Poison As The Antidote

It's time
I see
I didn't know
I needed to release
Until the poison
Seeped deeply
Wicked up
inside of me
I resisted
Unrelentless
In my Pursuit
Of the truth
I strived
To stay alive
And learn I did
Survive I did


I let the acrid
bitter
Bitchiness
Scour off the shell
I can't blame
it all
on the boys
In men's clothing
But their loathing
Was toxic
To an extraordinary degree
Slowly eating away
At my bliss
and
Stripping me
Of my freedom
By strapping
Cinder blocks
Of heavy cynicism
And the judgement
of their insecurity
On my delicate
Loving
Form

But
It wasn't theirs alone
it dragged
Old scars
up
from the well
From many moons
Many lifetimes ago

The heaviness
That I once endured
And fought so hard
To become pure of
A Renaissance
Of joy and ease

And their heavy hands
Shattered
My delicate figurine form
Ridiculed my grace
And pushed me down
So that they could feel strong
When we were
Face to face

Sometimes you don't know
Until you are ill
When someone doses you slowly
And out of love
You drink your fill
It can take many years
Before you see
That "the one I loved
Was poisoning me"

So the lead you
We're pouring
Down
My throat
When I was
Asleep
Was not enough
To kill me
And
Not enough to keep
Me from opening
my eyes
And
From learning to rise
Once again

And I used
It to learn
How to become
Even
More free
And how to
More sharply attune
To my reality

I watch myself
And though
I was graced
To keep it
Mainly
At
Bay

I feel the bitter
Chunky
Vomitus
Energy
Pouring out of me
I choke on the bit
Like sawdust and sputum
Violently bitter..

The sway of my hips
My sweetness of tone
My kind, loving gaze
My joy when alone
My peace
My smile
My acceptance

I am slowly floating back to the surface
To the light of me
Back to my beauty
Again I can breathe

You stole my peace
But I used it to purge past wounds
I harbor no regret or ill will
But Your venom now
is just your own

I am once again at home
In my heart
In my life
Clearer
Than before

I will have bled
The rotten black sap
Viscous and viscous
Out of my soul
Until there is no more
I have survived
And used
Your poison
To heal
And set me free.

And
Never again
Will I
Let another
Poison me.





Sent from my iPhone