It is so funny how life unfolds! Just inside a self-imposed commitment, I find myself climbing a new fork on my path and my relationship to formal practice shifts.
I am studying Kashmiri Shaivism (Tantra, but not what most people think of it), and find lots of Truth in it for my path. It is a very different approach to the same yoga, but it places less stress on conventional practice and more emphasis on just trusting on the unconditional Love to be the guide.
So I feel like I'm cheating, but my way of just being in a creative groove is to follow my heart-center/conscience, which is much the purpose of the whole meditation thing- to get you into the timeless participation and non-judgmental awareness of the moment. Formal practice is important to cleanse/heal/purify and re-balance mind + body to return to that heart-space within. But for me that includes my walking in nature, communing with nature, seeing the Consciousness 'smiling' back at me in all things, and deep yoga asanas followed by some seated meditation. But for now, I'll still be sitting for my night session. But its almost too easy, being informed by this new perspective has revealed much of the innate and natural 'yoga' that has always been my nature.
Some days I am just a beginner, so humbled and just starting, looking out into the big unknown almost scared, but inspired. Then some days, I almost think I am really onto something, ready to just about be a guru (a "remover of ignorance"), an unconditionally loving consciousness that can be a mirror for others to show them their true essence with my loving words. Its all just cycles. Spirals, the path is filled with spirals. Its not linear, like I once conceived, its swirling, spiralling deeper. With each cycle the veils are removed one by one, the veils of ignorance dissolving, I feel clearer and clearer.
We build up the unknown to be so Poof! magical. Yet somehow thid enlightenment thing is more real and everyday, and completely attainable. It takes constant striving. But there is shift after shift in awareness, there is constant swirling change and rapid evolution. Its getting swifter and swifter and my expectations and attachments are disappearing of themselves.
So anyways, I'm going to sit my 20 mins enjoying the sensation of spanda and the oneness of internal and external sensations. Om namah shivayah, namaste!
What a fantastic reminder that we are all on the same path! It doesn't matter where you are on the path it is where you are supposed to be right now in this moment. You just have to remember to be aware and go with the experience.
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