Monday, February 27, 2012

On Unconditional Love

The everyday kind of love in the yogic view is tainted with attachment. This doesn't refer to affection, it refers to the conditions we consciously or subconsciously apply to the relationship. I will love you as long as you fulfill x, y, and z. I will love you as long as you want to marry me, or do as I want, or give up what you do that rubs me the wrong way. I will love you as long as you obey me, let me control you, or as long as you give me everything I want.

We apply these conditions to all relationships unknowing, for example, we can get upset with our children because they may not want to submit their will to ours at all times. But is it reasonable to expect them to always submit their choices or even their comfort to our own? This truly is what we ask of them! Or in romantic relationships, we can often ask our partner to change to keep us liking them. We break down what it is to be ourselves and ask each other to play roles and put on masks. Is that healthy?

Even more subtle, the expectation for the other to love us back in the same way we love them is also a condition. It is a pretty subtle one indeed, yet it is a condition. If you have ever been in love you will know that it cannot be willed into being, it cannot be controlled, it doesn't happen by choice. It is completely natural, it is all feeling and not at all rational. If I am in love with you, it doesn't influence you being in love with me. There can be times in life we experience it. And depending on the unique situation, it can be very rich teaching grounds for both.

Don't ever feign love. Don't ever deny it. Do your best to guard it from conditional attachment. Let it be pure and unconditional, and it will fill your whole life with joy, light, and amazing experiences. It will expand your heart and consciousness exponentially.

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