Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Only Man Who Could Deserve Me

I can handle the sweet and subtle agony of longing for you,

Like a fire lashing at me from the inside,

Love for you,
Or just a thought
or sight of an object,
triggering a cascade of nostalgia
Pouring through my body
Like tiny pebbles stinging me
And the slight descending sadness resulting from
Each point of contact

I can handle the agony of missing
Of mother torn from child
When my son returns to his father
And I know
Truly what it is to ache

Now you
Finally I meet you in the flesh
Though I've longed for you
For so long
Before I knew you
Were the one who
I longed for

And we knew
We have known
Each other before
But Never more
Has this space
Between us
Been set on fire
Like it assaults my being
As if I'm lying on my bed
Longing for you
To take me
But you're not here
Not abandoning me
You are busy
This writhing is healthy

My son taught me
That we have to miss
The ones we love most
Though I knew it long ago
He made me accountable
To sanctify
And protect
The one relationship
I can and will never leave
The one
Between him and me

And who would've thought
He'd prepare me for this?
That, by God,
And everything seen
And unseen
That I never knew
You would come to mean
This much to me,
And upon my word,
Me to you.


This is what people starve to death waiting for..

Souls starve when they aren't seen,
Hidden in their flesh,
Like a jewel in a temple,
Praying, dreaming, begging,
To be set free.

Merely Seeing another's soul can be enough,
And All it needs
To shine and live on
In another day of drudgery

I am not starving any longer,
I feast
When I see you see me,
And one day
I will end every night worshipping
the One Soul
Reflected in your one soul
My body
Pouring vast love
Through longing fingers
And lips
The Universe Itself
Loving you through me

Until that day
I am no child
I am wise

And I have learned that love requires sacrifice

So I will make sure
To break my own heart
Just a little
Over and over
As I do for my son
To be the mother he deserves
And I will do it for you
Because though this love may fade
I will do everything in my power to
Keep it alive
To set it ablaze, to make it thrive..

So I will break my heart
Just a little
To keep this torrent of love flowing
It takes a subtle stream of melancholy
A small sacrifice
To protect the sanctity
Of this precious bond given to you and me

But tell me,
my love,

When you are without me,
When you lie down,
And shut off the light,

close your eyes,
let yourself be still,
and breathe deeply,

So ....slowly,

like you would if I were near,

and in your mind & senses
Imagine me there-
the feel of my skin,
My playful laughter,
& Incandescent smiles,
As my eyes
see into your soul...

Now open your eyes
Know I am far,
& read these words,
that caress your divine consciousness,

tell me,
What does your soul say?
Do you merely 'think' you love me?

Tell me, does your soul rattle the walls of your body,
Is it longing for me??

Oh, you are no fool.
You know what you did by being busy tonight.
You know exactly what you've done to me,
And that
Is exactly why
You are the only man who can
Possibly deserve me.

I, too, am no fool,
I know that if I'm on fire
So are you
And I

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