Friday, February 1, 2013

With a Tint of Melancholy

With a Tint of Melancholy

By Laura Harrison

everything has a purpose,
pain is a cracking open,
to feel,
to even greater depths,
heart wider each time you heal.

so why are you fighting reality?
will banging your fists change a thing?
or ask yourself what you are resisting,
and stop,

to begin to live your life gracefully.

we all feel pain, we all have truths,
that are too painful to accept
as real
all at once
it is a pain so sharp
so jagged
so tearing to our flesh
like searing and scooping out the organs
sucking all the wind from the lungs
pulling all of the light from the sky...

I know these pains,
I have felt them too,
but I have learned
a new way

to not deny the agony
to feel the inconsolable pain
but not to take it into me
and crystalize it
and tell myself lies
"this pain is me"
or to form around it
as if it were my identity..
to do so is to build a monument in the middle of my mind,
to lay out a shrine of worship,
to that which I wish didn't exist..
it is the surest way to misery.

So I do not deny my agony,
instead I let it tear through me,
I let the tears flow,
I face it,
I feel it,
but I

I don't let my brain obsess,
I confess, it becomes easier with time,
I feel the misery,
I feel everything else,
and I don't close against the pain,
I open like a flower,
I blossom into reality,
and instantly,
even in agony,
I am free.

try it,
try it over and over again,
and breath by breath,
it will
set you free.

Give it time,
and when you suffer,
ask yourself what you are fighting,
and your awareness
will begin highlighting
all the ways you resisted your salvation.

I am not saying there is a promise of no pain,
but suffering is an option that is caused in your brain

stop rejecting what already is,
and you are already free,
and your joy may not always be complete,
but it will be deep,
with tint of melancholy.

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