Faith

Faith is fighting to know my own worth and majesty after a lifetime of not seeing or feeling it.

Faith is believing that no matter how embarrassing my learning has been, that I am brilliant and never was anything less. Even if I've felt the sting of embarrassment more times than I can imagine or express.

Faith is believing, in spite of the ugly patterns I've faced for far too many years, that real love is everywhere and that a partner equal in consciousness and strength exists, and will become part of my life, at any moment. Faith is believing it's not too late, that I'm not being punished, that I never should settle, that every truly happy couple I see inspires me and shows me love is real and possible.

Faith is fighting to believe these things, fighting to be happy, because there is no reason to stay beaten down, ever.

Faith is knowing that these feelings are just old wounds leaving me, and that I'm better and brighter by the day.

No matter how worthless I've ever felt in my youth, no matter how unseen by my own family, my own friends, by lovers, I SEE ME, I know who I am. Not only do I need a man who truly sees me, but who knows that if he passes his chance to be with me, he'll regret it for the rest of his days. I'm not just some fish, some one of many, dime a dozen. How dare you blame your fears on fate and timing?! Letting me go is losing me forever. I will not wait, I will not be spun in circles stagnantly while you slowing decide to grow up. I'm gone. You chose. That's not faith, boys, that's your free will and cross to bear.

I have faith that there is a man that will value me and my heart and my light above his own complacency, fears, and habits. He won't have to compromise who he is; he will be richer, freer, more electrifying and authentic because of the alchemy of our energies. He will have to crack his walls and expand and grow and never stop. Otherwise he cannot keep up with me.

Faith is believing that something good is happening, that all things good are happening; no matter how much you've hurt, been disappointed in the fearful shallowness of the world around you, resonant beings exist. Faith is staying open and letting the universe love you in a million ways through a million beings. Faith is standing your ground and being yourself, no matter who or how many tell you that you aren't right. I know myself better than you do. How well do you know yourself??

Faith is standing steady with a slight smile while your whole world falls down again.. AGAIN... Because you know that this means it's all about to get even better. Have faith.