I wish I had better news than this: that you will hurt, intensely, in this life; you will realize truths that break your heart and that of others; you will lose people and situations that once defined you and provided great comfort; you will feel agony tear apart your insides; you will feel completely lost; you will question this life, your purpose, and your worth; and you will be brought to your knees in submissive surrender due to deep pain more than once. You will be cracked open like a shell beaten on the rocks at the seashore..
The good news is this: that these states of intense suffering are acute and transient; that they happen in order to slough away dead layers of your identity and worldview that are keeping you small when you are actually destined to be great; that being lost is the only way that you can let go of enough preconceived ideas to realize new truths; and that when your shell finally cracks open you will know yourself to be the precious pearl and not the cumbersome, dingy armor you were afraid to remove yourself.
Surrender in the spiritual sense is not weakness or giving up~ it is the release of pig-headed adherence to ideas that are no longer reflecting reality; it is the cessation of swimming against the current of life because you stubbornly feel it is "supposed to" flow the way which you thought it should; it is the acceptance, albeit reluctantly, of absolute truth over lies and delusions.
Surrender and the letting go that allows it mark the beginning if freedom. Without those false concepts and sterile expectations, and heavy ideals, not based in heart but in conditioned belief, it is like setting down cinder blocks that you had been carrying around for as long as you can remember.
Set them down, and don't fear pain. Don't fear what you feel, no matter how intense. And no matter what your story has been this far, have absolute faith in your own resilience, your own worth, and your own ability to feel passion.
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