I have been around the block yogically speaking... I mean, I have tried many different modes of practice and integrating practice into my lifestyle, into my worldview, into my heart...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us... There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you..." ~ Marianne Williamson
I started with a very ascetic mode of practice and viewing life, and while parts of it fit, and the universal mindset of yoga always fit, it just denied all creativity, all passion, the drive of the heart, which to me, always leads to Truth. Unconditional Love and Truth are my path, no matter how hard I tried to suppress my light, my style, my passions, they always would shine through. Not only will they shine through, but they are attractive and inspiring to others. Others say I brighten their day or make a difference in their lives!! What an enormous honor and humbling opportunity to grow.. so why would I suppress that? Why do most people suppress their passion, their individuality, their creativity?...
For the sake of fitting into a mold called "normal", I suspect. Conformity comes at a very high price. It is basically akin abandoning your soul. Abandon everything that makes you YOU and live just like industry will have you- eating engineered garbage and thus getting sick and depressed, eating out of big pharma's expensive hand, and consuming egregious amounts of disposable plastic objects made in sweat-shops in China to fill the deep spiritual and emotional void developing inside. Is it worth being sick or slowly dying inside the rest of your days to think you feel like you fit in, just so that you can complain to the next guy about the weather and how much life sucks? Is this not the truth if you look at it with unclouded eyes and an open mind?
When we become more ourselves and give us to that path of individuality, we will lose our connection to some people, sometimes even family members. But the only connections that will fall away are the ones that are not real soul connections. They may be rekindled later, or they may not. I have hurt when dear friends have shunned me during dark times because my positivity has flown in the face of their depression. Many people have rejected me in many ways because I am "too damn happy" for them. It stopped hurting me, because I started to see what I saw as a teenage girl... I never cared too much for conforming, and always followed my heart, it was my greatest wisdom and gift that I think I was gracefully born with... people warned me not to be so open to other people so that I don't have my heart broken, and I, in my teenage ferocity, said, "I'm right following my heart, why should I change because they are assholes?" Why should we sell ourselves short because others are not open to us? No reason! Why should we not shine because others are afraid to shine? No reason, in fact, we may inspire others, give them the courage to open up and really live, really love, just because we are uncompromised in our uniqueness.
While why is covered, how is the topic I wanted to discuss, how to figure out what it is we are, truly ARE... what positive qualities automatically surface over and over again? What do we feel naturally passionate about, drawn to, in the world, in others, what do we love to learn about or feel we cannot get enough of? That is our starting point.
From there, allow yourself to dream, allow yourself to speak with all different sorts of people in all different sorts of places. Let your passions and ideas grow. Don't be afraid for some ideas to flesh out and most ideas to lead only to other ideas, this is how it all works. Open up. Be brave. Be fearless- fear is the opposite of being fully alive.
For me, I used to try to shut up and not talk so much. Sometimes that isn't a bad idea... like when watching a movie, or listening to someone, or really hearing a song, or really being in the moment with nature, or sharing close contact with a loved one.. then I will shut up, blissfully and naturally... but if it weren't for my ability to paint with my words, I wouldn't be me, I wouldn't benefit from the knowledge and inspiration I has been granted by so many amazing beings. My business survives and now grows and thrives by the connections made by being me and speaking to others. I have found loves, found friends, found knowledge and found my Self through connecting with other beings, especially other human beings. Other parts of mySelf have been unlocked by knowing other people, again, because I was myself and spoke from my heart with no self-consciousness or restriction. Relationships, especially the major romantic relationships in my life, have each unlocked a space within myself I never knew about.. for one the major factor was travel... for another it was music... love of beauty, intelligence, art, nature, and playfulness are part of the very fabric of me.
I have been blessed with a mind that puts things together like no other. I look at the world in a very unique way. Some would say its a very Aquarian thing. Sometimes my creative perspective leads to momentary confusion on my part, or misunderstanding with others, but mostly it leads me to live in a very free, unconstrained way. I fulfill my societal obligations with the least hassle possible, and live as my free-spirited Self, carving my own path through this lifetime. This is why I am the kind of person that works for herself. I have been blessed with the ability to put all of my natural qualities together and carve it out into a beautiful career serving the world and growing as a person all the way.
We all may not be meant to work for ourselves- it has ups and downs!! Yet, we all have this ability to put together our passions into a satisfying, gratifying, inspiring and extraordinary way of life. Our career ideally will challenge us and honor our needs so that we can stay nourished, refreshed and whole, but it isn't "who we are". Our hobbies, our choices outside of the office, what causes we are active with, what we choose to do with our time on this earth describes us. Let the way you spend your time be worthy of you as a person. Pour your love into your lifestyle.
We all have to eat, clean the house, make a living financially, and interact with the world. HOW we choose to fulfill these roles is unique to us, and shouldn't by any means be compared to any societal standards of expectancy or normalcy. It may take time, but live as your Self, and you will attract like-minded beings, you will form your own tribe. Maybe what satisfies you is very simple, maybe very wild and adventurous. As long as you are not kidding yourself, not saying, "I would do this, this or that if I could, but..." BUT NOTHING!! This is your life, happening one moment at a time! Don't resign to shrink into the corner and let others live. LIVE FULLY! Live Vividly!! Follow your passions! Think of good reasons not to.. I bet you will find more compelling evidence to live then slowly dry up and blow away!
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