Never Settle

I want to get down on my hands and knees
and put my head to the earth
Crying happy tears,
Crying thank you, and please!!
For in all of my searching no man has seen my worth

But you

You do
-


For all I have given
I have never been seen
I've been sought, taken and forsaken
One too many times
And I refused to abide

I didn't make the rules to game
But I took the reigns
And sent them away
-I no longer wanted to play


Worthless sentiments
And condescending compliments
Walking on eggshells
Men with no honor
Patting me on the head
Empty heads, lights out,
Checked out, soul hidden behind a wall
Doesn't matter what that soul looks like
If they choose to bury it behind brick and mortar
In a basement, dingy dark and stairs steep
It's they who choose to sleep
Refuse to keep
Integrity

They made me sick
They made me tired
But I forced myself at the worst of times
To never abandon my desire..
For what I deserve

I may have stayed longer than I should've
But I did know how to let it go

I fought with everything to preserve
My sanctity
My faith
In my own heart
And in life

And I have won
-

So to you all
I say

When you are the most sick and tired,
When you no longer wish to play

Walk away.
And hold on...

Not to the users, the abusers
Weak-willed & hypocritical
Living in hypotheticals
Taking
Draining you

Love is not love
That suffocates

Do not negate
Your value
For a half-manifestation
Close but no cigar
You've come too far
In your life
To resign to tolerate
Horrible treatment
Don't settle.

Walk away
And hold on.

Never settle.

I'd rather sleep alone
Than with a poser or a prick
People pretending to be so conscious
Afraid to look in the mirror
They make me sick

Don't waste your time
With one who refuses to grow
And you had better face the mirror
Face the music
Do the work
Walk your talk

Strive to uphold your integrity
Live your life, follow your inspirations
And don't worry

And never settle..
And your day will come..

One
Worthy
Of
Your love.

Adventure Out Of Your Comfort Zone to Stand Firmly in Your Strength

Life works best when we love ourselves.

That truth used to slap me in the face when I chronically had low self-esteem.. (ages 7-25)..

..but it is true.. if it angers you to read that, reflect for a moment on why.. is it because you have a hard time loving yourself?.... and why??.....

My mom gave up her career in her early twenties to take care of my dad, who wasn't bed-ridden, but not fully independent anyways. She lived a hard, sheltered, and lonely childhood... had a few years of freedom, and then met daddy, and loved him with her whole heart, and gave her whole life to caring for him. But she denied herself full independence. She didn't learn to drive. She didn't go on adventures. She stayed sheltered. With daddy being sick, this all has become apparent to me.. my mom's nervousness and self-consciousness makes this brilliant and charming woman scared or anxious whenever she leaves the house, worried about what others think of her and feeling wierd about trusting herself.. no freedom. I remember when I used to be that way.. its such constriction of the life energy, it's such debilitating anxiousness.. and we all have this at moments, or have battled with it more then we have ever admitted.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.  Anais Nin


It makes me thank God that I was presented the opportunities to adventure outside of my comfort zone, and that I TOOK them! We all have opportunites presented to us.. but we don't allow ourselves to rise to them.. I'm too tired, I can't do that, that's OK, no... all the excuses to stay tightly closed in our buds, we refuse to blossom until the self-hating fatigue, until the tragedy, until the natural disaster, that FORCES us to open to life and start saying YES!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.   Anais Nin

The new and unfamiliar is uncomfortable, but is an inherent experience in learning.. if we stop learning, growing, or changing, we stagnate, and to stagnate is to begin dying. I think all the adventures, as I call them, that I have experienced over the years.

Currently, I have made a giant hospital feel like my home, instead of clinging fearfully to the known areas, I explored, and made a new mental map.. met new wonderful people, developed new understanding, and reinforced and grew my own sense of strength, independence, and confidence. This has helped me to have the fearlessness needed to hear and follow my own inner-rightness. In following inner-rightness (or heart, or intuition, or inner-truth, as I also refer to it interchangably as) I feel my connection to the Whole very strongly. It is amazing, how developing a strong, but unselfish, sense of independence, is the greatest link to connect to oneness.

Be brave, explore your world. Try new things. Ask questions. Make eye contact. Don't let yourself freeze up. Take that trip alone, learn that new skill, visit, offer, dance, live, love, love, love!

This is your life.

Foster your own strength and indepence, it's like connecting your energetic roots to the earth.. strong legs, healthy base chakra, so that the rest of your being can bloom! Stand tall, breathe, feel, respond intuitively, don't waste time overthinking. Respond from your inner-rightness.

Get out of your comfot zone for a few minutes a day to grow your self-esteem. You will start to experience the greatest miracles and blessings in your world.

Once you become strong in you life, you love yourself.. you are in love with your Self and your life.. and you won't make the mistake of compromising your Self and Truth to pander for love.. you will have the strength and delight that breathes patience into your heart to give and receive love freely and not cling, but await greater and greater levels of love and intimacy. They are coming. Magic is happening. 

with Great Love.. Laura