I Get It

A million times over
I get it
It's unrelenting
And although I bear no regrets
It doesn't help me to relent
Those that I have loved so dear
And one now that I had always wanted to be near

So I know that it always really does work out for the best
So I get better at recognizing & digesting
But it doesn't make it lovely
To let go
To the most amazing love you've ever known
And I know that love was within me
However, it's about the synchronicity
And the connection between corresponding male & female energies
And the sacred power released in that
And a bond
From far beyond
This one life

And I wonder with my head in the pillow crying again...
Can anyone keep up with me?
Can anyone ever keep up with me??

Or will I be punished for growing fast
In that nothing will last?

So much for the merit of spiritual expansion
I cannot slow down and love makes me grow fast

And I get it,
it's all transient,
Blah, blah, blah..

Oh I dwell and revel in the impermanence so I know that all too well.
Letting this one go is hell.

But this life IS transient to the soul,
So I know,
Not all can last,
but I do believe in a love
Worth holding fast,
Not out of fear
But awe
And beauty.

Because it is a sacred sanctuary where just these two can go,
And be one,
And be inspired,
And healed,
And have their greatest strengths
And potentials revealed..

So I get it..
I alone
Cannot manifest this love
It takes us two.

Doesn't there come a time
To stop giving up
And choose the most profoundly moving one..

And what is the meaning of assigning that role to one who has a fresh slate
And may not realize that this is possibly the high water mark of love in this world?

Where does that leave me?

I get it..
It isn't about me.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself,
I just don't understand where to put my energy,
What shall I manifest now?

I cannot yet say.

But my years of sloppy
And careless manifestations
Are over.

I am on the brink of everything I've ever wanted..
But this one place
I seem to always get closer,
Closer, think I have it and it's gone.

I get it.

This yoga stuff works. I am happier more,
I am more loving,
My energy lifting..

But I wonder if any man will keep up.
44, I thought it was you.
Maybe you'll be back.
Maybe you won't.
I wonder if I somehow have a say this time,
And if so if I'm wise enough to choose for my best.
I get it.

I get it.

It doesn't make it much better.
Not right now.
Goodnight.