Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Mother Wound

Little girl
Hardly seen
Hardly noticed

Sweet and lovely
Swears she's ugly
Because eyes that once held stars for her
Gaze right past and through her
Glazed over
And ears
That once held rapture for her every sound
Now grew deaf to her
Except in urgency

She doesn't know
That it's on them
All she knows is that they say they love her
But she can't feel it

When you live all day and night
With no real connection
You learn to feed
Like a shark
When someone spends a moment
To notice your light

And the mirror of desperation in others
Is far too much to bear
Because it reveals
A wound
A weakness
So profound and terribly
That it seems to taint
Every breath
Every day..

Little girl doesn't know how to believe that anyone cares,
She doesn't believe that she deserves it anyway.

Full Attention indicates love~
When we fall in love
We gaze longer into each other's eyes
Nestle into each other's souls
Babies gaze for hours
Because they are nothing but love

When we love we look far deeper
Then we do
Most of the time
We don't hardly even look at each other's eyes
Or recognize the humanness of other humans
Dreary haze across the face
Eyes glazed
As we each live in our head
Replaying our mother wounds
In every scene
Creating drama to make us kings and queens
For a day
Believing only in indignance & desperation
That we will attract love
Addicted to the high
Of being sick..
Until one day, maybe, we can see..


Little girl
Grew up
Learned to starve herself
And to seek a perfect body
If the outside is flawless
They can't deny me..
Someone can love me
Even if I can't

Little girl
Died inside
A thousand and one times
Every day
Utterly alone
Rejecting every attention shown
Because she couldn't see
Past the ugliness she felt inside
And she died
All day
Every day
And one day
She gave up.

Little girl
Taught herself to believe
That she is lovable
Through a miracle
Through serendipity
Through sheer determination
To not be filled with so much mire and misery

Somehow learned that if a man doesn't see her look so good,
If she meets jealous scorn & not warmth in a beautiful woman's gaze,
If no one sees her when her hair is pretty,
Or her outfit striking..
If no one recognized the mellifluous sway of her hips
Like the goddess herself,
Like light shining rainbows of pleasure into the world
Through the prism of her heart..
If she is not seen
She learned that SHE sees
And divinity sees
Because It is the essence of everything..
Even her own pure loving heart.

Little girl learned that
Being seen by the light
Being seen by her own heart
Is seen enough.

Little girl
Was freed
From the need
To appease strangers
And distant hearts
But what of those she loves most?

Now little girl needs to learn
As full circle things seem to go,
That even the greatest loves of her life
Do not need to always see her
Sometimes their eyes will grow dim

Because like those who dealt her the wound
They are only human
And often consumed
In their own world
Their own growth and pain

And no amount of emptiness within her
Will fill them up
No amount of shame
Will make them smile at her the same way again
And no amount of loneliness
Will bring them back

No amount of yelling
Is ever telling
Them what really hurts her

So no matter what love she has
And no matter what bonds she cherishes
And that feed her soul

Her primary relationship will always be
between her own soul and the light therein..
The inner spark of Divinity.

Your primary relationship in this life,
Is between your Self-Soul & Cosmic Entirety,
So live your true passions,
And stop looking for approval
In the eyes and hearts of others.
It's there in the trees,
Bowing and swaying to recognize
Your presence, once again,
The birds sing to you,
And the air longs for you to breathe it in,
In passionate, joyful breaths
Of ecstasy,
Because you and Reality
Got a thing
And no one,
No loss,
No temporary disconnection,
Can sever

Don't be afraid
To break away
To let go
To stand back

And let those
That love you most
Catch up.

Never restrain your love,
Never grow cold,
But sometimes we must
Be hardened
Just enough
To lay the boundary,
That says I love you,
But you must respect me
And then I will give you my everything.

Love without fear
Because no matter who comes and goes, my dear,

You are your first and last lover,
The Beloved spark of light within.
Be your own best friend.
Nourish the hearts of others
By SEEING them, the way you want to be seen,
From the light of your soul to theirs,
As often as you can,
As long as you can.
But fall in love with yourself,
And you will never be so empty again.

Heal your mother wound,
Don't pass it on.
Pay the love forward,
And shine on.

1 comment:

  1. Laura I read this and it felt like you reached right into my soul. It really brings a lot of perspective on the core essence of things. Thank you for this lovely heartfelt poem, I know its a bit of us. Progress not perfection but dear Laura I am on my way! NAMASTE ♥