Friday, January 4, 2013

The Last Thing I Wanted to Be (was a burden to you)

The Last Thing I Wanted to Be, (was a burden to you)
by Laura Harrison

It is a miracle that we ever even met,
and it was with my whole heart that I said,
I will grant you anything you need.

The one thing you wanted,
seems to be the hardest possible thing
that I could do for you.

How its ripping my heart out not to be near you,
not to hear your voice,
not to tell you what you have come to mean to me.
not to even know if you ever want to know me,
because you don't want me to show me

But its true,
I was all in with you,
but you were not ready
to open up and see me,
you weren't there,
as much as you wished you were.

And I forgive that,
I forgive the way you acted,
I forgive that you were closed,
if you can understand,
and forgive me
that feeling the bond between us
suddenly stop,
and grow cold,
brought me more pain then I could possibly hold.
how it killed me
you needed
for me
to set
you free

when all I wanted to do was love you
with all the love
and sunlight
and warmth
contained in the entire universe.

And even though my sharing became a burden on your shoulders
my world still grew colder
when suddenly I could no longer
share my life with you.

Perhaps it was all an illusion.

There is nothing else I can do
but feel this agony for you
and pray that if you do love me
you will come to me
come into my world
with that giant heart of yours
and want to know me,
and that you will be as hungry
for me
as I always was for you.

Or that at least
if its through,
you'll make it clear to me,
the last thing I want to be,
to you.

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