A lot changed when a child is born. I knew that I was signing myself up for a challenging-yet-exquisite experience. I look at everything in life as a means to Self-realization, so my daily life, my relationship with my son, and the change I've made to care for him are no exception.
However, what I never thought about were the effects of practicing yoga formally much less then I had been. I was practicing 6 days each week pretty solid for at least 3 years, and almost everyday for 4 1/2 years when my son came. Now I rarely practice when I am not at work (due to the fact that my son needs supervision and attention), and to be an almost-stay-at-home mom, I reduced my work week to four days.
It took me a while to realize, but I really feel it on the days when I don't practice. And I don't mean just physically, although I am conscious of the compression in my spine I start to feel increasing if I don't redirect the posture properly with very frequent reminders. I mean that that sense of loving-bliss and patient resillience I have come to be is tested by the normal circumstances of life faster and faster the farther I am away from my last practice.
I am thankful for this opportunity to experience the power of daily yoga, then to have had it taken away, and to be able to feel the changes. I am aware that daily practice is incredibly neccessary if one really wants to transcend all of the pitfalls and negative habits of the human experience. If we want to be free from suffering, to live life from the still, loving center of consciousness, then getting to the point of being able to practice on our own and practicing in between classes is key.
I feel my mind heavy with junk, with sediment, and I feel the overthinking wearing me down in between sessions. I am not as loving, in fact I can fall prey to negatively perceived sensations that set off a cacade of energy blocking thoughts, actions and experiences, which drag my energy and mindset down.
Doing even 10-15 minutes of thorough sun salutations every morning, utilizing ujjayi breathing could be enough on the "in-between days". Over time, we can easily guide our own asana practice, and use group classes as a well to drink from once a week to keep us energized, creative, in-touch and on-track.
For a while I felt this slowly edging in, and I thought doing daily meditation would help clear and recenter me. Its not that meditation wouldn't work, but that for me, the difference between meditating "cold" or right after an asana practice is so profound that I have absolutely no desire to sit unless I am in the "right" state of mind, even if I have the desire to have the desire.
I think that my small, almost daily, window (a.k.a. nap-time), during which I have to fit all of the computer work that goes into running Enlighten and numerous projects, will be best used to include an asana and meditation practice on the three days each week that I don't teach classes. This is a more important self-discipline I feel then struggling to sit for ten minutes, when I can very clearly feel the alignment of my physical and energetic layers are off and need adjusting, so that the prana can flow as it should. Yes, this is what I feel, and its what you can detect with your senses too, and much more, simply by practicing yoga everyday. It may be 3 hours some days or only 15 minutes a day, but any bit helps expand your consciousness. Then there will come a time when you will know how much it takes to get yourself to the place where you are able to walk taller, meditate joyously, and live from your heart with an extraordinary amount of loving-bliss and brilliant creativity that allow you to be successful at all levels of life.
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