spark
shining my own little light
into the dark,
and if I can succeed at dropping
all greed and the pre-conceived
I can see with every cell
feel with every particle
the magnificent sublimity
and playful simplicity
and if only for a moment
glimpse the radiant web of life
weaving unlimited possibility into being.
Believing is in seeing,
when I see,
amidst all possibility,
that there is even room for you and me,
to meet,
for the Universe to bend,
in order to send,
me my every need and dream.
Life is the manifestation of miraculous reality.
by Laura Harrison
I see the pieces of my life falling into place
and I think one of those pieces may just be your face
my world is changing so fast that I can't hold on
I think that is exactly how I'm supposed to respond
let
it
go
let it come
let
come
what
may
each day
as my concepts and expectations are destroyed
and my plans lie in ruin
my eyes remain shining and wide
looking at the glistening moment
and I see the way
to a more genuine life
if I give up on what I think it should be
I am free
to be completely,
to BE
without constraint
without restraint
without chains or filters
or justification
or social stratification
I AM but this
one loving spark
shining my own little light
into the dark,
and if I can succeed at dropping
all greed and the pre-conceived
I can see with every cell
feel with every particle
the magnificent sublimity
and playful simplicity
and if only for a moment
glimpse the radiant web of life
weaving unlimited possibility into being.
Believing is in seeing,
when I see,
amidst all possibility,
that there is even room for you and me,
to meet,
for the Universe to bend,
in order to send,
me my every need and dream.
Life is the manifestation of miraculous reality.
Revel in This Moment
Revel in This Moment
by Laura Harrison
Let go of all this thinking and knowing,
life is a flowing,
a showing.
Habits are residential,
but not essential,
they are not
WHAT WE ARE,
look far.
far,
deeper to see,
to feel,
your frequency...
energy
synergy
intention
attention
re-invention without convention
serendipity
synchronicity
life happens in endless cycling
re-incarnation is recycling
and vice versa
open your eye
life is diverser,
first appearances deceive,
open up to receive
lose yourself to find your Self again,
and again,
only you're always evolving,
though in your revolving,
you never find the same self twice..
..take my advice:
stop trying so hard to uphold
all the expectations of old
being yourself requires being bold
you aren't hurting others by being real
the only ones you'll anger are those yet afraid to feel
half as free
as you
can
allow yourself to be
being free is the name of the game
being yourself is not a shame
you have no one but yourself to blame
if you aren't happy in your daily life
compassion only grows when you are brave enough to live your truth
to rise to every occaision
to offer the standing ovation
to recognize that another's strength is NOT your weakness
is to let the beauty of others make you more beautiful
be dutiful to the truth of your own heart
stop thinking!
Love, creativity, beauty, the magical things in life are never logical
and
cannot be contained
in the little mind
so expand
let go
open wide
like the sky
and revel is this moment in your own way,
and revel is this moment in your own way,
and revel is this moment in your own way.....
by Laura Harrison
Let go of all this thinking and knowing,
life is a flowing,
a showing.
Habits are residential,
but not essential,
they are not
WHAT WE ARE,
look far.
far,
deeper to see,
to feel,
your frequency...
energy
synergy
intention
attention
re-invention without convention
serendipity
synchronicity
life happens in endless cycling
re-incarnation is recycling
and vice versa
open your eye
life is diverser,
first appearances deceive,
open up to receive
lose yourself to find your Self again,
and again,
only you're always evolving,
though in your revolving,
you never find the same self twice..
..take my advice:
stop trying so hard to uphold
all the expectations of old
being yourself requires being bold
you aren't hurting others by being real
the only ones you'll anger are those yet afraid to feel
half as free
as you
can
allow yourself to be
being free is the name of the game
being yourself is not a shame
you have no one but yourself to blame
if you aren't happy in your daily life
compassion only grows when you are brave enough to live your truth
to rise to every occaision
to offer the standing ovation
to recognize that another's strength is NOT your weakness
is to let the beauty of others make you more beautiful
be dutiful to the truth of your own heart
stop thinking!
Love, creativity, beauty, the magical things in life are never logical
and
cannot be contained
in the little mind
so expand
let go
open wide
like the sky
and revel is this moment in your own way,
and revel is this moment in your own way,
and revel is this moment in your own way.....
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